Man, had a lot more typed out, but it ain't really worth the trouble. Just need to say this much, at least on this particular subject. Wierd? You do not know how country churches work. You've got (or at least are presenting) an idealized version, apparently formulated by positive experiences. These places get a hell of a lot nastier than you seem to think they do. Exclusion defines them. They're tolerant of outsiders for a bit -- sometimes, if you're the right sort and they're the right congregation -- but more than that is a helluva' sketchier question. There's a reason LGBT folks, among others, are fair fearful of the US's religious right, and it's pretty damn good. There's more than a few that are like what you've been describing. But there's a hell of a lot that aren't, too.
The rest of it... think what it boils down to, if y'ask me, is that the problem with what folks have been talking about the last bit is that you don't have a right to force your association on someone else. They ain't gotta' tolerate your shit, well intended or not, and you got no proper mandate t'force 'em to. They don't want you in a discussion, well, sod off, yeah? All this talk of respect and crap -- if you have any, you'll respect that. If they're forcin' association on you, same thing, but don't talk like they're the ones committin' some kind of moral wrong when the actual problem is they don't want you involved in their discussion.
And, y'know. When y'all are demanding these safe spaces and whatnot should screw off? What you're saying is you want the right to force your association on folks, despite their wishes. Not cool, y'ken? Public spaces are public spaces but ain't no one owe you an ear or their time.