Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Mr Frog]

We do have native gold on the map, so I suppose that if the worst-case scenario happens we can just make gold minecarts, fill them up with gold mugs, and create eternally-oscillating bling of death.

E: Wait, gold can only be made into goblets (unless I use native gold). Scratch that.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalěs]

Sign me up!

Edit: A potential dethmachine is aborted. Because no mugs.

I like the sound of this.

[NCommander]

We do have native gold on the map, so I suppose that if the worst-case scenario happens we can just make gold minecarts, fill them up with gold mugs, and create eternally-oscillating bling of death.

E: Wait, gold can only be made into goblets (unless I use native gold). Scratch that.

A goblin is just a fancy type of mug. That or change the raws to make gold mugs.

Or use DFhack and fire the mugs out of a catapult.

[Mr Frog]

(( OOC: Gonna do this in two parts again, as it lets me squeeze out some ‼CONTENT‼ while still keeping to my preferred standard of quality ))


1 Hematite 319

Got a couple dwarves telling me I got their names wrong on the register. That's ZM5 the Stoneworker and MidnightJaguar the Jeweller. I fixed that shit up, and then they said I was haggises! Fuckin' great to see them so happy.

Speaking of happy, you know what would make me happy? MOTHER. FUCKING. HYDRATION. Especially when I'm pumping iron. Gonna put in a water fountain near the weight room. Gonna connect it to the river for some FRESH NATURAL FLAVOUR.



Finally got around to the Spawn dude. Still holed up underneath the farm hatch. Looked like he was trying to open it, but actually he was just clawing it up and shit. I was like, "Dude, you open it like this," and then he was all "Holy shit dude thanks." Had a nice fucking chat afterwards. He was all, "Bro, I left the hive to strike out on my own, and I have learned SO many things. Fuckin' friendship and not murdering bros and how to open hatches and shit like that," and I was like, "Dude, I know just what you mean, that's just like this one time, when I accidentally went into the wrong lab back home, and I had to go to therapy for a month to get over it." Fuckin' magical. Really like the dude, even though he still hasn't figured out how clothes work. Or breath mints. Maybe I could teach him!

[There is a drawing of a horrifically-deformed, emaciated humanoid with a jagged gash running from his lower jaw to the bottom of his sternum. In place of arms, he has long, misshapen claws. The image is captioned “NEW FRIEND, FUCK YEAH”]

Then I totally inductified him into our populactation. Gave him a new name to like, baptismerate him and shit:



He was like, "Dude, that is the raddest fucking name I have ever been given." I KNOW.

Put in some orders with The Master for some grates. Need them for the FROG and all. She was so fucking happy to have some work to do, she screamed! Then she started talking backwards. I know that feel, bro.


Got my sapient-testing package for the month from the Corporation. Gonna stick this shit in me and write down what happens. (Not in here though, dude. That shit's TOP SECRET!) Not really looking forward to all the forms I always have to sign for this shit, but whatcha gonna do? Also I guess the needles are pretty cold.


4 Hematite 319

Hey, Giant Book? You know that feeling you get, when your insides tighten up, and you feel like you're gonna shit yourself?
Ha! Me neither! We're totally on the same page, Giant Book (that was a pun). But some of the other dudes say they had it today. Something about how "They found us so quickly, dude!"

Dunno what they were talking about, bro. Sounds pretty fucking serious. Gonna have to investigerate it. Do some sleuthifying. Go undercover and shit. Gain their trust and learn their fucking secrets. Become one with the locals. Grok the lingo. Yeah.

Oh, and also, we got a bunch of Spawn of Holistic up top today! Fucking cool!



I asked Spawnbro if he knew them and he was like, "No dude" and then he was all "I don't know every Spawn, dude!" Love that Spawnbro.
I wanted to do some SCIENCE on them, but then the dudes who spotted them were all "HOLY SHITCRACKERS DUDE" and scared them off. Lost that element of surprise and shit. S'okay though. Spawnbro said that there'd be more. Dunno why he wasn't happier about it. We'll capture some, and then we can do some FUCKING SCIENCE!

Also, bit of a problem with the cistern. Miner told me that the dude mining it can't get out. Something something "you designated the ramp wrong, you great sack of haggises!" I was all, "Thanks a bunch dude, but the real haggises here is you, for helping to get him out!" He was all "What?" and then I pointed to the map and told him to start digging the river tunnel to let him out.


Got some lizard-looking dude out here trying to get a drink and wimping it up over the blood rain:



PURE FUCKING PROTEIN, MAN. Hey, you know what's even better than drinking out of a river?



FUCKING BOOZE, BRO. Setting up some stills straight-a-fucking-way.


7 Hematite 319

Someone came running at me today, going all "YOU SACK OF HAGGISES" and shit. Says I left a hole in the wall, the one around the magma pool, and some of those little red dudes got in. Scared the shit out of one of the turkeys:



I was all HOLY FUCK BRO THANKS FOR WARNING ME and then I SPRANG THE FUCK INTO ACTION.

But first I figured out where the hole was and was all, "Could someone fix this shit please"



Then I actually SPRANG THE FUCK INTO ACTION:





It was fuckin' hardcore, dude. Little red dudes were FUCKING EVERYWHERE. We were totally surrounded bro. Those little red things had fucking death burning in their eyes and shit. The odds seemed totally stacked against us, dude. One of them squared the fuck off with me mano-a-crundlo, its little eyes daring me to make a move and shit. I think it even growled at me, bro.



Then I flexed my ginormous biceps



AND HACKED ITS FUCKING HEAD OFF OF ITS FUCKING SHOULDERS IN ONE AWESOME FUCKING LUNGE! FUCKING YEAH!!! I'M A MOTHERFUCKING SAMURAI!

This was so awesome, so manly, that The Master just couldn't fucking contain herself. Inspired by my kickass physique and general virilicity and stuff, she just fucking jumped on top of one of the fuckers and started beating it to death with her bare fucking hands, screaming "THIS IS FOR CHESTNUT!!!!"



Powerful shit, bro. I'm sure Chestnut is real fucking proud, whoever he is.

The fight was intense, bro. So intense I'm not gonna bother writing any of it down. There was a great clashing of swords and gnashing of many-pointed teeth and stuff. Got blood on my socks – that shit stains, dude. We totally won eventually, though, rising through the jaws of defeat to claim victory and shit while The Master stood on top of her dead crundle and yodelled, like a true warrior-dude.



Brings a tear to my fucking eye. Bards will fucking sing of this battle for YEARS, dude.


12 Hematite 319

Dude. I just realised. I'm due to start bulking again in a week! These tiny farms won't be able to keep up with me! There's no fucking way! Shit bro, this is terrible!



This'll satisfy my carb needs. For a bit.

Bunch of humans turned up in a wagon this afternoon. Too bad for them we don't have any bins to put goods in. Maybe next year, dudes!


17 Hematite 319

Great news, dude. Just gotta put in this FUCKING GENIUS security thingy I designed in the cistern and our water fountain's totally ready to fountain some water:



Always wondered how those mechanism-things work. Don't have anything like this at the Corporation. Maybe... maybe this calls for some MOTHERFUCKING RESEARCH!


And Aseaheru was sprinting by here in a real hurry? Lots of muttering about wyrd portents and the Old Powers fading and the Last Days drawing upon us. Y'know, that old shit.



Hear he found a carpentry workshop and started piling a whole bunch of shit inside:



Did somebody inject him with something, dude? Because I don't remember injecting him with anything.
Gonna send him a care package. I know he likes meat pies. So, I'm gonna send him dumbbells. That's kind of like a meat pie.

Man, all of this Overseering is really dehydrating me, dude. People getting injected and needing care packages and shit. Gotta go take a drink.

Except there's still (HA, ANOTHER PUN) no booze.

So I'm gonna nip down to the river while the dudes I asked to be brewers (can't remember their names, hahaha) go and brew us something.



Great water, bro. You can really taste the leaves. FUCKING ANTIOXIDANTS.



23 Hematite 319

Dude. Aseaheru made us the most rad fucking door I have ever seen in my life.



Fucking glorious. So fucking glorious, in fact, that I'm not gonna do anything with it. Not even the ritziest fucking weight room is worthy of this fucking door, dude. Bit odd that there are no meatpies on it, though. They're probably there in spirit.

Oh, and if that wasn't sweet enough, Asea's talking like a normal dude again, so that's cool. Doesn't remember the care package I sent him, though. It's cool, bro. It's the thought that counts, and I think you liked it, so that still counts.

Speaking of counts, the cistern's all hooked up and ready to be filled with river water LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BOSS:



Just need to wall off that bit leading into the noble's quarters and connect it to the river and we'll be ready for ALL NATURAL ADDITIVE-FREE MOTHERFUCKING MINERALISED WATER BEAMED STRAIGHT INTO OUR FUCKING THROATS BY THE POWER OF MOTHERFUCKING SCIENCE.


2 Malachite 319

I can hear the cistern filling up from here, dude. (Mostly because I'm standing next to it with my ear to the wall.) Sounds like... SCIENCE. BITCH.



Sat down and designed the prettiest fucking room I ever fucking seen. Feel like tearing up just looking at it. Gonna put some FINISHED MOTHERFUCKING GOODS in that shit. Gonna be FUCKING AMAZETASTIC:



Hope those miner dudes will do my vision justice. I'm sure they can. They're motherfucking haggises, and I don't call dudes that lightly.


Nipped up to the surface to bust some squats out in the sun, and some fucking bug-eyed freakshow comes swooping in! Think I saw something like that in a sci-fi movie. Fortunately, my main dude Imic was there to scare it off with some bolts:



Love ya, babe. Now I can hit the weights in fucking tranquility and shit.


While I was out there, I noticed something, dude. Something big and hooved.
Something that shouldn't have been out there.

Horses, dude! We're still keeping the horses out in the protein-rain! They're gonna steal all our motherfucking protein!
Gotta fix this at some point, but our pastures are full and our miners are busy. Gonna make a motherfucking mental note of that shit.


6 Malachite

The decoratifications I ordered are all made, brah. It's time to GET MOTHERFUCKING RELIGIOUS IN HERE:



I put in some PumpMasters^tm so we can get ripped and pray AT THE SAME MOTHERFUCKING TIME. You fucking watching, dude-who-I'm-named-after (I forgot his name hahaha)? Who's the genius inventor now? BOTH OF US, BECAUSE WE'RE FUCKING AWESOME, BRO!

[there is a surprisingly-meticulous drawing of a heavily-muscled young dwarf and a faceless figure in a lab coat with their arms on each other's shoulders. There is an arrow pointing to the figure labelled “I BET HE LOOKS SUPER FUCKING SMART”. The image is captioned “INVENTOR BROS 4 LIFE, WOOT”.]

Got a bunch of dwarves coming in. Probably already heard about the kickass fucking temple I'm building. Halle-fucking-lujah, bros.

Farms are now fully expanded and ready to smash out carbs as fast as I we can choke it down:



Hellllll yeah.
Rock in the corner was a bit annoying. Kinda spoiled my aesthi ascetic geometrical vibes. No big deal, though.


Caught a craftsdude dragging rock up to the lobby. I was all, “Dude what” and then he told me that there was a whole fucking workshop in front of the barracks I never even noticed! Holy shit dude! THAT'S what I kept tripping over! Never even fucking realised!



I was all, “Dude, your informatics is like, so fucking appreciated. Thanks man.” Then I told him to take it down.

[Splint]

And then the mugs exploded from it.

[NCommander]

You know, I read most of Spearbreakers, and I can't even remember how the mug thing got started. It's like that entire thread went mugshaped from the word go.

It's a pity planepacked was fixed. I would love to have a mug in game with fractual mugs of the history of the universe on it.

_{Though I do know how to reproduce it with DFHack even in new versions ...}

[Splint]

It started because I had accidently left a mug production order on repeat, which Talvieno didn't notice during his turn, which lead to a quantum mug pileup as the things started to hurt Mr Frog's FPS during his turn.

[Lolfail0009]

ALL NATURAL ADDITIVE-FREE MOTHERFUCKING MINERALISED WATER BEAMED STRAIGHT INTO OUR FUCKING THROATS BY THE POWER OF MOTHERFUCKING SCIENCE.

This is the greatest thing I've read all godsdamned month

[Reudh]

It started because I had accidently left a mug production order on repeat, which Talvieno didn't notice during his turn, which lead to a quantum mug pileup as the things started to hurt Mr Frog's FPS during his turn.

Yeah, and on my turn I bought out the entire human caravan of items with around 1500 mugs. That barely put a dent in our supply. Still had uh, 5000?

[Imic]

I am doing a pottery course, and I have made a mug with crappy pictures of mr. Frog, splint, amd thebiggerfish, as well as a tile with a dorf, a mug and a broken spear. They shall be completely done by fryday at the most.

[llasram]

Okay, so I decided to make a 3D model of the artifact aseaheru made, I did as good as I could with what sleep I've had.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Mr Frog]

Okay, so I decided to make a 3D model of the artifact aseaheru made, I did as good as I could with what sleep I've had.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

> Microcline cabochons
> Pangolins
> Meatpies (there in spirit)

Very accurate. 10/10

[llasram]

I actualy totaly for realz made a pie and hid it within the door to get the meatpie spirits.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

not really

I definitely will try to do this for most if not all artifacts we produce, impossible things excluded.

[ZM5]

That is an awesome door - it'd be a shame not to use it for some really ridiculous, overly-complex structure later on.

[Aseaheru]

 Have thing!

Spoiler: Thing! (click to show/hide)

 From the collection of notes written up by AseaHeru Scrapetools, Meatpieologist of Braveworks in the year 319

 ...and the crust is flakey, just right to absorb the gravy of the pie.

 I have no idea what just happened. One moment I am heading for the kitchens to check out the latest batch of meat pies, the next its two weeks later, Im covered in sweat, semi-rotten meat pies and wood carvings holding up a wooden door covered in images of an animal I had to go to the mercs to find out what the hell they where.
 According to the overseer, the pies where from him while I was working on the door like someone crazy. He also asked if I got the dumbbells he sent me with them. How can bells be dumb? Also, we have bells?

 Now, this recipie... Its strange. Mostly because, at the incessent nagging by the overseer the cook used some of the blood rain in it. The other components consist of flour made from various cavern plants, crundle... The passage continues on to describe other meat pies from 319.