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[Gwolfski]

I have a slight problem. It's that I can't stop myself in cheating sometimes. I have a lot of school stuff to do online but I always end up doing something else. This gets me in trouble and I usually get a few days ban on doing non school stuff on my computer. And I can't stop. I know this is going to end badly but I keep on doing it. I just can't stop myself.and it's so stupid. Like I could've waited half an hour but no.

 Any advice?

[Flying Dice]

You're going to get to a point in life where you can't cheat or bullshit because you're doing real work with the expectation that you produce real results. Unless you go into a really soft field, I suppose.

When that happens, if you've cheated past your difficulties prior to that, you're not going to have the knowledge, skills, or experience to do it right. It's an old saw, but cheating really does hurt you worst of all, because you're denying yourself the opportunity to learn how to do something properly in an environment where very little is riding on the outcome and you can afford to fuck up a bunch before you get it right.

That's all there is to it. Read that. Understand that. If you're still cheat, every single time you'll know that doing it could potentially mean being fired, dumped, blacklisted, getting people killed, being badly embarrassed in front of your peers, losing the respect of the people who have control over your position and pay, &c. because you didn't learn how to do the thing right when you had the opportunity. The higher the level of your education, the more relevant this is. Cheating on a high school quiz is nothing. Cheating in the degree program feeding into your career means that you will be measurably less knowledgeable and competent than the people you're competing with for jobs.

[feelotraveller]

My advice would be to try and figure out why you are persistently doing this since this informs how to deal with the behaviour.

[Gwolfski]

I might've written it wrong. Instead if doing the work im supposed to, I do other stuff. And it's silly little things. Stuff that could've waited a bit. But for some reason I can't resist it. And recently, I was in a situation where I could've used my phone, but no, stupid me had to interrupt my schoolwork on the computer, even though I could've used my phone and be ok. It's like an urge you can't resist at the time, yet later you kick yourself for doing it.

[NJW2000]

That would be procrastination, which is a fairly universal problem.

You could try using programs which block certain sites, or even other programs, from opening, there are definitely programs for doing the first one.

If you really can't kick the habit, you could try setting out 5 minutes before you start schoolwork, to check bay12 etc. It might help you stop doing these things during your actual work time.

[Jiokuy]

Those sound like Executive Functioning issues. If you try googling that term some, you might be able to find some helpful resources.

[pisskop]

Is it going to be easier to do later?

not usually.  Im gonna say you should practice sitting down and doing work first.

  It may be hard to get into at first, but its easier once you invest time and effort into it.


Remember that people only change when they are ready to, so youve got to put in the energy and commitment

[ChairmanPoo]

Buy a whip. Punish your weak flesh when you fail to meet the standards.

Whip it good

Whip it bloody

[Gwolfski]

Thanks for all the help. I'll try the suggestions. But they don't sell decent whips here.. .

[ChairmanPoo]

Thanks for all the help. I'll try the suggestions. But they don't sell decent whips here.. .

No problemo! Make your own! http://www.instructables.com/id/Paracord-Cat-O-Nine-Tails/

Happy flagellatin'!

[feelotraveller]

I might've written it wrong. Instead if doing the work im supposed to, I do other stuff. And it's silly little things. Stuff that could've waited a bit. But for some reason I can't resist it. And recently, I was in a situation where I could've used my phone, but no, stupid me had to interrupt my schoolwork on the computer, even though I could've used my phone and be ok. It's like an urge you can't resist at the time, yet later you kick yourself for doing it.

My emphasis.

It is clear what you are doing but the question is why.  That irresistible desire comes from somewhere/something.  Some quick possible candidates: schoolwork sucks/internet is cool; f*** you parent(s); or, I get lots of attention when I'm in trouble.  Or it could be something more event based, like that one time you got a good grade last year was the time you f'ed around and rushed something out at the last minute but the more effort you put in at other times the worse your grade got. It is even possible it stems from a seemingly disconnected traumatic event.  Or it might be that the only situation you currently feel unstressed/happy with is stuffing around on the computer.  I honestly don't know what it will be, and it is quite possible that you are not conscious of it either.  Take some time and observe yourself as a scienfific experiment, see if it can be puzzled out.  (When did it start, when does it happen most/when are the odd times you can resist...? etc.) Then deal with the cause of the beviour rather than sticking a bandaid on top of the symptom.

[Reelya]

There's probably a dopamine hit involved in it somewhere, but there always is :/

A mixed of tactics is probably a good idea, to get more time management happening.

Think about how you feel about the tasks you need to do. What's the most pressing reason you can't do that right away? If you feel a particular task is "overwhelming" or "too big", then part of the process is that you need to bullet point / break the task down into smaller tasks. Sometimes just taking that first step is the biggest part of a task, and once you've started it feels natural to keep doing it.

You can also put a stopwatch app on your phone, then when you have a break, chuck an allowed timer on it. Planned breaks where you do things you want to do can be good. So you can game or watch videos for a bit, but then have an alert to get back to the main task.

Browser add-ons such as BlockSite allow you to block sites with a whitelist or a blacklist. Such things can be helpful to cull e.g. the sites which are the biggest timewasters. But start slow: pick a site which absorbs time but you feel adds little value to your life, then block just that one site. Let that single site be blocked for a while and eventually you'll forget about that site and it's one less thing to think about. Gradually expand the block list. Eventually you won't need it.

[feelotraveller]

There's probably a dopamine hit involved in it somewhere, but there always is :/

Yes.  THe simplest explanation runs something like engaging in behaviour which could be punished increases anxiety leading to a release of andrenalin and subsequently endorphins.  After this behaviour has happened once or twice a positive feedback loop ensues, the adrenalin increases acuity whilst the endorphins increase pleasure.  Assuming this then the above suggestions are good ways of blocking the loop.  AN alternative would be to engage in an activity which places you in a heightened state before sitting down at the computer, like going for a run or cycling, for example.  BUt it is worth considering other possible causes of the behaviour since if they exist stopping this behaviour will cause the emergence of some other release mechanism.

Perhaps another case could be to learn to be happy with who or what you are, if for example school is not a good learning environment for you but internet surfing is, but be aware of the consequences of not having that bit of paper which purports to dcument your abilities.

[nenjin]

The first response, even though it's about actual cheating, is more or less still on the money.

You will hit a point in life where no one will tolerate your procrastination anymore. Parents, teachers, employers...will all eventually say "grow up or ship out." Your ability to be an independent human being, and not constantly be sucking all the time, will depend on your ability to "get shit done." You don't have to be perfect, but you absolutely need to learn when it's time to work, whatever that ends up meaning. (Writing papers for school, projects, paying bills, going to a job.)

Some people are lucky and skate by on natural ability. The rest of us have to dedicate real time and energy to "getting shit done." So my first suggestion would be treating your procrastination as a real problem that requires real effort to solve.

Most people are motivated by a desire to not disappoint, frustrate or anger people, whether that's others or themselves. Maybe start from there.

[Tiruin]

I have a slight problem. It's that I can't stop myself in cheating sometimes. I have a lot of school stuff to do online but I always end up doing something else. This gets me in trouble and I usually get a few days ban on doing non school stuff on my computer. And I can't stop. I know this is going to end badly but I keep on doing it. I just can't stop myself.and it's so stupid. Like I could've waited half an hour but no.

 Any advice?

I'm skipping from the OP ._. sorry because constrained time here!

Personal advice--take each action you do, at the same level of responsibility you think of your own actions; your actions impact and reinforce your perception, or in other words are how you interact with facing goals. This goes hand in hand with habit formation and the "how" you face things.

Personal advice--DISCARD the idea that there is a systematic scaling of 'to cheat' and 'to not cheat', like 'Oh it's a highschool test, I can let this slip...'. Don't go into this. Your actions are how you face and solve things, and in the linear timespan of a day, there are better alternatives that preferring to 'seek answers from others' papers', like practicing and reinforcing one's own memory and seeking of knowledge. The thing with habit formation is that it is mostly learned, and can be conditioned to learn otherwise, which goes hand-in-hand with motivation and encouragement.

And notably: Your language also reflects, in a way, your thinking. I may be coming off as silly because of me seeing everything as literal (in my tired state as of now), but these words also have impact: "Can't, No, Always, Never". As words convey meaning, it'd help to also look after the words you use in describing your situation While you can acknowledge what's going on, this is a process of development that'll help you a lot more if practiced with awareness.

Some people are lucky and skate by on natural ability. The rest of us have to dedicate real time and energy to "getting shit done." So my first suggestion would be treating your procrastination as a real problem that requires real effort to solve.

And an example of that personal effort is seen in many of the posts above--an example underlying nenjin's suggestion. Though I could elaborate that this is LESS of 'natural vs learned', and more of 'how one personally works with their thoughts', because this is usually the place where they are the first to face/plan everything in life, by going on the ideas coming from what they sense, and put into mind.

Buy a whip. Punish your weak flesh when you fail to meet the standards.

Whip it good

Whip it bloody

Figuratively.