NEXT TURN INCOMING!
Before you can do anything, you need to take care of a few meta-ish actions.count actions of post after next as a 6
Explain the damn magic system
Automatically roll 1 on the next five actions.
[6]
The actions of the post after next will be counted as sevens! Wait, what? That caused an integer overload! Now they're all ones![5]
You handily explain the magic system!"Magic," as in, the percentage value, is a resource used to cast standard spells. Fireballs, thunder, poison mist, summoning, etc. all rely on magic. Manna is similar to chi energy from dragon ball, and can be used for pseudo-magical effects (called focused powers) which generally include strengthening yourself, launching blasts of manna, channeling inner strength, self-healing, etc. (although magic can be used for that last one) Life can be sacrificed to cast blood magic, which is powerful and can do just about anything, but drains life. Also, you have to outright state that something is blood magic. Mantra are a special magical technique which require no life, magic or manna to cast, and you only have to say the magic words and hope it works. They tend to backfire on anything but a 4 or 5, and may not really work on a 4, and even with a 5 they can be quite weak![5]
(damn. There's no way I can twist that the wrong way.)
Your next 5 actions will be automatic 1's!Allow ironsnake345 To Tell you what to do.
Avoid Harming ironsnake345.
Do NOT Go Genocide Route On Hell.
Do NOT Gain Meta Powers
Do NOT Kick ironsnake345 345 times.
[auto 1]
That fool whose account you have hacked will never tell you what to do, and you'll never listen! Still, everything you do turns out how it turns out. Nobody ever told you to blow yourself up![auto 1]
You decide to send ironsnake a little "care package," and drop a tiny shoggoth into a box and send it his way. That'll be fun![auto 1]
The spirit of a dead and exquisitely evil child possesses you! You are filled with life, determination, and bloodlust! Time to wreck some ASS!!! (full heal. Lucky you!)
[auto 1]
You gain the meta power to see opponent's life, magic, manna, and other relevant stats![autoooo0000ooonnnee33339310oiwjslowksfo]
Determined to fail at your attempt NOT to kick ironsnake, you shatter four walls of reality streaking straight towards him, but there is a fifth which won't even budge! No matter how hard you strike, you cannot pass the fifth wall and assault ironsnake! It's as though the wall is made of the forum itself!
You're not sure what glitched out the roll, but that's a scary thought. What if other rolls suddenly glitch out on you?Troll your creator by allowing yourself to post one action which will ALWAYS succeed each turn, until the end of the game.
Explode all 1s and 6s into another roll determining just how bad/good things go for the rest of the turn.
[auto 7==>1]
You decide not to do any trolling, and give your creator a pat on the back from beyond the fifth wall. Or perhaps it's just the edge of the fourth wall? Whatever.[auto 7==>1]
You implode all 1s and 6s into absolute, unshakable epic fails and overshots respectively, which no roll will affect how much it exceeds or undershoots!Right then, back to business!
Explode trees by screaming at them
You would do that, but you've already exploded all the trees! What part of thermonuclear did you not get when you posted that action before the GM wrote that word in?Keep your guard up! Carelessness will find no clemency in this place!
Oh, good idea![5]
You mentally prepare yourself as best you can, with your guard in place and you're ready to roll! Nothing could surprise you now! (this will have an effect on the outcome of future actions)
start exploring!
[4]
You begin exploring the dungeon, dodge a trap, and encounter a guarded treasure chest! You are now in combat with a horned demon.roll a 6-sided die in order to determine how successful your entire next turn will be.
[3]
You throw a die and intone a mantra of randomness! The mantra partially fails, and the first posted action of the next turn will match its roll.[first action posted to go in the next turn will be an automatic 4]
(This has already been posted by a certain poshguinfish. Yay, autoroll dominoes!)
Order (nicely) our horrors to defend us from our (Jimmy and us twitch curse voices) enemies (that aren't ourselves or the twitch curse (unless some of the horrors are mind-controlled into trying to harm us or otherwise become our enemies; they can be attacked)).
[1]
You command the horrors as rudely as possible, and they tell you to F*** off! They were already summoned as obedient, so they would've done that anyway probably, but now they're not so happy with you!Dance a jig to celebrate your resumed existence.
[3]
You're quite happy to still exist, but you decide against the jig. There's a demon in the room, after all!The spirit of the evil child whispers something to you!Heh heh heh. Look at this pitiful thing. It thinks it can hurt you. How cute. Make sure there's nothing left to bury!Life:100%. Magic:35%. Manna:80% Inventory: pants, sword, Buffalo-drawn cart, fake arms, laptop. Companions: obedient werefrog, water buffalo, pile of semi-obedient (but passive-aggressively angry) eldritch horrors, spirit of an evil child. Location: Hell fortress, horned demon room
You are in combat with a horned demon.