THE QUEST FOR BROMEDES… HERE, THERE…
Turn 3.7
”…So,” summarises Ringo Starr, unless anyone’s forgotten in the last six weeks and doesn’t want to re-read the last turn because I’ve done it for you,
”Let’s totally go and crush this meese tyranny for their own good! Yeah!”"Whoa. That's, like... a powerful message, sir," agrees Jarvis,
"I'm with you, Mr. Cond- uh, Mr. Narrator!"Richard, however, is less sure!
"I don't know, mister conductor man. It seems awfully unpatriotic for us outsiders to decide how these meeses should wage their wars. It's like, their land and their culture, man. Who are you to say how they should do things on their own turf?""Um, wouldn't, um, liberating them from, um, sacrificing each other look an awful lot like raiding them to sacrifice? I mean, for the whole attacking them thing," ums Edith, before having a thought,
"I guess we wouldn't sacrifice them if we won?"”Er. Well. I didn’t, um, having any specific like, plans for after winning? Or something?”"...w-would they sacrifice us if they won?"”Absolutely. They’re barbarians, dude!””Um?"”Er?""Uhuh."
And so it was that, democracy getting the better of Jarvis’s bloodthirsty liberationy urges, the three Yogakas find themselves, some several moments later, riding into glorious battle on the backs of a herd of meese. Not for liberation from tyranny, but for patriotism and sacrifice! The meese are swift- and sure-footed, and pad silently through the tundric snow, in and out of the trees, over shallow rising hills and across frozen streams, here and there with a satisfying crunch. It’s possible that one or two of the students drift off to sleep at some point, as the miles seem to float by as if in a dream. A dream where you’re not really sure what you’re doing, or why, and you cling tightly to the battle-ready sharpened antlers of a bloodthirsty meese, with red in his eyes and cold burning anger in his heart and teeth and whiteness all around.
But the hours do pass, real hours, with real cold fingers, except for Edith who has been partnered up with a lovely female meese with lovely soft meese hair for her to grip. She likes to think perhaps the meese is called Janis, and she’s just about nearly built up the courage to ask Janis if she’s called Janis when the herd comes to a sliding stop on the snow.
”Moooooooooooo!” cries a meese at the front of the herd, and slowly the meeses carrying Richard and Jarvis and Edith bustle their way to the head of the herd. There is some soft and subtle mooing, and a meese gently nuzzles its nose into Jarvis’s neck, wetly and warmly.
”Mooo.”The herd and the Yogakas have stopped at a small pass between some low rocky hills on the tundra. It’s obvious that they must pass through, but the sad face of the meese nuzzling Jarvis seems to make it clear that they aren’t very keen on doing so.
”Do you think it’s because it’s… a bit quiet?"”Too quiet?""It’s like that film, dudes."”Or it could be something else?""Uh."The children must help the meese vanquish the rival meese in order to travel through time, but they are reluctant to traverse this small rocky mountain pass. Whatever will they do next?!
Begin mopping up sensei's blood. Hope for the best.
[1] Meanwhile, Fisk is still in the dojo with Sensei’s body, and Sensei’s copious quantities of blood. He’s a nice cleanly boy, at heart, so he looks about for a mop, and finds one in a cupboard, next to a glowing time travel portal. He starts mopping up the blood when suddenly there’s a loud knock on the door.
”Open up! It’s the police! We’ve had reports of a disturbance here. Open up or we’re going to bust down the door, fellas!”Fisk is so surprised he turns quicker than his blood soaked feet can support him, and he slips over. He slips a couple of times more as he gets back up. First he looks at the door across the room, and then he looks up and down himself. He is
covered in Sensei’s blood. Clothes, hands, shoes. Everywhere.
”We know you’re in there! Right, get the doorbuster, Jerry.”
Jarvis Palkin; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Critical (crit on a 6); King Pigeon Pose (groin tank)
Richard Wensley; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 4/4
Flexterity: 2/2
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Peacock Pose (inflict -1 init./chance of stun); Ocean Breath (regain 2YMP)
Fisk Balck; Yellow Belt
Mind: 2/6
Body: 2/2
Flexterity: 1/1
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Slap (add YMP to Attack); King Pigeon Pose (groin tank)
Edit McKenzie; Yellow Belt
Mind: 3/3
Body: 3/3
Flexterity: 3/3
Moves: Deep Breath (+2 defence); Basic Splits (double melee); Tree Pose (double counter); Yogic Critical (Crit on a 6); Total Yogic Critical (Crit on an enemy 1)
Er. So, like, my healthy new year has been going fairly well?