A YOGA DOJO IN A SMALL TOWN IN LATE TWENTIETH CENTURY AMERICA…
Turn 0aYogic Defense
[5] With a calm determined look on his face,
Limegreen boy opens this new Yogic Era by standing very hard in the corner of the room.
Screech and leap awkwardly into the air, performing a powerful Ashtanga yogic splits, directing my savage destructive energy towards Pink girl and Violet girl.
[5; 1vs3; 5vs2] Ignoring this admittedly powerful opening gambit,
Red boy emits a terrifying Yogic deathscreech, displaying his heroic martial artistry by seizing the initiative and unleashing his clumsy inner strength right in the faces of both
Pink girl and
Violet girl at once!
Pink girl, however, inadvertently ducks, throwing herself bravely in front of
Red boy before popping back up again like an angry Yogic seal. She's just in time to see
Violet girl, beginning to deploy a strident looking Tree Pose, reel from a violent foot to the chin.
Violet girl will use Tree Pose in preparation for a counterattack. She will remain still besides.
[4; 4+1vs3]
Violet girl looks quite severely damaged, but the inherent stable force of the Tree Pose enables her to riposte – she smacks the heel of her hand towards
Red boy's flying groin, barely missing, but instead catching him a solid blow to the gut, which looks like it hurts almost as much as her face does.
Dive in front of the Red boy and do tree-pose, counter-attacking anyone who tries to attack him or me.
Deciding that now or never is the best time to finally stop being awkward in front of boys,
Pink girl takes
Red boy's nearly-murderous splits as a Yogic Attraction Technique, and replies by doing a shy-yet-confident Tree Pose right back at him!
But noooo!
Violet girl looks interested in
Red boy too, so
Pink girl activates Tree Pose – to devastatingly amateurish effect! That is to say, it goes wrong!
[6; 4+1vs4; 1+1vs6; 2+1vs1] She succeeds in bravely defending
Red boy, smacking
Violet girl around the ear, and can't control her Yogic instincts well enough yet to stop herself from also retaliating at
Red boy, her new found crush and protectee. Whoops - but she completely misses, and then, realising she just attacked him by mistake, aims a blow at her own ear in penance!
Reduced to Zero Yogic Hit Points,
Pink girl therefore smacks herself unconscious, but, rendering someone unconscious being one of the best ways to regenerate Yogic force, immediately revives herself back to One Yogic Hit Point!
Total Yoga!
"Punchbackius Hitreallyhardium!"She is just in time to see
Violet girl, in Tree Pose, and therefore poised to counter-attack her, spinning on her heels quite dramatically and throwing her fist right into
Pink girl's throat.
[4+1vs1]
Pink girl collapses unconscious to the floor and has difficulties breathing!
Violet girl regenerates a bonus Yogic Hit Point!
Pink girl is outsorrySplits, and attack Teal and Tomato.
[5; 2vs5; 6vs4] Meanwhile, far from the calmness of the bottom left of the dojo, and the violent murder of the bottom middle-right, the students immediately in front of sensei spring into action in quite an impressive, or at least enthusiastic display of their new art. They perhaps sense the chance to grab sensei's eye, in the figurative sense.
With considerable mastery,
Orange boy does the splits, but is dodged by
Teal boy. A satisfying crunch comes from
Tomato boy's nose, however!
"I can't lose this," shouts
Tomato boy, filling with righteous (and, it turns out, democratic) anger,
"because I'm not a dirty commie. Democracy will prevail."Yes!
Tomato boy is manoeuvring into Tree Pose, and he's about to unleash his inner tree!
[1; 5+1vs2] But no! As he moves his arms upwards, he absent-mindedly lets go of his trouser waist, which he'd been holding up discreetly for the last ten minutes, because his trousers (that's pants if you are not British, and certainly not pants if you are) (there may well be other anglophone countries that call trousers trousers, but I'm not on expert on the subject, so I apologise if my linguistic note is not fully inclusive – I mean no offence) are far too big for him! They slip down to his ankles, revealing his bare knees!
Tomato boy hurriedly smashes a clenched fist into
Orange boy's skull, all but smashing it apart. It looks like you can see bits inside it, but it's hard to tell.
Orange boy looks tremendously dazed.
Come on baby, let's do the Splits at Tomato and Orange. No moves yet.
Before
Tomato boy can bend to pull his trousers up – which he hopes to immediately do to avoid the burning shame he can feel creeping upwards from his toes –
Teal boy's foot comes flying towards both him and
Orange boy in a blur.
[4; 4vs4; 3vs6] But, perhaps secretly giggling at the partially naked fate of his opponent,
Teal boy does not manage to connect with either foot. As he lands he tries to avoid looking towards sensei, feeling a little disappointed with himself, before turning to see if that's really
Tomato boy's underpands.
It is!
I perform the tree pose, counterattacking the first two people who attack me (if it works). I don't move from where I am.
[1;2+1vs6] Caught between counter-attacking
Teal boy and pulling up his trousers,
Tomato boy half-heartedly tries, but completely misses his attacker, so quickly takes the opportunity to get dressed. He bends down, reaches the waist of his trousers, pulls... But doing so provokes an attack of dressed-undressed state changing opportunity!
[6vs6;3vs1] The surprisingly-alert-for-a-boy-bleeding-from-the-skull
Orange boy quickly gets a crude knee towards
Tomato boy, but falls off balance, and collapses to the floor, panting hard. And then the disappointed
Teal boy sees his chance for redemption, wolloping a foot into
Tomato boy's backside, and sending him, in turn, crashing to the ground, where he smashes his face off the hard dojo floor!
He looks quite seriously hurt!
Take The Deep Breath, and move to Space Middle 5.
[4]Meanwhile, at the left of the dojo, a faint gulp is heard, and
Green girl moves forwards into the middle, and sits, outwardly calmly, down.
"Ommm........."
Space Top 1; Tomato boy (1/5 HP) ; Teal boy (5/5 HP) ; Orange boy (1/5 HP) ; Space Top 5
Space Middle 1; Space Middle 2 ; Green girl (5/5 HP) ; Violet girl (2/5 HP) ; Space Middle 5
Space Bottom 1 ; Limegreen boy (5/5 HP) ; Pink girl (0/5 HP) ; Red boy (3/5 HP) ; Space Bottom 5
Any queries, please ask. The full motion whir of violent Yoga can be hard to follow for the uninitiated, especially if the person describing it is not feeling on top form even despite the morale-boosting imagery of flaming nudists that IronyOwl attempted (thank you)
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Topic: SPACETIME YOGAQUEST - Turn 3.7 - update 16th Feb (Read 27638 times)