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[TheBiggerFish]

Something I actually own would be nice.

[Twinwolf]

We don't know what you own though.

[TheBiggerFish]

Yeah, which is why I asked about Exploding Kittens.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

so
shipping analysis:
- one old man
- another middle-aged man
- mostly people around their twenties
- only a few actual teenagers

what the fuck
i thought this was supposed to be a teenage game
anyway

- teenage pairings are probably going to need either one yaoi, two threesomes or one yuri and two yaoi
- best pairings i can think of are kyle/victoria and daisuke/kisa
- the rest of you guys in your twenties, definitely yaoi
- not pairing jake, that's creepy because everyone there is young enough to be his kid
- same with dj, i'm not that obsessed with shipping

[Twinwolf]

You're going to be getting another teenage girl when I get to making my sheet.

[TheBiggerFish]

There's going to be at least one other teenager on top of Twinwolf's.

[Shadestyle]

The completed character sheet. Behold.

Spoiler: We da' best. (click to show/hide)

Name: DJ Hakeem
Age: 40
Sex: Male

Appearance: DJ Hakeem is a heavyset man of Arabic ancestry. His hair is mostly shaved leaving only a thin, dark pattern on his skull. He wears a thick goatee. He only wears designer clothing so his typical wear is going to consist of something like a leather jacket, fur coat or a camo tee combined with jeans or basketball shorts, and of course 100% Authentic Jordans. Additionally, he coats himself in a liberal amount of "jurlee", including a few golden rings, several golden bands on his wrists along with a large diamond-studded watch on his right wrist, and numerous golden chains including a medallion he claims to be passed down among his family dating back to the days of the Persian Empire.

Mentality: When DJ Hakeem was younger, he was frequently teased for his weight, speech impediments and failures with everything from girls to card games. However, with years of dedication he eventually rose to stardom by becoming the DJ/Producer for many musical acts ranging in genre from Pop and Trance to Hip Hop and Metal. With his newfound success and popularity (particularly social media), Hakeem is committed to achieving even more success in music, card games and life.

Behavior: DJ Hakeem is always looking at the glass half-full and will offer encouragement to anyone struggling externally and/or internally. His advice and motivational speeches range from platitudes on life to what type of soap they should use. He strives for nothing else besides his own personal success and the success of his friends and family. Although he flaunts his wealth, he also practices generous philanthropy in getting those who lack resources things to improve their lives and help motivate them. He is quick to dismiss negative people and events in life which he refers to as "roadblocks".
Besides DJ'ing and playing card games, his hobbies include posting on social media, watering his plants, spending money and lounging.

Catchphrases:
"You smart. You loyal. You important."
"We da' best."
"Another one."

Stats:

Health: 5
Heart: 5
Tolerance: 3
Skill: 7
   
Phase Progression:
Beginning Turn Only: Mulligan - Player draws 3 cards from their deck, and can select any of the cards to be Mulliganed. Mulliganed cards are shuffled back into the deck, and the player draws cards equal to the amount that were Mulliganed. If the Player goes second, they draw 4 cards initially and receive an additional card, "The Coin", which costs 0 Mana and can be used to temporarily gain an additional 2 Mana one time.
1. Draw a card, Mana Crystals all fully restore and increase by 1 up to a maximum of 10.

Deck: See below.

   

Spoiler: Deck (click to show/hide)

Cogmaster x 2
Mana: 1
Effect - +2 Attack if you have a Mech on the board.
1 Attack / 2 Health
Annoy-O-Tron
Mana: 2
Effect - Divine Shield (The first time this Creature takes damage, it is negated), Taunt (The Player and other Friendly Creatures can not be targeted while this Creature is alive.)
1 Attack / 2 Health
Tribe: Mech
Mechwarper x 2
Mana: 2
Effect - All Mechs cost 1 fewer Mana.
2 Attack / 2 Health
Tribe: Mech
Shielded Minibot x2
Mana: 2
Effect - Divine Shield
2 Attack / 2 Health
Tribe: Mech
Equality
Mana: 2
Effect - Change all Creatures Health to 1.
Aldor Peacekeeper x2
Mana: 3
Effect - Battlecry: (Activates upon Summoning) Change an Enemy Creature's Attack to 1.
3 Attack / 3 Health
Harvest Golem x2
Mana: 3
Effect - Deathrattle: Summon a 2/1 Damaged Golem.
2 Attack / 3 Health
Tribe: Mech
Muster for Battle x2 - Spell
Mana: 3
Effect - Summon 3 1/1 Silver Hand Recruits and Equip a 1 Attack / 3 Durability Weapon
Gorillabot x 2
Mana: 3
Effect - Battlecry: Discover a Mech. (Discover: 3 Random cards of a certain Type appear, and the player chooses 1 to add to their Hand.)
3 Attack / 4 Health
Tribe: Mech
Big Game Hunter
Mana: 3
Effect - Battlecry: Kill a Creature with 7 Attack or greater.
4 Attack / 2 Health
Keeper of Uldaman x2
Mana: 4
Effect - Battlecry: Change a Creature's Stats to 3 Attack / 3 Health.
3 Attack / 4 Health
Piloted Shredder x2
Mana: 4
Effect - Deathrattle: (Activates upon death) Summon a random 2-Mana Minion.
4 Attack / 3 Health
Tribe: Mech
Mechanical Yeti
Mana: 4
Effect - Deathrattle: Each Player receives a random Spare Part Card in their hand. All Spare Parts are 1-Mana Spells.
4 Attack / 5 Health
Tribe: Mech

Spare Parts:
Armor Plating - Give a Creature +1 Health.
Whirling Blades - Give a Creature +1 Attack.
Emergency Coolant - Freeze a Creature. (Frozen Creatures can not act for 1 Turn.)
Finicky Cloakfield - Give a friendly Creature Stealth until your next turn. (Stealthed Creatures can not be targeted.)
Reversing Switch - Swap a Creature's Attack and Health Stats.
Rusty Horn - Give a Creature Taunt.
Time Rewinder - Return a Friendly Creature to your hand.
Arcane Nullifier X-21
Mana: 4
Effect: Taunt, Magical Resistance (Can not be targeted by Spells or Items)
2 Attack / 5 Health
Tribe: Mech
Antique Healbot
Mana: 5
Effect - Battlecry: Restore 8 Health to the Player.
3 Attack / 3 Health
Tribe: Mech
Clockwork Knight x2
Mana: 5
Effect - Battlecry: Give a friendly Mech +1 Attack/+1 Health.
5 Attack / 5 Health
Piloted Sky Golem x2
Mana: 6
Effect - Deathrattle: Summon a random 4-Mana Creature.
6 Attack / 4 Health
Tribe: Mech
Sylvanas Windrunner
Mana: 6
Effect - Deathrattle: Take control of an Enemy Creature.
5 Attack / 5 Health
Dr. Boom
Mana: 7
Effect - Battlecry: Summon 2 1/1 Boombots. WARNING: Boombots may explode.
7 Attack / 7 Health

Boombots
Mana: 1
Effect - Deathrattle: Explode on a random Enemy for 1-4 Damage.
1 Attack/ 1 Health
Tribe: Mech
Sneed's Old Shredder
Mana: 8
Effect - Deathrattle: Summon a random Legendary Creature.
5 Attack / 7 Health
Tribe: Mech

DR. SEVEN YACK.... approved.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on either, all these old people, Yack.

[TCM]

you don't need to ship DJ Hakeem
he's going to wait for a girl who is smart
who is loyal
who not gonna stop cuz she cant stop dont even know what stoppin is becuz we goin all the way to the top

[TheBiggerFish]

Actually, would D&D be a game that could be used?

[kj1225]

so
shipping analysis:
- one old man
- another middle-aged man
- mostly people around their twenties
- only a few actual teenagers

what the fuck
i thought this was supposed to be a teenage game
anyway

- teenage pairings are probably going to need either one yaoi, two threesomes or one yuri and two yaoi
- best pairings i can think of are kyle/victoria and daisuke/kisa
- the rest of you guys in your twenties, definitely yaoi
- not pairing jake, that's creepy because everyone there is young enough to be his kid
- same with dj, i'm not that obsessed with shipping

You forgot gardevoir.

[TheBiggerFish]

Actually, would D&D be a game that could be used?

Or, any sort of tabletop RPG for that matter.

[Nakéen]

Jake has no need for an impure man/woman, when he can ship himself with his cards all the way.

[Shadestyle]

Fuck no TBF, we aren't going down that train of thought.

[TheBiggerFish]

Fuck no TBF, we aren't going down that train of thought.

Wat.

[Twinwolf]

D&D is not a card game or toy game.