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[Adragis]

You are the beard of Urist McFisherman, a migrant to the fortress.
The sentient, parasitic beard of Urist McFisherman.
Your strands are yet shallow, and you are weak. Merely a goatee among the bushy beards of the original settlers.
But you know that, given time, you shall grow. You shall grow and become strong.
But beards are fickle creatures, and your bretheren are trying to establish their dominance as well.
The Battle of the Beards has begun, and the fortress of Hairymurder is about to earn its name. Or not.
Go ye forth and become the one.
The only.
Top Beard.

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

Attached to Urist McFisherman.
Uninjured.
A measly goatee.
Probably needs to unshave themselves.

[Liber celi]

We need fatty acids and essential vitamins to grow in power and thickness!

Direct Urist to resume fishing immediately, before any overseer can stop him!

[Gwolfski]

Especially for carp!

[Adragis]

A simple task, given that Urist is already fishing.
You do try and motivate him with a bit of rustling and splendor, but you can't speak and besides, Urist is a sensible yet heretical fellow who would rather shave than talk to his beard. The thought of someday establishing a hold on Urist's mind is a pleasant one.
But for now, he fishes.

At length, and with an armful of dead fish (no carp, sadly), your host begins to return to the fortress, a simple affair tunnelled into the side of a small hill due to an incompetent player the leader's fear of heights.
After dropping off his fish, he goes on break and takes a seat in the dining hall, ready to eat his fill of carp that showoff Bokor McBetterFisherman beat to death with his bare hands.
A few other dwarves, all with their own beards, are in the hall with him.

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

Attached to Urist McFisherman
Uninjured
A measly goatee, albeit one that's receiving good care
Probably needs to do reconnaissance

[DreamerGhost]

See if we can snach some delicious booze from Urist's mug.

[Liber celi]

Seconded, those B vitamins are good for the roots.

While doing so, listen to the meeting hall gossip!

I wonder, if Urist happens to get jailed for a few months, would he have to just let us grow rank?
Or would he just start chewing on us in boredom?

[Adragis]

By cleverly pulling at his lip, you manage to make Urist drink a bit too sloppily and get beer in his beard (it's a beer-d, get it?).
Absorbing the beer, you discover several things. One, cabbage spirits are not something that should exist. Two, you still like it anyway. And three, Urist is oblivious to his goatee tugging at his lip.

The meeting hall gossip is mostly mundane. Dwarves comparing feats of strength and their bookkeeping skills. Dwarves comparing their bedrooms. Dwarves disagreeing. Dwarves discussing beard care techniques. Dwarv- ooh.

Possibly something to focus on, unless interior design is your forte.

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

Attached to Urist McFisherman
Uninjured
Mildly Tipsy, However That Works
Probably Flammable, who knows?
Unlikely to be Mistaken for an Elf

[MidnightJaguar]

Listen to the beard care tips.

[StrawBarrel]

Listen to the beard care tips.

+1

[Demonic Spoon]

Listen to the beard care tips.

+1

+1

[NRDL]

Listen to the beard care tips.

+1

+1

+1

[Funk]

Listen to the beard care tips.

+1

+1

+1

+1

[NJW2000]

Grow tendrils toward's Urist's brain. In a cool , devilish elongated goatee way, not muttonchops.

[Gwolfski]

Grow tendrils toward's Urist's brain. In a cool , devilish elongated goatee way, not muttonchops.

+1