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[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

In the sprit of the "what's going on" series of threads, I start this one: essentially "What's going on in your worlds' libraries?" Also accepted are dorf-written and adventurer-written books.

Funny books, creepy books, books that make no sense (untitled, and with no content? you've been ripped off, urist, that's a blank page!), and books that make TOO MUCH SENSE TO HAVE BEEN RANDOMLY GENNED. ITS A CONSPIRACY MAN.

Spoiler: why here? (click to show/hide)

I choose to put this in the General Discussion thread, because there is no forum for "looking through the tomes of legend." There's vaguely related threads, perhaps, in the Gameplay boards (dorf mode and adv mode), but they're not quite right for this. Indeed, dwarves and adventurers can write books, but to put it in one of those boards would be to only allow for one of the three kinds of getting books. I want this to be for everyone.

So! To start this thread:

"The Center Came Full Circle was a legendary impala parchment scroll. Written on the item is a manual entitled The Center Came Full Circle, authored by Ustuth Smithink. It concerns the theory that the world moves around the sun. Overall, the prose is passable.

In the late winter of 249, The Center Came Full Circle was created in Portaltorrid by the dwarf Ustuth Smithink.

In the late winter of 249, The Center Came Full Circle was stored in Portaltorrid by the dwarf Ustuth Smithink."

Now, I know that "came full circle" is a random bit of text from a file. But I'm going out on a limb here: I'm going to suggest, that like every astronomer ever in the history of astronomy except for in recent times, Ustuth thought that the celestial bodies moved in circles. Perfect circles. Mathematical circles. Orderly circles. How dwarvenly.

So he slipped a pun into the title then. Either that, or it's a reference to epicycles. In that case, those dwarves are even smarter than I thought.

Edit: I just realized something. He wrote it IN WINTER. If the orbit of the planet starts at the new year, the planet is about to come FULL CIRCLE. I applaud you, Ustuth, for making a TRIPLE PUN. This cannot be random.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

"The Rising Of The Sun And Other Travesties," a 99 page manual authored by Pevo Wealthyisland, concerning the rise of the sun according to the season.

"Reproduction: Before And After," a manual authored by Ingiz Bodiceheathers, concerning the reproductive behavior of creatures.

"It Is Anatomies," a manual authored by Uvash Scarletdoor, concering the comparison of the anatomies of creatures. (Very sad, for some reason, but with masterful prose.) I haves the goodest grammares.

"Understanding The Meaning," a book on etymology. Very straightforward title.

"The Goblin Might Help," a vicious essay on the goblin Asno Delightmonster settling in Wraithbells. On the other hand, it probably won't. What it will do is violently eviscerate you.

"Master of the Moon and Tides," a manual about the relationship between the moon and the tides. I thought it was about how to control the moon and therefore the tides, boohoo.

"Can the Moving World Save the World?", a manual about the world moving around the sun. Included for the sheer mindfuckery of the title.

"The Gutter And The Universe," a lost chronicle with five chapters, the first of which describes the foundation of Horrorumbra, and the subsequent chapters each describing one goblin settling there. Good title, makes me think about a stargazing drunk lying in the gutter.

"Surveying in the Age of Myth," a codex on the process of surveying land. Written by an elf, who was presumably trying to remove said myth and get to the FACTS behind everything. Awesome Awemindadi guy. (That's Cacame's middle name, I think. Or last.)

Untitled: There's one in every library. It sucks. No title, no subject, just Tar Spikeswhisky (what a suspicious name, don't drink whiskey with him) tenderly discussing whatever's on his mind for two pages. I think it's just a letter, honestly.

[MobRules]

The favorite one I've gotten so far was titled "The Unabridged Nothing".

My current fort doesn't get any codexes or scrolls in the caravans, and no one writes anything. My last fort I was drowning in books, now, not so much.

[Kumquat]

"Journey to The Stars"

Sadly, it was about making star charts. Although for most dorfs that might as well be science fiction.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

"Reproduction in Practice", a guide to (animal) reproduction. Written by the only human scholar who came to visit. (She then stole a book about dancing, so I banned all non-citizens)

And of course "Sabers and the Split Labyrinth", which is put on a shelf right next to Reproduction in Practice, on the other side of the library from the other books. It's a vicious short story.
This one was carried to my fortress by a "besieging" group of goblins, armed with books and instruments.


Another title I liked was "Hardness and Other Topics", a book purely about the hardness of stones. It was written by my cave-in expert, who got his leg crushed in the first year of my fortress but healed perfectly fine. I decided to make him a scholar in the hope of having him spend more time with his lover, the head researcher.

And the dwarven caravan always bring a bunch of books titled "Guide to a Better Mountain Home". It's about a different mountain home, and is full of praise. I assume that this other mountain home just wants to taunt me, and somehow they have prevented anyone else's books from being sent to my fortress.

[King Kitteh]

While cheeking the goods in a Dwarven Caravan I found this scroll called "Musings on the Mountain Home".

Intrigued I looked at it and found this.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Apparently some guy asked to be an apprentice of this scholar. The scholar, denied the apprentice, but not only that, being the jerky jerkface he is. He decided to write an essay about it, relentlessly gushing about how he didn't give him an apprenticeship.

Also the essay is amateurish at best which leads me to believe he is in fact mocking the poor apprentice's incompetence.

Worse still, someone deemed this essay good enough to warrant copying it to spread this poor dwarf's humility. And now a Caravan, deeming it comedy gold, has attempted to sell it to me.


Dwarves can be real assh*les, huh?

[vjmdhzgr]

I made a fortress in a 5 year world to just test a mod feature, but ended up keeping it. 5 years in now and my fortress has the only seven books (only three originals) in the world.
So of course they're all about my own fortress.

"Written on the item is a guide entitled The Mountain Halls Within Reason, authored by Enur Soakedsplatter. It concerns the fortress Embracedabbey. The writing is throughout ornate and refined. Overall, the prose is passable."

"Written on the item is an essay entitled The Mountainhome: A Brief Introduction, authored by Ubas Savageclap. It concerns the settling of the dwarf Ubas Savageclap in Embracedabbey in the early spring of 7. The writing is quite self-indulgent and it has poorly-executed humor. Overall, the prose is not awful, but not very good either."

"Written on the item is a chronicle entitled Introduction to the Mountain Halls, authored by Inrus Spiraltick. It concerns the fortress Embracedabbey. Overall, the information is not compiled very well. The work has seven chapters."
The chapters are then listed for quite a while, I'll summarize them. Some merchants visit, a masterwook apple wood bed is made, some other dwarf moves in, another dwarf becomes a leatherworker, a masterwork willow splint is made, a masterwork granite door is made, and finally another masterwork granite door is made.

[Atian the Elephantman God]

"Unusual Renowned Fellowship was a legendary quartzite-bound codex. The portion consists of a 186 page chronicle, authored by the dwarf necromancer Geshud Chantgolds. It concerns The Renowned Fellowship, the work has two chapters. The first chapter covers the dispute between The Coalition of Chanting of Puzzledplot and The Renowned Fellowship of Kingdomspeeked over water rights in the late winter of 5. The second chapter covers the construction of the Lyrical Larks in Kingdomspeeked by The Renowned Fellowship of The Confederation of Ears in 22."

"In the Early Winter of 81, "Trade: Natural or Supernatural?" was created in Roastplank by the dwarf Urist Tunnellance."

"In the early spring of 89, "Do You Know The Author?" was created in  Tiplearns by the dwarf necromancer Kulet Bandrack."

And my personal favorite

"In the early summer of 1016, "April Fools" was created in Foolstore by the dwarf Atian the Elephantman"

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

THAT LAST ONE IS FA -

*facepalm*

You even "hid" the word April Fools inside of the April Fools joke.

-----

I made a fortress in a 5 year world to just test a mod feature, but ended up keeping it. 5 years in now and my fortress has the only seven books (only three originals) in the world.
So of course they're all about my own fortress.

"Written on the item is a guide entitled The Mountain Halls Within Reason, authored by Enur Soakedsplatter. It concerns the fortress Embracedabbey. The writing is throughout ornate and refined. Overall, the prose is passable."

"Written on the item is an essay entitled The Mountainhome: A Brief Introduction, authored by Ubas Savageclap. It concerns the settling of the dwarf Ubas Savageclap in Embracedabbey in the early spring of 7. The writing is quite self-indulgent and it has poorly-executed humor. Overall, the prose is not awful, but not very good either."

"Written on the item is a chronicle entitled Introduction to the Mountain Halls, authored by Inrus Spiraltick. It concerns the fortress Embracedabbey. Overall, the information is not compiled very well. The work has seven chapters."
The chapters are then listed for quite a while, I'll summarize them. Some merchants visit, a masterwook apple wood bed is made, some other dwarf moves in, another dwarf becomes a leatherworker, a masterwork willow splint is made, a masterwork granite door is made, and finally another masterwork granite door is made.

That last book sounds like my journal logs for DF. "And this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and WOW LOOK AT THAT, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened, and this boring thing happened."

[Evans]

Books in new games are just amazing.

I am honestly having trouble to stay in my fort instead of retiring it and going adventurer if only to bring back books to fort library.

Some names hit me right as outrageously fantastic.

Yesterday for example I found in legends:
"The book of Vast Amounts". Which was concerned with notation of very large numbers.
Is this really randomly generated? x_X

One of my all-time favorite  book however, the name which I wrote down to use later in my works was titled:
"At one with extinction". It concerned the extinction of species.

[wierd]

I have one about the amazing dwarven invention, the chariot odometer.

I'll post pictures later.

[Bumber]

Yesterday for example I found in legends:
"The book of Vast Amounts". Which was concerned with notation of very large numbers.
Is this really randomly generated? x_X

I'm pretty sure it's just "The Book of (Topic)", where "Vast Amounts" is the topic that concerns large numbers.

I've had a book called "Brideglaze without Limits" (Brideglaze was a hamlet, IIRC) so maybe you could get "Vast Amounts without Limits" if knowledge books share the same title set.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

But do you suppose that dwarves have invented limits? If they have - and they probably have, as they are superb engineers, and you can't design well without calculus - then you could have "Limits Without Limits".