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Author Topic: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)  (Read 11624 times)

Gwolfski

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #15 on: February 14, 2016, 08:47:37 am »

tame boar, attacth endtable and go to the world! Stick some point elf arrows in there somewhere!
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MidnightJaguar

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #16 on: February 14, 2016, 10:50:27 am »

Attempt to tame the the boar to the point where we can ride on it.
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23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

Robot Parade Leader

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #17 on: February 14, 2016, 12:17:25 pm »

The large handsome boar seems to have taken a liking to you, or at least your cuisine. He moves his sniffing snout to your endtable where the bugcakes are and sniffs at the drawer. Seeing this, you open the drawer manage to get them out, but not before he scarfs down 3 whole bugcakes. You aren't sure what a pig looks like when it's happy, but maybe its this? He seems a content pig and doesn't appear to mind much of anything. He really seems to like those bugcakes and doesn't seem to be looking for much of anything else. He lays down on his stomach.

In any event, you eventually try to get on top of him, and he turns his head to look at you somewhat questioningly, but thankfully does not seem to do anything about you being on top of his back. There are some oinking grunts coming from under you but that's about it really. This goes on for some time until he eventually gets up on all fours and starts walking nowhere in particular, just around, but not more than 10 ft from where you were. He sniffs the once in a while.

You're unsure what would happen if you got off, and the idea of somehow attaching the end table to this big pig seems to float through your mind, but you have no idea how you'd manage that at present. Another oink from down there, but who knows why. There he is standing there with you on his back, not seeming to care....

Yes, you are sitting on a big boar.... Is he tamed? He hasn't thrown you off yet. :)

Items gained:
-3 bugcakes (eaten by large handsome pig with the pretty warts you are now sitting on)

Skills gained:
1 Animal Handler



What do you do?
« Last Edit: February 14, 2016, 12:30:03 pm by Robot Parade Leader »
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MidnightJaguar

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #18 on: February 14, 2016, 01:51:32 pm »

Impale a bugcake on our pointy stick and try to lead the boar around with it.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2016, 02:02:33 pm by MidnightJaguar »
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23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

Robot Parade Leader

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #19 on: February 14, 2016, 02:07:48 pm »

You manage to get off the large boar with only minor oinking and perhaps complaining from him. This does seem to cease once he smells another bugcake, which you manage to poke the stick through. His attention is focused on that bugcake and with him distracted, you manage to get up on top again. You are now sitting on top of this large boar, in all his glory.

He seems to be slowly walking after the bug cake in whatever direction you happen to be going.


Item Lost:
1 Bugcake

Item Gained:
1 Stick with a bugcake stuck on it.

What do you do?
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MidnightJaguar

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #20 on: February 14, 2016, 02:17:59 pm »

We head West, for we are sure to impress our relatives with our taming prowess.
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23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

Dustan Hache

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #21 on: February 14, 2016, 03:05:40 pm »

Just remember to watch out for robes. horrid things that have tasty sausages and spray fire at anything that moves.
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helmacon

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #22 on: February 14, 2016, 04:24:52 pm »

Add a second bugcake to the stick to make the boar go faster.
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Lidku

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2016, 05:06:00 pm »

We head West, for we are sure to impress our relatives with our taming prowess.

+1

Add a second bugcake to the stick to make the boar go faster.

+1
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Gwolfski

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #24 on: February 15, 2016, 05:48:06 am »

find vines as you travel
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Robot Parade Leader

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #25 on: February 15, 2016, 08:42:23 pm »

You impale a second bugcake on your thick pointy stick. The large boar you are riding on does not seem to pick up the pace appreciatively, but seems to move all the same. He stopped for a second when you pulled the stick in to place another cake on it, but began again once the stick and bugcakes appeared in front of him again....

You point the stick, and also the boar, in the general direction of west, where the sun tends to set, and you last remember goblins being. You've been alone for quite some time, living in a place where bugs are quite plentiful and (until recently) nobody bothered you. Seeing as that last part is no longer true, you set out.

A stream in the journey:
With no road, you travel through the underbrush, and the boar seems to be making good time. The ride and terrain are bumpy. You come across a stream, which your boar refuses to cross; you imagine because it would wash away the lovely layer of mud he has painstakingly applied somehow, but seeing as he doesn't talk.... Luckily, there is a shallow area that does not get more than his hooves wet and he crosses there with little complaint beyond some oinks.

You have yet to find any vines, but you are on the lookout for them and should you see some, or something like them, then you will surely grab them. There is a ton of undergrowth and most of that is green plant matter, but there are some reeds if you'd like to get some of those. Maybe your luck will change later on and find proper vines then (in a pine forest but yeah).

A not so lovely pair:
However, once you get across the stream things go potentially slightly less well. You see a pair of reddish, but fairly small orcs beating the ever-loving daylights out of ... something. You're not quite sure what it is from this distance (50 ft unnoticed behind forest trees), but it certainly is bloody, (and perhaps hairy with mats of blood in that fur / hair?) and appears to have two legs and two arms. It clearly had a spear, because that's broken on the ground nearby.

You immediately notice the following:

A - There are 2 sacks, seemingly orcish and crude, unattended by their owners within 15 ft of the orc beating session.
B - No one involved has noticed you yet.
C - You could theoretically engage the fairly small red orcs, but you're unsure if your mount is well trained enough to charge yet or how strong they are.
D - Those Orcs are using their fists, not weapons, though that doesn't mean they don't have weapons.


What do you do?
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MidnightJaguar

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #26 on: February 15, 2016, 08:58:59 pm »

Get off our mount and toss it a bug cake so that it follows us. Then, attempt to sneak up on the small red orcs. Once we sneak up on them attempt to incapacitate them using our club and pointy stick.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2016, 09:09:39 pm by MidnightJaguar »
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23:31:46 <pancaeks> "Today on mystery science with the eggheads: we created these sentient crystal people, now we're going to find out if they explode!"

MainPiston: Epilogue.

femmelf

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #27 on: February 16, 2016, 06:20:18 am »

I say steal their gear first and make sure we're between it and them, but yeah. Same as above, but also gear stealing.

That way they can't get us as easily with weapons if they are in the bags.
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Gwolfski

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #28 on: February 16, 2016, 02:14:31 pm »

+1
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Robot Parade Leader

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Re: You are a stupid, stupid goblin. Get in before it dies (SG)
« Reply #29 on: February 16, 2016, 03:12:10 pm »

You dismount your boar, letting him nibble a bit on part of a bugcake. He seems content to rest for a while after walking around for a bit.

You take their bags and move them a little ways away from where they were and hide them out of sight beneath some undergrowth. It's not perfectly hidden, but then you may question if it needs to be and answer no... or at least probably not.

From there you slowly approach and hear the orcish taunts and jeers. You understand most of it, but occasionally they slip into orcish for what you imagine is a certain bit of profanity or insult or something like that, judging from the context. Also, and unsurpisingly, there are orcish fists slamming into something held against a tree. It's not quite a lovely sight.

A hit:
You slowly come from behind one of them, the slightly taller, and slam your club as hard as you possibly can into his right leg. He is taken somewhat by surprise and falls over, off balance. The other smallish redish orc looks at you with surprise and anger, and after a second, so does the one on the ground.

What do you do?

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