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[TD1]

Alternatively, they could be the four bed-men of the apocalypse.

[hector13]

Alternatively, they could be the four bed-men of the apocalypse.

Four poster bed of the apocalypse, come on man.

[King Zultan]

So we defeat the mattress kings and summon the four poster bed of the apocalypse thus starting Mattressmageddon!

[TD1]

The Final Sleep of Mankind


But wait! The Four Poster Bed's arch-nemesis came with it!!

King Henry VIII, Destroyer of Early Modern Mattresses, has come! The hopes of mankind rest on his beefy shoulders.

[Il Palazzo]

his beefy shoulders.

Those shoulders betray him. He is, in fact, a mattress in disguise. I mean, just look at him.

[TD1]

Hey! Whether you like it or not, that is peak physical fitness.

[Il Palazzo]

What is? Being a square with spindly legs and dangly arms?
I suppose it's good for stacking.

[Frumple]

his beefy shoulders.

Those shoulders betray him. He is, in fact, a mattress in disguise. I mean, just look at him.

What... what is that thing in his hand not holding the knife? It looks like some kind of floppy medieval condom.

E: And he looks like someone that would be holding something like that while posing for a painting, just sayin'.

[hector13]

his beefy shoulders.

Those shoulders betray him. He is, in fact, a mattress in disguise. I mean, just look at him.

What... what is that thing in his hand not holding the knife? It looks like some kind of floppy medieval condom.

The artist didn’t think it would be a good idea to show him holding a sausage so changed it to something else.

Could be a hanky, or some kind of… leather thing.

[TD1]

I'll have you know it is the pillow-case of his latest vanquished foe.

[hector13]

Sleeping Mask of Power.

[Il Palazzo]

I especially like the protruding dick holster he's sporting.

What... what is that thing in his hand not holding the knife? It looks like some kind of floppy medieval condom.

Looks like a glove/gloves to me. Not necessarily for his dick.

[TamerVirus]

It was a turkey leg, but then CERN changed the timeline so now it’s riding gloves

[scriver]

I too think it's gloves

It's nice to know that Spongebob Squarepant's had royal inspiration in his design though!

While we're sharing images of vain kings let me share my favourite one of Gustav Vasa, landsfather of Sweden (allegedly):



If it seems like the legs are a strange fit to his bulbormous upper body then you have a good eye for photoshops, because he did indeed hate how his own legs looked/turned out and had the painter use one of his soldiers as model for them instead. They weren't royal looking enough you see. Lampshades, on the other hand. Now they are fucking royal looking.

[Rolan7]

Uuuuggh I stayed up late drinking with my west coast friend and now I'm violently hungover
This is what I get for cutting back on drinking, I guess
This suuuuucks but is a good sign probably but it suuuucks