I actually thought it was probably just a misaimed post, something for the terrible jokes thread or whatever, but... just in case, heh.
I hear you on the gifts thing, though. I've always been kinda' eh on it, and for the longest longest time I didn't really have the money or much in the way of interpersonal connections to give much, and haven't expected anything in... I'unno, ever or somethin'. Lately-ish I've been starting to dabble a little more. Gave a spice mix (plus recipe, for what little mixing together a couple different kinds of noodle seasoning counts as one) I'm fond of making to the person who taught me my current job, copy of the driving music to younger family, big ol' pile of OCRemix (32 gig flash drive, slam full -- pointedly, it's something with a copyright license usable in public work!) to a co-worker that'd lost a spouse and had to leave for elsewhere, stuff like that.
It's a weird thing to wrap your head around, and reciprocal gifting in general is just... no. Y'know? Gifting with an expectation to get something in return just feels off, same as being given something with the expectation to give something back. If there's strings and expectations and whatnot involved it's just not a gift anymore, yeah? "You don't have to give anything in return" was something emphasized a lot as I was growing up, both ways, and I guess it internalized really strongly. That feels right. You don't give with expectations or strings or when it's a financial/whatever burden, you give because you're able and you want to, and you give freely or you don't give.