Can relate, i also hate having to exist on some days. More specifically am i not keenly interested in having to exist on the next saturday, because we (as in me and nearest relatives) have to go to the confirmation (as in the christian thing) of one of my cousins daughters. Besides the fact that i'm not religious myself and mostly showing up out of politeness (i'm sorry christians but i would rather be sleeping), there's also the fact that it's early in the day (which is potentially bad for my bowels) and we have to dress up all fancy-like, i.e. have to go shopping for such clothes and possibly wear a stifling neck tie. All this, plus i'd be seen as an asshole if i don't pay attention to the rite at hand, so i can't just sit in church and draw things*. >.>
One good thing is that there's going to be some celebration afterwards, which might be neat if my bowels aren't freaking out. If they are, well, i'll have to contend with that plus my dislikes of large social gatherings and stiff formality.
so yeah i'd actually rather just send my well wishings remotely and stay at home
* And speaking of that, a secondary mild sad: I've found that i have a hard time actually relaxing while drawing. I still enjoy it for sure, but i almost always end up focusing intensely in the process and working at a very fast pace. It's really hard to just chill out and doodle absent-mindedly, even though i was totally able to do that as a wee lad. I get hung up on the "OKAY GOTTA DRAW SOMETHING NOW" train of thought, which quickly turns into "WHAT DRAW??" instead of doodles. It's not like i don't have a ton of ideas in my head, but they have to go through the notoriously impenetrable Anxiety Filter(tm) first, which, annoyingly, blocks out QUITE A FEW ideas. BLEH.