"... an' then the spinnin' serrated disc passes right over me 'ead! Took off 'alf me 'air, but that was okay, 'cos I needed an 'aircut!"
"Wotcher boys! What we talkin' about?"
"'ey Quosdub. Wese tellin' war stories."
"Oh, I say, that sound's loike a lark! Mind if I join in? Lemme tell yer the tale o' how oi managed to tame that cave dragon out there..."
"Oi was in the third cavern layer, huntin' fer meat. 'Cos oi'm a badass, y'know? Who hunts weasels an' goats on the surface? Wusses, that's who. Real goblin's hunt giant cave spiders in the caverns. An' oi certainly wasn't lookin' fer webs, not that there's anything wrong with that, someone's gotta bring in the silk, but that's not what I was doin' y' know?"
"Anyways, oi turn this corner an' there's this huuuge hunched over figure. It's too dark to make 'im out, so I creep closer an' closer, till I'm almost on 'im. Oi'm thinkin' it's a Jabberer, or maybe an oversized cave crocodile. Boy was I wrong!"
"'E turns an roars at me, this huge cave dragon that could swallow me whole, an' my liddle bone shiv... I hunt wif a bone shiv, that's what I hunt wif, so I can stab me prey wif me own two hands... me liddle bone shiv suddenly seems useless in me hands."
"I dodge 'is first lunge, an' 'is second, and try an' stab 'im in the side, but it doesn't do shit, cos it's a bone dagger, y'know? Y' seen those scales? Is like plate armour. E's a tough bugger 'e is, wot!"
"So I throws the dagger away, an' the next time 'e lunges at me, I PUNCH 'IM, punch 'im straight in the snout! An' 'e backs off an' looks at me with those big dumb eyes, loike, 'yer not supposed ta' do dat!" But 'e's still hungry an' angry, so 'e opens his mouth, an' 'e roars, right in me face. An' in that moment, lookin' right down inta 'is gullet as 'e roars at me, I know what I need ta' do."
"Ya seen the animal trainers at work? They feeds 'em meat, an' they go docile an let you move up close to 'em an' talk to 'em. It takes a while to truly trained 'em, but it all starts wif meat."
"So, I TEAR OFF ME OWN ARM! RRRIIIIPPPPP!"
[gasps]
"An I throw it, I throw it right inta' 'is gullet! An 'e's so shocked, 'e swallows before 'e even knows what happened!"
"An' I thought, 'oh, 'e's still hungry, 'e's gonna eat me anyway. But then, he kneels down in front 'o me, and nuzzles me, like 'more meat'. 'Gimme more meat.' Soes I lead 'im back to the pit, an' get some meat from the barrels. Everyone was so surprised, you shoulda seen the look on their faces!"
"An' we bin together ever since. The end."
"Hang on a sec. Summit doesn't add up. Youse still got both your arms."
"Well obviously I grew it back through sheer willpower. You got a problem wif that?"
"I'm... pretty sure arms don't work that way."
"Pff, not fer most people. But most people ain't as much of a badass as I am, wot wot?"
"Well..."
"I don't like ta' brag too much, y'know?"