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[HiddenEyes056]

Recently, while dealing with a series of silly events, one of the human bards comes up and taps the mayor of Lovewheels on the shoulder.

"Mr. Mayor," he says, "Suru Sluroxuku, Hamster Woman Bard is dead, completely drained of blood! And it was Mudi Aradcuro, Human Poet who did it!"
"Mr. Mayor," said a human bard and crossbowman, "We also witnessed Mudi's murder! It is convenient that all of us residents are crammed into shared rooms, otherwise we wouldn't have seen it!"

The mayor, who was asleep at the time, decided he would become the hammerer. The captain of the guard conveniently overheard the conversation and decided to imprison the offending poet. He realised, however, that dwarven justice basically doesn't exist in Lovewheels. So, instead, he downgraded the sentence to a hearty ass-kicking. The poet was humiliated, but got over it pretty swiftly. Including wounds inflicted, which vanished straight away.

Now I, overseer of great Lovewheels, need to find a way to dispose of the offending Vampire Poet. I've planned to force him into a small room, where he will be dropped into a sealed cavern along with a poison-blooded skinless crocodile monster. However, I've no clue how to force him into aforementioned chamber of poet removal.

In short, how do I force a long-term resident into a small room?

[TheBiggerFish]

That was really quite funny!

[Magnus]

Can you set tasks for him? Does he respect burrows or military orders? Or is he just a visitor? I don't know how the visitors work in the new version.

If you build a room and attach it to a Tavern via a certain menu it will become a Rented Room. I would guess that if this is the only room available then he will go there?

Unless he has a foolhardy personality he will flee from scary creatures such as goblins (but not undead, obviously). You could try to build something clever to scare him into a room where you want him. Certainly the dwarfiest solution.

Or, if you build a Jail it should be possible to frame him for a crime and send him there.

In any case, vampires are useful! He may not do much for you right now, but if you manage to get his blood into a well and get your dwarves to drink from it you will have a mighty army indeed.

[HiddenEyes056]

Can you set tasks for him? Does he respect burrows or military orders? Or is he just a visitor? I don't know how the visitors work in the new version.

If you build a room and attach it to a Tavern via a certain menu it will become a Rented Room. I would guess that if this is the only room available then he will go there?

Unless he has a foolhardy personality he will flee from scary creatures such as goblins (but not undead, obviously). You could try to build something clever to scare him into a room where you want him. Certainly the dwarfiest solution.

Or, if you build a Jail it should be possible to frame him for a crime and send him there.

In any case, vampires are useful! He may not do much for you right now, but if you manage to get his blood into a well and get your dwarves to drink from it you will have a mighty army indeed.

He is a long term resident, one of literal hundreds of the free-loading bastards lovely applicants to the Lovewheels Residency System.

He spends all of his time inside one of the tavern rooms, generally chatting up four to five other expendable entertaining poets and bards. I'm considering sealing all of them in and creating a drainage system to wash him and his pals down into the depths of the earth.

I would try and keep him for the general benefits vampirism can impart, but unfortunately he has made the mistake of killing a kind and beautiful soul: Suru, Hamster Woman Bard and Cutest Thing In The Fort.

He has ignored civilian alerts (but I might be doing it wrong, I'm hopeless with those), there are far too many other bards and guests piled into rooms for me to sucker him into one and I don't have anything scarier than a brook full of water to get him moving.

Know this, Bay Watchers! Mudi Aradcuro shall be washed away, or Lovewheels will accidentally drown! Probably the latter.

EDIT:
If I had any doubt about Mudi being a vampire ...

[martinuzz]

If it's a non resident visitor: visitors are an expendable rescource. Make a tavern where you want the vampire to go, make sure it's the only location that accepts visitors. Use a civilian alert to make sure your own dwarves won't go there, and make sure your military is either back to civilian, or stationed somewhere, so that they're not using it either. Securely lock it, let the FB in. Who cares about a few goblin bards and human poets. Acceptable collateral damage I'd say.

If it's a resident visitor: Make a room, assign it to the tavern (l)ocation, and also (a)ssign it to your vampire. You'll have to manually assign it, for a vampire will never claim a room on his own (room claiming for both tavern rooms as well as bedrooms is done when a sleep job is taken in an unassigned room. Vamps never sleep). Although just maybe, the game might assign him a free tavern room on save/reload.
Even though a vamp never sleeps, he should spend at least some of his free time there. If he does, lock the door, let the FB in. Note that artist and scholar residents do listen to civilian alerts, which can be helpful to get him to spend free time in his room (forbid tavern/library/temple)

If he's a full citizen visitor: build lever in suitable location. Set workshop profile to only allow vampie. Pull lever. Lock doors. let FB in.

[Killgoth]

I don't know how to corral him into a specific room, but if you have a militia you can just have them attack him outright. I had a human bard come visit, and while he was playing in my dining hall I noticed he was wearing dwarf hair and bone trinkets...my militia promptly hacked him to pieces while my peasants ate and drank.  I don't even know if he was vampire.

[martinuzz]

Probably not. I've had more than one visitor arrive wearing such things, and none of them are a vampire. I'm not sure if it's acceptable for human civs to just do that, or that it requires a human to be raised by a goblin civilization, but it doesn't nescessarily mean vampire.

[HiddenEyes056]

The vampire has been sealed in his tavern room. Along with two bards, a poet, a cavy boar and the cook who simply could have stood on the other side of the wall. Oh well, in his own words, "I do admire a fine trap."

Now to decide - wash them down the sink, or bring the beast up towards them? Washing them down would actually probably be easier ...


EDIT:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So, this guy showed up just before the opening of the greatest waterslide this side of the mountainhomes. What in the world is going on in my fort?

EDIT 2:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There he is! He's getting washed away by the water! Wait, where's the water going?


I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE

EDIT 3!!!:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He ... he was washed out of the failed waterslide ... and walked down into his burrow, right on top of the poet disposal bridge.

However, I fear my forgotten beast has found elsewhere to be. What with the other guy arriving. Let's just hope that the fact that the cavern layer is slowly filling with water will help out in some manner.

For reference, my heavily injured quadruped made of olivine from before was bitten in half by a voracious cave crawler.

E D I T N U M B E R F O U R:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HOW

ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

KEEEEL HEEEEM

[Wheeljack]

At this point, my vote goes to dismembering him with the military. He obviously cant appreciate the lengths you've gone through to give him a glorious death. Let him die like a flithy greenskin.

[HiddenEyes056]

At this point, my vote goes to dismembering him with the military. He obviously cant appreciate the lengths you've gone through to give him a glorious death. Let him die like a flithy greenskin.

KEEEEL HEEEEM

I hate to break it to you, fellas, but I tried that. The shady bastard doesn't even show up on my list of things I can force my dwarves to kill!

The good news is, I managed to throw him down the hole again (after several more tries), and then close the bridge, and then seal the passageway to the bridge ... he's now sitting down in the caverns next to the torrent of water pouring in, contemplating his mangled hand. Somehow he hasn't healed that off, despite having completely regenerated from all other wounds sustained in falling 5 z-levels several times.

[FantasticDorf]

Build a floor of grates, find a way to isolate said vampire (already mentioned suggestions) then dunk him into a smooth pit of water (i know vampires are amphibious but its a handy defence anyway) by timing it with mechanisms , the grates will prevent him from escaping, since 2x2 corridors of grates are a cosy size, build a bridge out of one of the surrounding walls and atomic smash him to remove both the water and vampire. Or alternatively dump lava through the grates/pump though a screw pump/Both (safe way to obsidianise said vampire in a stone tomb??)

Even if nothing else works, you now have your vamp in a pit he can't climb back out of (providing nothing switches it back open, or my logic is wrong/grates destroyed by something else)