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[IronyOwl]

Alright, it's working again.


It's working...!


WARRIOR SUMMONED: [Hacking Angel]

You did it! You can now summon minions to do your bidding.


You scan your-


Wow so much for that. Looks like it's gonna be one of those operations.

Replace 'Omega' at slot 10 with 'Apotheosis'. As Omega is also in slot 16.

Hit the thing until it things!

Code: [Select]

00
99 Obedient
98 Insane
97 Lancer
96 Aegis
95 Gunner
94 Fixer
93 Light
92 Dark
91 Time
90 Fire
89 Water
87 Laser
86 Plasma
85 Electricity
84 Forger
83 Melder
82 Dancer
81 Flyer
80 Paladin
79 Weaver
78 Omnipotent
77 Smart
76 Strong
75 Angelic
74 Unbreakable
73 Broken
72 Fool
71 Bard
70 Knight
69 Fat
68 Dead
67 Undead
66 Demonic
65 Tool
64 Bound
63 Artifact
62 Useful
61 Prophesied
60 Destiny
59 Necromantic
58 Pyromantic
57 Hydromantic
56 Elemental
55 Long
54 Functional
53 Utilitarian
52 Abusive
51 Abrasive
50 Heroic
49 Predetermination
48 Wood
47 Yew
46 Pleased
45 Stopped
44 Digital
43 Mender
42 Repairer
41 Hacker
40 Gamer
39 Druggy
38 Buggy
37 Alpha
36 Dwarf
35 Fortress
34 Goblins
33 !!ERROR!!
32 Troll
31 Contains
30 [BUILDINGDESTROYER]
29 Jumper
28 Phantom
27 Looter
26 Void
25 Stealth
24 Dragon
23 Fighter
22 Pacifier
21 Peace
20 Talker
19 Negotiator
18 Render
17 Battler
16 Omega
15 Strength
14 Weakness
13 Failure
12 Success
11 Gamma
10 Apotheosis
09 Flower
08 Smell
07 Toothbrush
06 Ancient
05 Sleet
04 Experience
03 Rake
02 Ambiguous
01 Expansion


Cmon you thing, gimme more soldiers and don't take six days this time.

[Electric Goblin]
!!WARNING!!
[Digital Pacifier]
[Expanding Goblin]
[Light Paladin]


Alright, you and your brainless battle mooks are ready to-

: "Greetings, Servitor. How may we be of assistance?"

: "Am I the leader? I get to be the leader, right?"

: "Just to clarify, is this an established deal or pioneer crap?"

"'Pioneer crap' means more loot for us, dingus."

: "'More loot for us' means 'enjoy all this work with no support,' jackass."

: "Please, stop fighting. Or I'll beat you both to death with my giant hammer."

"Does that ever actually calm people down?"

: "I'm new."

: "..."
Right. Now you remember how this goes.

GENERATE PLASMA LANCER HERO ALREADY, SWITCH TO NEW DUDE/DUDETTE, AND BEGIN ON DL1 ON THE WARRENS OF SOMETHING-OR-OTHER

THATS WHATS GONNA HAPPEN RIGHT

right

TH-THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS


SH-SHUT UP THESE THINGS HAPPEN

: "Isn't it weird how skills are physical items that-"

: "GOOD NEWS WARRIORS IMPORTANT MISSION EVERYONE OUT"



Uhhh... combat tutorial engaged, you suppose. Scanning...


SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT


So yeah slight plan adjustments required.

: "Servitor, what was that thing? What's happened here?"

: "You fuck."

: "You fucking fuck."

: "I assume we have a plan? Or... another door? Maybe a nice superweapon you forgot to tell us about?"

: "Everyone being so excited makes me want to beat them to death with a hammer. Is this useful Y/N?"

: "Allow me to explain."

Better think quick on this one.


So here's the situation: You're in charge of some emotional warriors that might or might not do what you want them to depending on how they feel at the time. The area immediately to at least one side of the ERROR

Everything is broken which is a problem. To fix it you'll need to wait for it to regenerate, which it should have been doing all along, or find some matter to help it along. You know, critter corpses.

The area immediately to one side of you either has a fluke wandering boss or is beyond fucked, as it currently holds some kind of harbinger of the apocalypse. If you're lucky, just that one side is borked. More likely, everything has gone completely to hell and you'll need to send runners through the rape zone to reach safer, easier to harvest and fortify regions. This is inconvenient and, more importantly, relies on blind dashing to reach hypothetical safe zones.

When things start going wrong without a clear line of retreat and recovery, they tend to go wrong really really deeply.

You also have a blank Soul Seed for some bizarre reason. Apparently that happens sometimes, instead of a proper warrior you just get a blank core. You can combine it with rare-ish drops to produce a custom-ish warrior.

Your current mission is kind of open-ended, but if things are this bad at the ERROR

IF THINGS ARE THIS BAD you are probably looking at a full, slow reclamation. If there's anything friendly or functioning out there, it's probably gonna be a suspiciously pleasant surprise. First order of business will probably entail cleansing and fortifying an area to use as a base, but that's up for discussion and subject to the whims of what's out there.

You have five bodies remaining and the thing to make more is busted. You can go with your goons in relative safety, but you wouldn't want to be reckless about it. You do not have any combat forms available.

Your minions are hideously weak ERROR

These scrubs need to git gud, which probably means they're going to die in the process. See note on emotional faffing about under arbitrary circumstances.

You have a map of the ship, so you know at least the basics of what you might find where. No, really, you do. It wasn't broken like everything else!

Pfffft yeah. You're surprised you can think the word "map" without an aneurysm. COMPLETELY blind. Can't even access the ship class.

: "You see..."

Well?

[TheBiggerFish]

"Everything is broken."

[freeformschooler]

I think the first and most important thing to check is everyone's menuesERROR I mean everyone's statuses. Yes that. How big are our inventories? How many useless titles do we get? Do our warriors have names or do we have to thematically name them like Rumple, Bumple, and Burp? These are the important questions.

[Whisperling]

PTW

[crazyabe]

I think the first and most important thing to check is everyone's menuesERROR I mean everyone's statuses. Yes that. How big are our inventories? How many useless titles do we get? Do our warriors have names or do we have to thematically name them like Rumple, Bumple, and Burp? These are the important questions.

+1

[IronyOwl]

I think the first and most important thing to check is everyone's menuesERROR I mean everyone's statuses. Yes that. How big are our inventories? How many useless titles do we get? Do our warriors have names or do we have to thematically name them like Rumple, Bumple, and Burp? These are the important questions.

+1

: "Just a second."



1 Hit Point. 0 Inventory Slots. No Finishers. Final Destination.

You're pleasantly surprised to note that you can say Inventory and Finishers, at least.

They don't appear to have names other than their titles or class names or whatever. Come to think of it, you notice their Soul Seeds have different names than they do. You're not a hundred percent sure if that's normal or always like that or what.

They do not appear to have any useless title slots or anything either. Unless you count their names, which you'd be open to considering.

Long story short, you're boned until the death of one of your useless mooks dramatically inspires the others. Fortunately dying appears to be their primary talent.

: "Weeeeeeeeeeeell?"

: "Yeah you gonna tell us why you almost fed us to a Rape Whale or what?"

: "Sisters, please-"

: "Suck it, suckup."

: "'I'm sure the treachery squid has perfectly valid reasons!'"

: "Urge to kill... rising..."

: "I am definitely the leader."


They appear to be getting antsy.

[crazyabe]

Can we Still make more of em? if we can then send em out to fight that thing and possibly die.
If not then could we have them spar and generally train for a bit?


In ether case, Lets put the Angel Hacker in charge of them all, Modifying his text and Name color to green.

[Nunzillor]

"You have all been chosen for a super secret special mission!  That's right, due to your incredible abilities and sterling reputations, not to mention your bravery in scouting the west, high command has selected each of you to scout out the area to the east under commander Hacking Angel.  If— sorry, when you come back, I expect a full report.  Dismissed!"

[The Froggy Ninja]

"You have all been chosen for a super secret special mission!  That's right, due to your incredible abilities and sterling reputations, not to mention your bravery in scouting the west, high command has selected each of you to scout out the area to the east under commander Hacking Angel.  If— sorry, when you come back, I expect a full report.  Dismissed!"

+1

[IronyOwl]

Can we Still make more of em?

In theory. You should be able to make a literally infinite number of them, with a handful of caveats. The most obvious being that EVERYTHING is broken, so you can't be certain how much is working how well in what ways.

The other one is that without a power source, drawing more of them takes energy straight from the ERROR

...straight from where you are. That should be fine and infinite, but not all at once; you might have a delay before you're charged enough.

There are other concerns as well. For instance, at the moment you have the infrastructure to support and house 0 warriors. Summoning more before you can care for more is risky. Same for managing them; right now you barely have a handle on these five, much less a second squad or piling on more obnoxious voices wanting answers.

if we can then send em out to fight that thing and possibly die.

Brilliant!

: "Warriors! I need you to go nick that thing down one hit point at a time while I summon replacements to also die nicking it down one hit point at a time!"

: "Golly aren't you worried about feeding that thing like a billion Soul Seeds?"

"Not in the slightest! This is my greatest plan."

: "Well I'm sure in a hurry to die, so come on everyone!"

Needless to say this will not be happening.
^{Fun fact I tried to draw shittier to illustrate that it was imaginary but that wasn't physically possible}

If not then could we have them spar and generally train for a bit?

If you weren't worried about them wrecking the place and had the infrastructure to help them recover from injuries, sure.

If you mean to make them suck less, though, then no. They might get something out of the bonding experience, but for the most part getting stronger by training requires even more facilities and is sharply limited. True strength comes from dungeon harvesting and battlefield tragedy.

In ether case, Lets put the Angel Hacker in charge of them all, Modifying his text and Name color to green.

"You have all been chosen for a super secret special mission!  That's right, due to your incredible abilities and sterling reputations, not to mention your bravery in scouting the west, high command has selected each of you to scout out the area to the east under commander Hacking Angel.  If— sorry, when you come back, I expect a full report.  Dismissed!"

+1

: "You see... you have all been chosen for a super secret special mission!"

: "Oh boy."

: "Here it comes."

: "...due to your incredible abilities and sterling reputations-"

: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
^{experiments in progress}

Resonance Event Achieved

: "..."

: "Dunno what you guys' problem is, I have an awesome reputation."

: "That's it."

: "We're done."

: "We don't need this crap."

: "We'll be fine on our own."

: "We're out."



...did they just level up from calling you on your bullshit?

They just leveled up from calling you on your bullshit.

: "W-wait!"

: "Noope."

: "But we have to stick together!"

: "Hurry up then."

: "But I'm the leader!"

: "Noope."

: "Ooh, ooh! I have a solution!"

: "Am so, and beat your own minions to death!"

: "But it's really tense!"

: "Hey wait for me!"

: "..."



Your cunning plan to level them up via agreement with each other has succeeded magnificently, as has your plan to motivate them to work on their own. Your plans to get them to not hate you, work together, and know what they intend to do once out in the wild could use some work.

So now what? Do you follow them, or just hope they don't die and then come back at some point, or...?

[Nunzillor]

All, uh, just as planned indeed.

[Nirur Torir]

Excellent, some absolutely free XP that definitely won't come back to bite us later.

Follow them!

We need to stop them from breaking anything important, finding something else to be loyal to (like broken consoles spouting gibberish), and from the fate of having nobody making comments at their failures.

[crazyabe]

Excellent, some absolutely free XP that definitely won't come back to bite us later.

Follow them!

We need to stop them from breaking anything important, finding something else to be loyal to (like broken consoles spouting gibberish), and from the fate of having nobody making comments at their failures.

+1

[IronyOwl]

Excellent, some absolutely free XP that definitely won't come back to bite us later.

Follow them!

We need to stop them from breaking anything important, finding something else to be loyal to (like broken consoles spouting gibberish), and from the fate of having nobody making comments at their failures.

+1

: "KEEP RUNNING"



: "DON'T *PANT* WANNA KNOW"



: "DON'T *PANT* EVEN THINK *PANT* ABOUT IT"




: "*PANT* *PANT* Okay, good spot *pant* to rest"

: "*pant* I think *pant*"

: "Squid *pant* followed us"

: "He's our *pant* Servitor he needs to *pant*"

: "Yeah no"

: "Also I'm the leader"

: "Yeah no"

: "We need him for scanning and *pant* leadership."

: "No you need ME for leadership."

: "Yeah no."

: "..."
They do not appear very coherent.

: "Alright, let's move out!"

: "But that's my line!"



: "*pant* Looking better!"



: "What the..."

: "WELCOME TO GA-NA VILLAGE PLEASE ENJOY YOUR STAY"

Oh no. It looks like-


WAIT DAMN IT



: "GLADLY, BUT IT SEEMS YOUR PUNY FORMS ARE TOO SOFT FOR SUCH A THING."

: "Who you callin' puny?!"

: "No really though is there anyplace less crushing than here?"

: "If we'd listen to the Servitor-"

: "We'd be dead and in a ditch!"

: "Why are you so hostile to our mission?"

: "We're not hostile to 'the mission.'"

: "We're hostile to lying seafood trying to sucker us into suicide runs."

: "He was merely attempting to motivate us..."

: "Yeah, into a pit of spikes."

: "Is there anyone here I'm allowed to beat to death?"

: "THE PIT OF SANCTIFICATION AWAITS ALL THOSE WHO CHALLENGE IT, YET I FORESEE ONLY DEATH AWAITS YOU THERE."

: "Aww."

: "So AS LEADER-"

: "Nope!"

: "-I say we're in a village too high level for us to do anything. We should keep moving."

: "Oooooooor we could chill out and watch some mushrooms kick ass."

: "Assuming they don't, you know, sacrifice us to their pagan gods or whatever. No offense."

: "NONE TAKEN, FOR THE WHEEL MUST HUNGER ALWAYS AND YOU HAVE LITTLE RECOURSE AGAINST OUR MIGHT."

: "Or we could listen to the Servitor."

: "Beat people to death?"

: "That's a vote for moving on to find people to beat to death."

: "Then I choose that one!"


Their cohesion appears to have eroded further. If you're going to try something, now is probably either a really good or really bad time.

[Empiricist]

Tell them that if any of them die, the rest might be able to get stronger by devouring their corpse.