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Author Topic: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!  (Read 10315 times)

scrdest

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #75 on: February 07, 2016, 03:11:40 pm »

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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

Knit tie

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a1s

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #77 on: February 09, 2016, 05:17:08 pm »

Into space does not mean into orbit. Getting into obit requires a little bit less than twice as much delta-v than just getting into space.
What do you mean?
Going into orbit would require a "v"  of 7.9 km/s when starting from earth without thrust, or atmosphere. Under the same conditions, you need 990 m/s to reach FAI Space (100km up) and 885 m/s (not much different, because it's squares, see?) to reach USAF space (50 miles up.) That's a whole order of magnitude.
On the other hand if you apply constant "delta-v", you either can both go to space and into a ( suitably high ) orbit, or you can't lift off the ground at all.
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I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Bumber

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #78 on: February 27, 2016, 12:19:25 am »

Why did the dwarf give a funny name to a useless artifact craft? It had a Gneiss Ring to it.

Why didn't the programmer register a wedding gift? Not enough cache. (This one almost ended up in the Terrible Jokes thread, but I managed to assemble it in a way that works. Eh? Ehh?)
« Last Edit: February 27, 2016, 12:21:04 am by Bumber »
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #79 on: February 27, 2016, 12:59:01 pm »

Ha.

Nice compliation of programming jokes there.
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Tack

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #80 on: February 27, 2016, 08:55:43 pm »

These are terrible.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Orange Wizard

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #81 on: February 27, 2016, 10:46:23 pm »

Yeah, the only difference between this thread and the Terrible Jokes thread is that one is more self-aware.
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Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #82 on: February 27, 2016, 11:46:36 pm »

Considering that this thread is itself a terrible joke...
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Egan_BW

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #83 on: February 28, 2016, 01:41:03 am »

Guys, this is the thread you put jokes in after people say it's actually pretty good. Do not take the label of "Actually good joke" lightly.
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Bumber

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #84 on: May 17, 2016, 06:35:23 pm »

What did the man say when he saw a vulture stuff a corpse into the overhead baggage compartment?

"I've heard of carrion luggage, but this is ridiculous!"
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

TheDarkStar

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #85 on: May 17, 2016, 10:05:14 pm »

A few jokes I know (the first one is mine, the other two are from the internet):

Everyone has at least a bit of humanity in them. Especially the cannibals.



A farmer gathers an engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist to make the largest field with the least fence.

Engineer (after taking some fence and making a circle): "There! That is the most efficient shape."
Physicist (after taking some fence and making a line): "Obviously, the largest possible field takes a fence that goes all the way around the world."
Mathematician (after constructing a tiny fence around himself): "I am on the outside."



A statistician is getting executed for egregious use of statistics. He is tied to a chair and the firing squad gets ready.

"THREE"
"TWO"
"ONE"

*BANG*

Half the bullets go to the right and half go to the left. The statistician pauses, looks around for a moment, and then drops over dead.
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

Cryxis, Prince of Doom

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #86 on: May 18, 2016, 12:11:13 am »

Ptw
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MoonyTheHuman

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #87 on: May 18, 2016, 06:05:29 pm »

This post has been removed by a serious request from god
« Last Edit: May 18, 2016, 06:07:57 pm by MoonyTheHuman »
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #88 on: May 18, 2016, 06:20:06 pm »

I don't even what.
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It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

MoonyTheHuman

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Re: Not-Terrible Jokes Thread!
« Reply #89 on: May 18, 2016, 06:39:28 pm »

I don't even what.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Will be removed on request, dont kill me toady
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