Given the size of a wild boar tail, you should be fiiiine.
Well, here is the second part of my wild boar-man
tale, and it's not over quite yet! Don't count out this boar before he's done! I will not go so quietly! Oh, wait, you were talking about tails, not tales. Well, all I have to say to you then, is that it's not the size of your tail that matters, it's all in how you use it.As I arrived at Trimmedtrusted, a human hamlet, I was attacked by a human spearman. I tried to run at first, but they pursued. It is becomming clear to me that improving my endurance will be important. Running was never a strong suit of mine, and I no longer have as much advantage in size as I did among the dwarves. Yet this spearman was still intimidated by me when I at last turned to face him.
He ran without even exchanging a blow. I'll have to track him down some time and ask him why he drew weapons and came at me like that if he was so terrified of me. Perhaps it was my ugly face that scared him off, and he couldn't see it from behind or afar. At any rate, I learned his name, Stama Gladnessmirrors, shortly after arriving at the local lord's keep.
I also met a human maceman, Ero Shebiitke, while there. He was quite the lazy sort, inclined to wandering, and half as ugly among humans as myself. We struck up some common ground around that last point. It was still a surprise to me, though, when he agreed to let me raid the armory. I suppose he was more frustrated with the lord and his fellow guardsmen than I'd thought!
There was but one condition - I had to wrestle a boar. I confess, I nearly left him there. I was tired of such jokes. But the poor fool seemed sincere. He had grown up on a farm, he told me, and had always had trouble with managing the things. I suppose it was a small price to pay for a full set of armor and some better fitting clothes.
We left the village heading east, and it wasn't long before we found our share of my more distant kind, though we had to avoid several flocks of horrifyingly massive birds along the way. Ero amused himself by taking a few cheap shots with his fists and mace while I wrestled the brutes, until I made him wait by a tree nearby. He was swinging that thing way too close to my face for comfort.
We didn't have any luck finding a tavern for drinks that night. The nearest seems to be quite some distance away. Instead we camped in the outskirts of yet another hamlett, this named Routgorged, and ate some of the meat from our hunt. We spent most of the next day wandering through the town, me asking around about the area, and my new traveling companion asking after local colossi and titans and Armok knows what else. As we were walking through the village, we met a woman who Ero seemed to know. He got into an argument with this Urdim, a rather attractive, dark skinned woman. As best I could tell they'd been lovers at some point, though Ero had left rather suddenly. After shouting at one another for some time, while I tuned them out, Urdim drew a crossbow and shot him in the leg! Startled, I drew my weapons and prepared to fight, but as Ero crawled hurridly out of sight Urdim explained that her business was finished here. She didn't want any more trouble.
When asked about Ero, she said in a sad tone, "he was a good talker." She went on to explain how she'd had no family, grown up on the street, and eventually been taken under the wing of the overlord Innu Findersgilt. Ero had meant something to her once, and she'd been about to give up that life. But the moment he found out about her history as a bandit, he tried to turn her in. She barely escaped the guards.
I asked if she'd like to come with me, to try to talk to Ero and work things out, but she shook her head, saying "my duty is here".
I wished her the best, though I doubted there was any happy ending left here, and turned to follow the bloodstained trail Ero had left.
"You didn't kill her?" he asked, looking at my unstained hammer. I grunted in reply as I pulled him up and supported his weight, beginning to walk the rest of the way out of the city. "Would you prefer I had?" I asked. "It sounded like you two had some history together."
"It's all for naught, now." He shook his head sadly, then looking at his leg, where the bolt was stuck, he winced. "It was ineviteable. My own damn fault for letting my mouth run when it shouldn't."
I nodded, taking in what he'd said. "You didn't betray her, then, like she said?"
"Hells no, not intentionally, at least. I can see how she would believe otherwise though, and when it comes down to it, it doesn't really matter if it was intentional or not. It's still my fault, and she'd still blame me for outing her.
A little while further and we stopped by a creek to remove the arrow, as well as bandage and clean the wound.
"I sure wish we'd made it to that tavern before I got shot," Ero spoke, as I set him down. "A good pint would help a lot right now."
I chuckled as he said that. Pulling out a small flask, I said "You're in some luck, you know. I've lived with dwarves for just about my whole life. When I announced my plans to leave on an adventure, this is the one thing they all agreed I needed to bring along."
"You've been holding out on me!"
"Just saving it for when it was most needed." I tossed it over to him, and he began greedily tearing at the stopper. "You can drink two thirds, I'll need the rest to treat your wound when I remove the arrow."
When he was done with that, he stared sadly at what was left, and looked to regret not finishing it off. "Wish you'd let me have the whole thing. I'm not nearly drunk enough for this."
It was a good thing I hadn't started working yet, as I nearly fell over laughing.
"Ey! What's sho funny?"
"That was a dwarven brew. Trust me, in a moment you'll be about as drunk as I can get you without burning a hole through your liver."
"Well, maybe I
wahnt a hole in my livah! It'd sooo... soot... It'd match the rest ov me!"
"All right, we can take care of that tomorrow then."
As Ero grew less and less coherent, I began my work.
Despite the alcohol, he screamed like a piglet.
'Then again,' I mused,
'most do.'