Journal of TheCheeseMakerLife is the worst, sometimes, you know?
Like, for example, when your mother decides to name you TheCheeseMaker, then not actually teach you how to make cheese. Or when you’re always being forced to move from place to place, never staying long enough to make friends. Or being around fire snakes. Or watching your friends and family being horribly mutilated and murdered wherever you go.
Unfortunately, events like this happen to everyone. Such is the way of life.
I personally, however, believe myself to be cursed. Not because everyone around me dies, but because I always survive. Some people claim my bad luck is due to worshiping Avuz Ferastesh, who is responsible for allowing the demon, who has caused the dwarves here so much pain, to enter the world. There is no proof that he did that, though.
I’m writing this journal because my therapist said that writing down my thoughts about my life would help me better understand my own feelings. Of course, my state sponsored therapist was also a goblin who advised that any time I feel angry, the best course of action was to murder the nearest person.
Unsurprisingly, she was killed pretty quickly after she began her practice.
Anyway, I’m moving again. After a long and grueling debate, the government of the kingdom of The Razors of Calm, decided that the best course of action was to create a new fortress near the elven homelands, where we will exact our revenge upon the lesser beings for the war started all those years ago.
The government, of course, being a single drunken goblin who knows less about military strategy than a hamster man. The rest of the government, and nearly every single dwarf, were murdered by a forgotten beast back in the 70s. I was there too, but I, obviously, survived.
So as one of the greatest miners left in the entire kingdom,
Proficient!
I am one of the lucky few chosen to create this fortress, called Tanglestaves, because the baroness was drunk when she named it. Since this is my first journal entry, I should probably describe some stuff about me:
Other interesting characters on our journey, include our expedition leader, brendsmalls, who has some interesting views on the war with the elves. Hey baroness! Maybe if you’re going to create a fortress based around the military, don’t send someone who, in his own words, “views tranquility as one of the highest ideals” and “does not really value skills related to fighting.”
Despite that, he’s a good worker and I feel like he can lead us competently in the future.
Everyone else is a pretty standard dwarf, except for someone named Gwolfski. Now, most people are pretty hypocritical in their ideals, but not Gwolski. No, she, once again in her own words, “thinks working hard is an abject idiocy,” but unlike the others, can actually back up her claim with her list of skills.
Anyway, we should probably be arriving at the location within a couple of days, so I probably won’t write again until then. If we’re lucky, maybe not everyone will die before we even reach the site.
Edit: I had to change a couple things, since on a closer look at legends mode, it's pretty clear that our civ, for all intents and purposes, doesn't actually exist anymore, but more on that in the next update.
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Topic: Tanglestaves (40.24 Succession) (Read 5457 times)