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[SaberToothTiger]

Oh, okay.

Enter my office and use my intercom to spread the following message of joy to all people in the ungodly waiting room. Call one person in.

Message of Joy:
"*Grumble, grumble* company appreciates *Grumble, grumble* you're valuable *Grumble, grumble* please wait. _{For fuck's sake.}

[hector13]

((He'll be my PA. That way I don't have to think of a clever way to close the bloody door

Edit: Or whatever because I don't read through everything properly apparently))

Diana gets on the phone to Stan mumbling loudly enough for Derek to hear "Do I have to do everything for you useless bastards..."

"Stan! Stan the Man! With the Master Plan! Look, I'm going to need you to get on with these evacuation protocols, m'kay? The techs are freaked over something, had that little worry-wart Greg on the blower whining down the phone at me. I'll make sure that he's the one that takes the blame should it turn out he's making a mountain out of a molehill alright? He's just a stupid little man that likes to play with computers and numbers anyway, amirite?"

If that fails:

"Okay, okay, I see what you're saying Stan, but Greg was insistent. Lets just say it's a drill? Maybe that'll stop the young whippersnapper from whining."

Once done with him, put him on a list for some of the final "forced volunteers" for product testing, making sure he's testing something with unpleasant side effects. Let the higher-ups know we need a new security guard, Stan is going senile. Blame Stan for any unpleasant consequences from the evactuation, Greg for the containment breach. Whiney little ass he is.

Get the PA to get me a blanket and a wheelchair because I want to test them out for the aunt who gave me the executive toy.

[crazyabe]

PTW

[Chromatic Wasp]

((He'll be my PA. That way I don't have to think of a clever way to close the bloody door

Edit: Or whatever because I don't read through everything properly apparently))

((If it works for you, it works for me!))

"Yes, ma'am. Right away."

Despite thinking it slightly odd that Diana suddenly wants a wheelchair, even though she seemingly came into work completely fine this morning, Tom does what any good little assistant would do: follow orders.

[Ghazkull]

"What. The. Fuck. Fuck this. Fuck this company so, so much."

First: Call IT ask them if they can momentarily shut down Lockdown and then reactivate it. IF yes contact the deathtroopers on the other side and warn them that i am coming and not more things to shoot. If they doubt me tell them about Jenna.

Second: if none of this works and im still stuck on the deadly side, start cleaning and make the floor extra wet, i have galoshes which should prevent sliding around but a horde of suicidal Bruce Lees certainly will fall to the terrible effects of wet floors.

[Nunzillor]

In a few hours I won't even remember this.  The joys of repression!  Hmm, maybe we can use this technique to recycle our testers?

Climb up the wall.  Try and turn off most of my consciousness while doing so.

[hector13]

((He'll be my PA. That way I don't have to think of a clever way to close the bloody door

Edit: Or whatever because I don't read through everything properly apparently))

((If it works for you, it works for me!))

"Yes, ma'am. Right away."

Despite thinking it slightly odd that Diana suddenly wants a wheelchair, even though she seemingly came into work completely fine this morning, Tom does what any good little assistant would do: follow orders.

"Where you born in a barn? Close the door too, idiot!"

[crazyabe]

Spoiler: Character Sheet If the game's open to em (click to show/hide)

Assumed Name: Bisnif-Jurdon-Darek-Lozzenth-Nebulor-Canya-The-Third,-King-Of-England-And-Russia
Real name:Alan-LieQuick
Job: Lawyer
Talent: Lying
Failing: Drug addict Compulsive lyre Womanizer Telling the truth
Quote: "Yes, I have always been like this, Even before I joined the company."

[Chromatic Wasp]

((He'll be my PA. That way I don't have to think of a clever way to close the bloody door

Edit: Or whatever because I don't read through everything properly apparently))

((If it works for you, it works for me!))

"Yes, ma'am. Right away."

Despite thinking it slightly odd that Diana suddenly wants a wheelchair, even though she seemingly came into work completely fine this morning, Tom does what any good little assistant would do: follow orders.

"Where you born in a barn? Close the door too, idiot!"

"Ah- yes, ma'am! Sorry!" He shuts the door in a frantic rush, then goes to look for the wheelchair and blanket.

[Person]

I'll just wait list for now if you're still taking sheets for people who aren't interns.

Spoiler: Application (click to show/hide)

Name: Henry Carson

Job: Groundskeeper

(With a large enough company, I wouldn't be surprised if they had people out cutting the grass and planting trees to help their image. I'll pick something else if this doesn't fit in well though. It might be interesting to look at the chaos from outside, but now that I think about it loads of people are going to see me in passing just by looking out a window, which could be bad.)

Talent: Grounds-keeping (Boring, I know. If that's too broad, then planting flowers specifically.)

Failing: Understanding modern technology (He's an old fogey, and mostly took the job so he doesn't go mad during retirement)

Quote: "You want HOW many azaleas planted by the end of the day?"