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[Cheesecake]

Horrible boss yelling at you. Douchebag coworkers talking behind your back. Lousy, rundown apartment to return home to. Yup, another day at the office. Exactly the same. Again. Except one, peculiar thing: an email. Not some company memo or spreadsheets. It was special. You thought it was merely an ad or spam mail. Normally, anyone would have deleted it. Anyone but you, you who was so bored with life.

And you'll never regret it.

Spoiler: Are yOu anGry and Frustrated aLl the timE? (click to show/hide)

Sign up now for a once in a life time chance! Trust us, you'll never regret it! Just read our terms and conditions and click accept! _{And add a little blood.}

That was the email. All you did was click accept, and strangely, your mouse sort of pricked your finger, and that was when you got to the website. It was simple, with a plain black background and a small box with some sort of weird language. Your boss came in your cubicle, breathing down your neck again, berating you for going on some unrelated websites.

Out of reflex, and years and years of pent up frustration, you yelled at him in the weird language on the screen. Immediately, your boss turned into a little frog. Fitting, you thought, since he always looked like a frog in a suit. Turning back to your screen, the words had changed, this time to English.

"Want more?"

"Yes," you type in.

"Tell me your name."

[Sl4cker]

"Robert Nakam."

[Cheesecake]

"Enjoy yourself, Robert Nakam."

The tiny pop-up box disappears and is replaced by a mind-boggling list of that same strange language. Only this time, you understand. Most of the list is comprised of Email Magic; you send spells, charms and curses through emails! Maybe that's where you should start. There are many other spells on the website, too, if you chose to search carefully.

The website also shows lists for potions that you can brew in the water-dispenser, where a bunch of your snobby coworkers are talking right now. Probably about you. Most of these ingredients you can steal from the company kitchen. The rest, you're not so sure.

Finally, there's a search-box at the top of the website. If you're looking for a spell, that's the tool.

Now, Robert Nakam, have fun with freedom.

[Sl4cker]

Firstly, find a sufficiently horrible spell: Something that would likely last at least a decently long time, and triggers after a day or two has passed.
Afterwards, create a chain mail that incorporates the spell into the mail. The time limit the chain mail says should be one day.
Send it to all the really stupid people in the office. Anyone gullible enough to fall for it.
Watch as the world burns.

[Andres]

SEND THIS EMAIL TO SEVEN OTHER PEOPLE OR YOU WILL BE POSSESSED BY A DEMON

[ATHATH]

SEND THIS EMAIL TO SEVEN OTHER PEOPLE OR YOU WILL BE POSSESSED BY A DEMON

-1

Our coworkers are bad, but I'm nearly certain that demons are worse.

Ensure that the email magic cannot affect us. Research how long the frog transmutation lasts, and apologize to our boss.

[FallacyofUrist]

SEND THIS EMAIL TO SEVEN OTHER PEOPLE OR YOU WILL BE POSSESSED BY A DEMON

-1

Our coworkers are bad, but I'm nearly certain that demons are worse.

Ensure that the email magic cannot affect us. Research how long the frog transmutation lasts, and apologize to our boss.

+1, but be sure to laugh at boss.

[ATHATH]

SEND THIS EMAIL TO SEVEN OTHER PEOPLE OR YOU WILL BE POSSESSED BY A DEMON

-1

Our coworkers are bad, but I'm nearly certain that demons are worse.

Ensure that the email magic cannot affect us. Research how long the frog transmutation lasts, and apologize to our boss.

+1, but be sure to laugh at boss.

Don't laugh at him. We'll get fired.

We should probably tell some sciencey people that we can do magic. It might be able to better the world.

See if there is a "Cure Cancer" spell.

[Mlamlah]

SEND THIS EMAIL TO SEVEN OTHER PEOPLE OR YOU WILL BE POSSESSED BY A DEMON

Won't plus one this, but i will say that it is hi-LARIOUS

[Cheesecake]

That was great! You search in the toolbar if email magic can affect you, even if its directed at someone else, and it answers 'yes'. A little gif of a cartoon you sending an email to your neighboring worker appears. The neighbor blows up, and you get incinerated in the blast radius. That was a fun little example.

Next search, how long frog-transmutation lasts. Indefinitely, until someone deletes the jinxed email. You wonder how you sent an email verbally. The toolbar search shows nothing though.

You delete the email from his office, the frog still croaking in your hands, and watch as he leaps and grows into his normal self. "Sorry, boss. Didn't mean to turn you into a frog."

"The hell are you talking about, Nakam? Get back to work!"

The last thing you search is a cure for cancer. All you find is a remedy for the common cold, chickenpox and measles. You can brew it in the water-cooler. Just make sure no one is watching you. Its in the terms and conditions that you must not be caught in the act. You see your account on the top-right corner of the website: R.Nakam21 - Trial Account.

[Sl4cker]

Firstly, find a sufficiently horrible spell: Something that would likely last at least a decently long time, and triggers after a day or two has passed.
Afterwards, create a chain mail that incorporates the spell into the mail. The time limit the chain mail says should be one day.
Send it to all the really stupid people in the office. Anyone gullible enough to fall for it.
Watch as the world burns.

[Cheesecake]

Firstly, find a sufficiently horrible spell: Something that would likely last at least a decently long time, and triggers after a day or two has passed.
Afterwards, create a chain mail that incorporates the spell into the mail. The time limit the chain mail says should be one day.
Send it to all the really stupid people in the office. Anyone gullible enough to fall for it.
Watch as the world burns.

Sorry, I was doing the one with more votes. If this one gets the most votes I'll do it.

[Ozarck]

Send a hiccuping memo to the whole department, except ourself.

[ATHATH]

Firstly, find a sufficiently horrible spell: Something that would likely last at least a decently long time, and triggers after a day or two has passed.
Afterwards, create a chain mail that incorporates the spell into the mail. The time limit the chain mail says should be one day.
Send it to all the really stupid people in the office. Anyone gullible enough to fall for it.
Watch as the world burns.

+1, but make kit easily but obscurely reversible (hop on one foot ten times to cure it) so that it won't backfire on us.

[Arcvasti]

Send a hiccuping memo to the whole department, except ourself.

This.