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Author Topic: Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: COBRA!!!  (Read 920817 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8580 on: February 14, 2021, 07:42:21 am »

Oh man, one of my friends first-time DM'd. They intentionally told us all different versions of what the campaign was going to be, with the end result being they broke a cardinal rule of DMing; make sure you're running the same campaign as your players.

Needless to say I wasn't very amused when my wholesome non-combat character, made for a wholesome social campaign - who had not killed a single thing in three campaigns, was pitted against the God of Pestilence.
Lmao

So I gave a bloody lieutenant's debriefing on how much of a clusterfuck that was and he took those lessons to heart. Fast forward to 2021 when I get invited to play an NPC in a 1to1 campaign he was doing with another of our mutual friends. Spend about an hour doing a South-Wharf North-Wharf gang feud that saw our friend's gentlemanly character embroiled in Jimmy's yardy boy gang business. After a great deal of blustering that our friend was capable of summoning a sharknado, which was a credible enough threat given the circumstances, Jimmy, the wizard-turned-gangster and their rival boss Sampson agree to meet at a fountain. Negotiations go smoothly with both Sampson and Jimmy finding common ground for working together to dominate the "tax free business" when we're attacked by a god with 500 HP that hits for 250 damage. Sampson and Jimmy are both lvl 5 fighters, the player char was lvl 8 warlock and we were joined by another lvl 8 NPC bard played by a friend who joined later that evening.
It took 2 hours to kill this thing with copious cheesing, but it wasn't challenging or interesting so much as it was just Mugabe levels of number inflation.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We spent a good hour and a half just roasting how he managed to get even worse, like he managed to distill the worst elements of all DND into DND Vodka. It reached a headway where the DM had a shocking revelation when he said it was the warlock player's fault for not choosing the powerful choices before him, and I told him "Do you hear what you've become? You're criticizing him for not min-maxing a wizard?" And he replied "Oh my god what have I become."
The bard player tried to be diplomatic but after 30 minutes of roasting joined in too until everyone was crying and making GOKU POWERING UP SCREAMS AHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO DEFEAT THE ENEMY I HAVE TO POWER UP AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

So yeah, old habits die hard. Apparently in my absence these bad habits have full on become his style. It got to a level of satire which shouldn't even be possible when I compared his setting to Blacksun Deathcrawl, a gaming system which is only theoretically playable and is an engine of depsair meant to simulate depression. Yet every time I brought up something like "he'll probably have you fight an abstract concept of hopelessness that forces you to kill every NPC you grew attached to" or "you'll fight a god backwards through time across a hell dimension and be forced to kill its innocent origin point in order to maintain causality" the Warlock player said he'd alreay done those. I was that specific, and he'd already been forced to play that. The DM cackled like an evil hag every time I brought up some impossibly grimdark exercise in cock and ball torture and the warlock player said "yep did that last sesh." It got to a point where I was reading out how chars in BSDC are unable to truly die until they give up hope and Warlock player was all "yeah my char can't die for good unless they get succ'd into hell, death is no escape," and I had to yell grimBINGO

Warlock player was laffin like nuts, left the discord but had to come back to laff some more. Wondering how his char meant for a low level city campaign about mid level crime and respect was supposed to deal with the Mugabe inflation thousand armed Shakti world devouring gods coming after him, each one more powerful than the last.

A year ago I told him make sure you know what campaign you're running. If your players and you have agreed that they're running a campaign about opening a muffin shop in detroit don't drop vengeful Kali on them

scriver

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8581 on: February 14, 2021, 08:03:49 am »

I'm pretty sure you could defeat Kali with a good muffin

Never underrestimate the power of muffins
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Egan_BW

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8582 on: February 14, 2021, 08:21:14 am »

*throws blueberry muffin at kali's head*
*kali gets knocked out*
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8583 on: February 14, 2021, 08:33:54 am »

Kali is 50% blueberry muffin she is immune

scriver

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8584 on: February 14, 2021, 08:39:05 am »

Only to Blueberry Muffin damage! Thrown muffins still deal Bludgeoning damage
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delphonso

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8585 on: February 14, 2021, 08:41:12 am »

Let's see... They've got blueberry muffins...lemon poppyseed... Oh, I'll take the vorpal muffin.

LordPorkins

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8586 on: February 14, 2021, 04:55:31 pm »

the vorpal muffin.

That'd be a great name for one of those Board Game Cafes
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Rolan7

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8587 on: February 14, 2021, 05:57:25 pm »

I'll take a baker's 20 of them!

And gosh LW, what a wild GM!  I'm glad y'all had some good laughs about it.  That discord chat, LOL!

I'm sure there are RPGs where you can play saiyan-like characters...  Our Mutants and Masterminds game was like that in a lot of ways.  And like a saiyan-game, the idea of balance seemed to go straight out the dang window, but we still had fun with its ridiculousness.
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This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

MrRoboto75

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8588 on: February 14, 2021, 06:49:46 pm »

I'm sure there are RPGs where you can play saiyan-like characters...

Exalted?
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Jimmy

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8589 on: February 15, 2021, 02:56:34 am »

The next time I have one of my bard-like players die and get resurrected, I'm gonna RP their deity speaking to their soul beforehand.

God: Hey, welcome to the afterlife! Great job on doing all the stuff you were supposed to do.

God: So, by the way, did you, y'know, lay with all the women down there? Nudge, nudge, wink wink?

God: What?! You didn't? Me-dammit, why not?

God: You were supposed to be my gift to them!

God: Alright, I'm sending you back, but this is their last chance or I'm sending a plague or a flood or something.
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Kagus

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8590 on: February 15, 2021, 04:30:19 am »

Wondering how his char meant for a low level city campaign about mid level crime and respect was supposed to deal with the Mugabe inflation thousand armed Shakti world devouring gods coming after him, each one more powerful than the last.

Eldritch Blast

Loud Whispers

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8591 on: February 15, 2021, 10:56:31 am »

Wondering how his char meant for a low level city campaign about mid level crime and respect was supposed to deal with the Mugabe inflation thousand armed Shakti world devouring gods coming after him, each one more powerful than the last.
Eldritch Blast
"We're gonna need a bigger blast"

Rolan7

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8592 on: February 15, 2021, 11:03:16 am »

Just apply the Deicidal Blast invocation.
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She/they
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Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Kagus

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8593 on: February 15, 2021, 11:10:33 am »

Wondering how his char meant for a low level city campaign about mid level crime and respect was supposed to deal with the Mugabe inflation thousand armed Shakti world devouring gods coming after him, each one more powerful than the last.
Eldritch Blast
"We're gonna need a bigger blast"

Wrong reference, I know, but I just imagined a Ghostbusters team of warlocks all dedicated to the same patron who sends them on missions to eradicate spooky hauntings.

"Don't cross the blasts!"

Grim Portent

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Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« Reply #8594 on: February 15, 2021, 12:10:04 pm »

Had a chat with my brother earlier about an idea for a relatively young mixed goblinoid nation that practices an elective monarchy but is torn between two candidates because of tensions involving a recent war, with the areas that were hit hard by it favouring one candidate who's unorthodox but was important to the war and who they think will be a good ruler if hostilities start again, and the other areas favouring a traditionalist candidate who they think would be better for reconstruction and delaying the return of hostilities.

On top of this would be the social tensions between the fledgling landed noble classes of the kingdom, the unlanded wealthy and the peasantry, racial tensions between goblins, bugbears, hobgoblins and worgs, religious tensions over which goblin deities should be openly worshipped and some people, primarily worgs, rebelling against the shift to an agrarian society from the previous hunter-gatherer-raider model.

Meanwhile bandits, some ex-soldiers turned pillagers, some foreign scouts, some just opportunistic criminals or desperate peasants have begun picking away at the areas already weakened by war, foreign nations engage in trade embargoes and diplomatic efforts to direct things in their favoured direction, missionaries seek to convert the goblinoids away from their historic deities.
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