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[IcyTea31]

Half-elves are actually a single-sexed species. Between their legs is actually a stinger of amnesia-inducing venom, whereas their sexual organ is a tongue-like ovipositor in the mouth. About four months after the congress, the sorcerer is going to be very surprised...

[Loud Whispers]

Obligatory Elfwood. Omnisexual captain jack bardness is a cliche I always find too amusing to shut down

[Kagus]

So, was just looking at the description of Goodberry (while fiddling with ideas of value picks for a non-spellcaster picking up Magic Initiate), and...

Up to ten berries appear in your hand and are infused with magic for the duration. A creature can use its action to eat one berry. Eating a berry restores 1 hit point, and the berry provides enough nourishment to sustain a creature for one day.

The berries lose their potency if they have not been consumed within 24 hours of the casting of this spell.

Emphasis mine.

Goodberry is a spell with a duration of Instantaneous, so... Does that mean that the berries are infused with an instant flash of magic, before immediately reverting to non-magical state? Does the magic matter? Are the mundane berries no longer capable of sustaining a grown man for 24 hours, or are they just nonmagically nutritious enough to do so? The spell says that they lose their potency if not eaten within 24 hours of the casting, but "potency" isn't specifically magic... It's obvious it means the berry's ability to satiate someone for a day, but what's it actually mean? The berry's THC content? Erection?

Also I love how it just says "creature". Human? Nourished. Gnome? Nourished. Raven? Nourished. Tarrasque? Nourished.


Thanks for coming to my SHITpost.

[delphonso]

New plan defeat Tarrasque - throw ten goodberries in its mouth.

If we read duration and instantaneous to mean the effect wears off as soon as it is casted, the rest of the spell just informs you that regular berries are really fucking good in the Forgotten Realms.

[scriver]

Well, rose hips are the #2 most important food source in a survival situation

[Kagus]

The Goodberry thing got me curious about food and water rations in general (in addition to the fact that the campaign I'm currently in seems to be taking an exceptionally forgiving stance on such logistics), and... Um.

A character needs one pound of food per day and can make food last longer by subsisting on half rations.

Rations (1 day) = 2lbs.

Every other food item mentioned = N/A lbs.

And that's just the start! "A character can go without food for a number of days equal to 3 + his or her Constitution modifier (minimum of 1). At the end of each day beyond that limit, a character automatically suffers one level of exhaustion. A normal day of eating resets the count of days without food to zero."

So, apparently characters actually only need to eat once every 4th day or so. And that fasting period is completely reset with a single pound of food.

To make matters worse, there's even a mention of "making food last longer" by eating half rations, where each day eating half rations only counts as half a day spent not eating. ...you may be seeing a slight issue here.

Full rations: 1lb of food per 1 day:

*8 days = 8lbs of food, starvation counter at 0

Half rations: 1/2lb of food per 1 day:

*8 days = 4lbs of food, starvation counter at 4 (a character with no positive Constitution will now have to eat a full pound in order to reset the counter and avoid exhaustion)

Vogue diet = 1lb of food per 4 days:

*8 days = 2lbs of food, starvation counter at 0


And that's for someone with no positive CONMOD, it only gets nuttier the more Constitution they have (which does make sense in a way, except the final result is still silly).

Don't get me started on the water requirements and associated containers...


EDIT: As an unrelated aside, wew... Who could have foreseen that the Chaotic Neutral Halfling Bard player might actually be a little bit of a problem element in our game? Talking over other players, talking over the DM, derailing the narrative, telling other players what to do with their chars, trying to fudge details to benefit himself... Woof.

[delphonso]

Voguer diet = 1 berry of food per 4 days.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I'm still a big fan of Dark Sun's water rules, particularly the one where it explicitly turns your alignment off if you get too thirsty.

[Rolan7]

I'm still a big fan of Dark Sun's water rules, particularly the one where it explicitly turns your alignment off if you get too thirsty.

That does still give me chills, and I only heard stories second-hand.

[scriver]

The Goodberry thing got me curious about food and water rations in general (in addition to the fact that the campaign I'm currently in seems to be taking an exceptionally forgiving stance on such logistics), and... Um.

A character needs one pound of food per day and can make food last longer by subsisting on half rations.

Rations (1 day) = 2lbs.

Every other food item mentioned = N/A lbs.

And that's just the start! "A character can go without food for a number of days equal to 3 + his or her Constitution modifier (minimum of 1). At the end of each day beyond that limit, a character automatically suffers one level of exhaustion. A normal day of eating resets the count of days without food to zero."

So, apparently characters actually only need to eat once every 4th day or so. And that fasting period is completely reset with a single pound of food.

To make matters worse, there's even a mention of "making food last longer" by eating half rations, where each day eating half rations only counts as half a day spent not eating. ...you may be seeing a slight issue here.

Full rations: 1lb of food per 1 day:

*8 days = 8lbs of food, starvation counter at 0

Half rations: 1/2lb of food per 1 day:

*8 days = 4lbs of food, starvation counter at 4 (a character with no positive Constitution will now have to eat a full pound in order to reset the counter and avoid exhaustion)

Vogue diet = 1lb of food per 4 days:

*8 days = 2lbs of food, starvation counter at 0


And that's for someone with no positive CONMOD, it only gets nuttier the more Constitution they have (which does make sense in a way, except the final result is still silly).

Don't get me started on the water requirements and associated containers...


EDIT: As an unrelated aside, wew... Who could have foreseen that the Chaotic Neutral Halfling Bard player might actually be a little bit of a problem element in our game? Talking over other players, talking over the DM, derailing the narrative, telling other players what to do with their chars, trying to fudge details to benefit himself... Woof.

Somebody needs a sit down

[Rolan7]

Yeah, the devs!  These things worked pretty well in 3.5, in 5e it's "do whatever" but they don't admit that.

[scriver]

No I referred to the last edit, I was just too lazy to trim my post to the relevant content

[Cthulhu]

I don't think you're expected to actually read or follow rules for most things that aren't combat.  Nobody cares about wilderness travel and logistics anymore and the people who do are the heavy duty grogs who have their own rules for it, so the market for official 5e rules for such things is zero.

[Loud Whispers]

Jesus Christ why are tiefling players always so fucking horrendous. Every time I give the benefit of the doubt I always come to regret it

[Maximum Spin]

Jesus Christ why are tiefling players always so fucking horrendous. Every time I give the benefit of the doubt I always come to regret it

What are they doing?