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[Kagus]

Or you could just say that a rare more powerful version of Awaken was cast on you.
We don't actually have to be able to cast it ourselves.

Or, even better, you just happened to be dumber than the average deinonychus, allowing the spell to be cast...

Buncha druids probably took pity on you... Or were just stoned on divination herbs and figured they had to jump at the chance to finally elevate a dinosaur.

[Trekkin]

Buncha druids probably took pity on you... Or were just stoned on divination herbs and figured they had to jump at the chance to finally elevate a dinosaur.

The Idiot Dinosaur is the druid version of The Ugly Duckling, clearly.

[Egan_BW]

...If your GM is okay with it, you could just say you were a dinosaur that's had Awakening cast on it at some point in the past. No need for polymorphing.
As a bonus this means that your backstory is "A wizard druid did it."

[Rolan7]

Even what she should mechanically take as a feat.  Still leaning towards Tavern Brawler - even though it's dumb, oOoO, I should probably take 20 CHA instead~

It's dumb, oOoO, you should probably take 20 CHA instead.

The grappling parts of Tavern Brawler aren't even that good from a grappling perspective, and are completely useless to a non-grappler. The unarmed damage die upgrade is nice if you plan on punching people a lot, which is the real reason grapplers might pick the feat up, but if you're not an extremely punchy character it's not going to do much either.

As for proficiency with improvised weapons, you already have proficiency with improvised objects that resemble weapons you're proficient with. I mean, this is technically a "GM's option", but I'm going to go ahead and assume that your particular GM isn't the kind who would say you can't use a lump of wood or table leg as a club (which you are proficient with) because it's not exactly the kind of lumpy wood that a club is designated as being.

One thing is trying to argue that the cool rock you picked up should be treated as a double-bladed scimitar, it's entirely another to say "this whacking stick is a whacking stick".


Basically the only thing you'd directly get out of that is proficiency with using specifically your lute as a weapon, and as a dabbling musician I can only scream silently at such a decision.


EDIT: If you really want to drive home the "cheerleader" role, you could potentially take something like Martial Adept and pick up a superiority die. There's no stat bonus attached to the feat (and 20 CHA really is quite nice), but you get access to things like Commanding Strike or Maneuvering Strike, which would let you play fangirl to the Dragopal by giving them more things to do with their reaction (there's also Rally, but it's a piddling amount of temporary hitpoints and temp HP doesn't stack with any other source of temp HP, of which there are many). As far as bar room brawl applicability is concerned, most maneuvers require only a "weapon attack", which includes unarmed strikes and throwing rocks/mugs at people.

I've been mulling over this very solid advice, thank you!  I'm not trying to optimize but there are some good ideas here regardless, particularly the Martial Adept options for chearleading.

However I've already got a lot of "Hey have a die" as a bard.  I don't want to slow things down even more by having people perform actions during my turn.  And OOC I've had a tendency to "direct" battles for a while, and that just doesn't fit my current character at all.  I consider it personal growth that the orc player sleepily attacked someone I'd just Hideous Laughter'd, and I didn't even try to warn him.  Just told the DM about the save-with-advantage, then assured the other player that it was totally fine XD

More mechanically, I've already got a lot of use for my bonus actions, and we seldom take short rests.

Grappling is awful and doesn't fit my character though, so I agree Tavern Brawler is dumb, oOoO.  Gotta pick something else.
Crossbow Expert is SO badass, particularly the offhand shot into a melee opponent, but doesn't fit at all.  Same with Moderately Armored, even if I got the DM to allow +1 CON instead of the book's +1 Str or Dex (Dex??).  No, here are what I'm actually considering now:

Skulker:  Probably completely stupid.  Is a bard automatically revealed by playing a song?  Probably.  Unless the DM decides I'm echoing my music off the walls or something.  I wouldn't bring it up except that I have double-proficiency in Stealth from when this character was an NPC.
Lucky: It's similar to what I already do as a bard, but MORE and stacks.  This is a strong candidate.
Inspiring Leader:  7 temp HP for everyone is okay I guess, but I'm not a leader, and there's only three of us, this just seems weak.
Resilient (CON):  I should stop obsessing about my odd CON probably.  Proficiency on CON does sound pretty useful... Except we have a paladin to cure disease and poison.
Defensive Duelist:  I like the idea of surviving melee, but this is probably a weak use of a feat
+2 CHA:  Let's face it I'm cute~  Almost certainly the best choice, and not even out of character at all.

[IcyTea31]

Is a bard automatically revealed by playing a song?

Bardic Inspiration works with any sort of artistic performance, including pantomime. The requirement is that the target see you or hear you, after all.

brb, making my next character a mime

[Kagus]

Medium armor still sorta relies on DEX, as it will benefit from dexterity up to 14, and will be penalized by dexterity below 10. So, yeah, I can see getting the +1 DEX from that.

Wouldn't generally recommend burning a feat for armor proficiency though, fluff or no fluff.

+2 CHA is of course probably going to go the farthest as far as real usability is concerned here, even if it doesn't come with quite as many bells and whistles as one might enjoy (I need to make a mental note to keep more room open for stat increases myself... Feats are just too tempting).


There's also War Caster. Advantage on concentration saving throws is great, and bards do have a few things they can use it on.

Being able to cast a single-target spell in place of an attack of opportunity is an interesting consideration as well. Since most AoOs have to do with a not-disengaged enemy leaving your threatened area, I imagine swapping a thump out with a quick casting of Vicious Mockery would be the Forgotten Realms equivalent of yelling "Oh yeah!?" at someone's back as they walk away.

All depending on your stats though, the thumpin' might have greater effect...

[scriver]

What about smell? Could you do a bardic smell performance?

[Kagus]

What about smell? Could you do a bardic smell performance?

Introducing Horvid, the Horrible Dwarven Flatulist!

[wierd]

Toot Flute is a musical performance!!

You want ODORIST!  A professional at fine-grained control over his skin's excretory responses, able to secrete a plethora of bodily odors!

[Kagus]

Or just be some sort of aromatherapy master, with incense, fragrant herbs and flowers, perfumes, scented candles and the like.

Granting an individual bardic inspiration could be achieved by hurling a fistful of potpourri at them.


Bonus points for picking a sitar as your musical instrument of choice.

[wierd]

If it can be visual... 

**Imagines a "bard" that is armed with 3 sticks of colored chalk, and a bulls-eye lantern.  The bard says nothing, but dramatically scrabbles together a complete-wall motif abstract art installation on the side of the dungeon wall, illuminated by the bullseye lantern.  Strange events happen immediately after.

[scriver]

I want a bard that performs exclusively flag-based acts, like the guys on old ships and air fields

[Hanslanda]

I want a bard that performs exclusively flag-based acts, like the guys on old ships and air fields

They still do that.

[IcyTea31]

Thunder and lightning engulfs the field as the mightiest warrior in the land and the most powerful wizard in recent memory take cover from the dragon's breath. The wizard responds with a crackling lightning bolt of his own, yet it grounds harmlessly on the azure wyrm's skin. The warrior wields her lance with valour, but it fails to penetrate the adamant scales and glances away. Hope seems lost as all turn their gazes to the third adventurer...

"Dexter, what do you think of the situation?" the bard asks from the sock covering his right hand.

"I'd say the darling Miss Lance there really needs to aim for the belly, that's where the weakpoint is," he says in a soft, high-pitched voice from the corner of his mouth as he moves the sock's "mouth", before turning to his left hand, also covered by a sock.

"What about you, Sinister?"

"OH, WIZZY-BOY SHOULD THROW A FIREBALL INSTEAD! SHOWER THE EARTH IN THE DRAGON'S BOILING BLOOD!" the bard shouts in a growling, maniacal voice.

Silence falls as the fighting stops. The warrior, the wizard and the dragon all stare at the bard, confused as he smiles proudly. A moment passes, until suddenly a disgusting SCHLURK sounds out from under the dragon as its neck droops and it falls to the ground, dead. The party's final member, the stealthiest rogue of all, had taken the opportunity for a sneak attack!

Be it with song or dance or even sock puppets or semaphore, a clever bard knows which of their party members to inspire, and how to best achieve it.

[scriver]

I want a bard that performs exclusively flag-based acts, like the guys on old ships and air fields

They still do that.

What ship today even has a place to look at another place on another ship where a flag person might be waving at them? Seems easier to just use radio.