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[TheFlame52]

I started a new fortress, Agedhammers. It's only 1 embark tile, the pop cap is 7, and the point of the fort is to tame wild animals. So far I've got giant wrens and giant flying squirrels. Great horned owls and barn owls are also coming along and I have a cougar and two bull moose.

AND SWEET BABY JESUS I HAVE 100 FPS

[Huntthetroll]

We're having !!FUN!! times at Helmsspirits. An invasion force of 55 zombie soldiers is besieging us on the surface, but they are effectively locked out. Elite Marksdwarf Tulon Paperfights takes potshots at them from her fortified bunker at the peak of a hill.

A troll recently killed our legendary armorsmith and smashed our water wheel, only to get his head chopped off by our brave militia dwarves. We had just finished disposing of his body when a towering, eight-legged hadrosaurid with external ribs thundered out of the depths, making a beeline for the central staircase. The militia mobilized again, and rushed off to intercept the beast.

Hammerdwarf Olin Gladecloistered was the first to reach the hadrosaur. He rained blows upon it with his ≡iron war hammer≡, breaking every bone in its body while blocking the swipes of its mighty limbs and dodging its headlong lunges. The beast's poisonous gas left him numb and nauseous, yet still he pressed on. Finally, just as his comrades spotted him and rushed to his aid, he passed out from sheer exhaustion. When he fell, the monster clamped its jaws on his left thigh and ripped the leg right out of his *iron greaves*.

As Olin's blood drained out of his dying body, it seemed that Ab Sootymorose the Painful Trials had won the duel. But Olin had smashed the forgotten beast's ribs, punctured its lungs, and broken its neck; now, as he bled to death, his foe suffocated. In its dying spasms, the hadrosaur bit his head and yanked it back and forth a few times, before finally grinding to a halt. The battle was over...

...or so it seemed! Now, as the dwarves of the Gear of Taming prepare a tomb for their fallen hero, the threat has redoubled, for the forgotten beast has risen again! Its corpse, not even cold yet, has been reanimated by the foul energies of the Plain of Vomit! The blasphemous thing shambles toward the surviving militia dwarves! They tremble in horror at being attacked by the dead!

...Look! Look! The thing has disemboweled our mayor!

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

It is terrifying.

[Max™]

It was inevitable.

[Calidovi]

It must be stopped by all means at our disposal.

One large wooden corkscrew and the old Gamefillip.

[cochramd]

And by "Gamefillip", I presume you mean "gratuitous amounts of magma".

[Max™]

T-minus 50 hours, and I just had a crash after finally cleaning up the slime that got tracked in and was paralyzing everyone.

So, screw it... pull the Zombocalypse lever!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh dear...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yeesh.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Multiple named zombies, zombies killing zombies getting raised by necros while different zombies kill other necros and the last necro gets killed. Crazy.

Near the end I tracked down the last living dorf, the mayor, he was running and got knocked out on a cage trap. Nobody to let him out and I intended to come visit with an adventurer so I ghosted him.

Got there with my adventurer, found the cage, built a lever and linked it up, freed him.

First thing he says?


...well.

Not sure if they were related but I kept finding little zombie-skirmishes too.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[SirQuiamus]

*snip*

Oh Armok... it is... quite... hnnnngh...

...fying.

[taptap]

While experimenting with minecarts I forgot about my livestock. Lost sustainable alpaca population (caravans are turned off for a long time), but have 70+ giant cave spiders now.

[Romeofalling]

After 9 months of hiatus, I'm trying to remember how everything works. Then the ice melted out from under my wagon.

[SirQuiamus]

Meanwhile in Windstockade, the dwarves decided to take a trip to the Circus, and guess what happened?

Spoiler: Real Spoilers! DO NOT OPEN! (click to show/hide)

Underground barracks.


Traditional spiketrap clown grinder.


It was very effective...


...and the ones that made it past the lethal spikiness were too mangled to put up a fight.


But then, a small troupe of flame clowns decided to abort the invasion, and set up camp in the upper levels of the candy chute.


I tried to flush them out of their positions, but the water just evaporated off them harmlessly. (haha, what did I expect? :p)


I couldn't eliminate them with the militia either, because (as I've now learned) there's a Very Fun bug that prevents dwarves from attacking critters composed of pure flame. (I was forced to perform the unholy ritual of Tâmol-Angish [Savior-Scum] after all my soldiers were dead and !!everything!! !!was!! !!on!! !!fire!!.)

So, I decided to give them a taste of candy-death from above (and ended up breaching a new section of the caverns as well).




It was all plain downhill sailing from there, since the most dangerous clowns (several pages of them) had been effortlessly skewered by the spiketraps, and only the flightless and relatively unaggressive ones remained down below.


Finally, the dwarves of Windstockade have reached the cheerful Circus Arena for the first time. (One small step for a dwarf, a giant leap for dwarfkind.)

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

That's what I want to do someday...

*recalls when he was a little dwarven boy hearing about the circus*

Jwood cancels backstory: Too Cliche

But yeah, I can't wait to hone my skills and finally pierce the fun stuff, and drive the foul creatures out and build a fortified outpost.

[Max™]

Oh yeah, the flame creature bug has a good reason.

They tend to explode, angels do that too if you find fire ones.

[SirQuiamus]

Oh yeah, the flame creature bug has a good reason.
They tend to explode, angels do that too if you find fire ones.

Humbug! True termite dwarven soldiers should always be willing to sacrifice themselves for the hive fort!

Spoiler: More Spoilers! No peeking! (click to show/hide)

The workers set out to fortify the Circus entrance, and a couple of them were instantly chased down by a lone eyeless clown.   


After that, a pack of sauropod clowns started heading towards the dwarves and a fight ensued on a nearby slade mesa. The critters in themselves were not much of a threat, but their toxic blood turned out to be horrific insta-kill stuff. Three soldiers died of clown cooties almost instantly.


Once the dwarves had secured this entrance with walls and floor hatches, they made a tactical retreat and started constructing another stairway in the next candy spire.


The total number of casualties was about twelve for the entire expedition, five civilians and seven soldiers, most of them felled by a foul clownish syndrome. Fun times may well be ahead as some dwarves are still displaying symptoms of the disease...

In any case, there are now two fortified entrances into demonic clownspace, and two more unutilized spires that I intend to fortify before I launch a full-scale campaign to seal off the map edges.

[Huntthetroll]

xHelmsspirits Updatex:

Forgotten beasts are bad, but zombie forgotten beasts are worse. Far, far worse.

The great, shambling corpse of Ab Sootymorose the Painful Trials has gained its own name: "Glumdrain, the Unkempt Insanities." It annihilated the rest of our militia and massacred the civilians who were trapped in the cavern when we sealed it off. Now, Glumdrain roams the depths, accompanied by the headless bodies of our fallen warriors (as well as their severed heads). They make short work of any living creatures that wander beneath Helmsspirits.

We now have no choice but to destroy the zombie army on the surface. Formidable though they may be, they are still easier to vanquish than Glumdrain and its headless retinue. Our siege operator, Mafol Planestreaty, spends every waking moment firing his catapult through the fortifications by the main gate. But Mafol is no soldier, and when the zombies come too close, he takes fright and flees his post. We cannot depend on this coward to save us.

Accordingly, our finest minds have designed a superweapon: the "minecart shotgun," which should give us the firepower we need to kill the zombies. From emplacements near the top of the great hills above Helmsspirits, these devices will rain hundreds of projectiles onto the zombies as they shuffle past on their mindless circuits through the valley below. Or so we hope.

How many flying +rock mugs+ does it take to de-animate a Human Lasher Corpse? Only time will tell.