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[Harry Baldman]

So, some assholes translating Ancient Greek poetry into English decided to keep the meter despite this being a terrible idea, and as a result our idea of epic poetry is a sort of mangled, old-timey English that was terribly awkward at the time it was first translated, and hasn't gotten better with the passage of time?

[Remuthra]

So, some assholes translating Ancient Greek poetry into English decided to keep the meter despite this being a terrible idea, and as a result our idea of epic poetry is a sort of mangled, old-timey English that was terribly awkward at the time it was first translated, and hasn't gotten better with the passage of time?

THAT'S NOT AT ALL HOW THIS SORT OF THING WORKS. IT BECAME ASSOCIATED WITH EPIC POETRY, PRIMARILY BECAUSE THIS STUFF IS DESIGNED TO BE SUNG, AND WHEN THE PEOPLE WHO LIKED POEMS FROM ONE LANGUAGE WANTED TO IMITATE EPIC POETRY, IT WAS ADAPTED AND SPREAD FURTHER. MANGLED, OLD-TIMEY ENGLISH IS JUST HOW ALL POEMS WORK. STOP YOUR GRIPING AND STOP NOT SPEAKING IN VERSE. SO SAYETH THE EDITOR.

[LordBucket]

3-2, 3-2, 3-2, 3-2?

Epic Locke, the dame. Shining hair, sublime! Lovely, and chaste!
Long ago, she left, her wedding, to Bob, Knight of Day, and Night.
Guests did cry, priests laughed. Farmfolk fled, the town, and county, in haste!
Locke had plans, you see, a dragon, abroad, to defeat, and fight!

[Remuthra]

3-2, 3-2, 3-2, 3-2?

*COUGH* It's six feet, each of which is composed of either a dactyl or a spondee. Dactyls are three syllables, one long followed by two short, while spondees are two long syllables. The last foot is always a dactylspondee, and the last syllable can be either long or short, and is always pronounced long. The second-to-last foot is usually a dactyl.

EDIT: Bah.

[Generally me]

This is some pretty deep stuff.

[LordBucket]

3-2, 3-2, 3-2, 3-2?

*COUGH* It's six feet, each of which is composed of either a dactyl or a spondee. Dactyls are three syllables, one long followed by two short, while spondees are two long syllables. The last foot is always a dactylspondee, and the last syllable can be either long or short, and is always pronounced long. The second-to-last foot is usually a dactyl.

Iiiiiiiii thiiiiiink, thaaaaat there scheme, wiiilllll beeee,   
Reeeeal haaaard,  toooo do in, Eeeeng-liiiiish.

[Remuthra]

3-2, 3-2, 3-2, 3-2?

*COUGH* It's six feet, each of which is composed of either a dactyl or a spondee. Dactyls are three syllables, one long followed by two short, while spondees are two long syllables. The last foot is always a dactylspondee, and the last syllable can be either long or short, and is always pronounced long. The second-to-last foot is usually a dactyl.

Iiiiiiiii thiiiiiink, thaaaaat there scheme, wiiilllll beeee,   
Reeeeal haaaard,  toooo do in, Eeeeng-liiiiish.

"scheme" has a long 'e' .

[IronyOwl]

I gave it a shot, but yeah. This is hard.

[Remuthra]

Indeed. Vergil never finished the Aeneid.

[IronyOwl]

And then he stabbed him with a sword the end.

No...

And so he  stabb-ed de  fuck-er in  the eye  and he uh  bled tons

...we'll call that alright for now and work on Line 2...

[Araph]

And so he  stabb-ed de  fuck-er in  the eye  and he uh  bled tons

Nailed it.

[Harry Baldman]

Oh, wait! Can we just use the dactylic hexameter in sort of a modern way, where it's not all about short/long syllables, but instead about stressed/unstressed ones (as in, using a modern meter instead of a classical one)? It's considerably less awkward to think about that way.

[High tyrol]

Ptw

[Remuthra]

Oh, wait! Can we just use the dactylic hexameter in sort of a modern way, where it's not all about short/long syllables, but instead about stressed/unstressed ones (as in, using a modern meter instead of a classical one)? It's considerably less awkward to think about that way.

Considering I have no idea what the difference between stressed and unstressed syllables and long and short ones are, yes .

[bahihs]

This is why such conventions are used