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Author Topic: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.  (Read 9463 times)

Worldmaster27

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG)
« Reply #105 on: March 31, 2015, 04:51:36 pm »

+Weirdsound
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Mlamlah

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG)
« Reply #106 on: April 03, 2015, 11:51:25 pm »

"Hammerspace"
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Other Claimed Possessions
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You follow Florentine inside, keeping a close eye on him as he steps into the kitchen from his backyard patio and picks up a landline phone from the counter. He eyes you uncertainly before taking a deep breath and punching a number into the phone. That call rings to voicemail, and after viewing your look of displeasure he punches in a new number, this one only ringing twice before someone on the other end picks up. You step close enough to overhear what's said, just in case he tries something.

"Listen it's uh... Jacky, yeah, umm, this is important. Remember what i talked to you about earlier? Well, umm, the guy i sent to take care of it is dead, and the... thing that offed him wants to talk to you." Uncertainly he moves to give the landline to you, before you shake your head and point to the cell-phone still sitting in your palm. At that Florentine gives the voice on the other end Ray's phone number, which rings a couple minutes after Jacky hangs up.

Uninterested in whatever puny threats this mortal can conjure against you, you launch straight into your own demands, putting an edge of appropriate menace and power into your voice. "I will not yet tell you who or what I am, but rest assured that I am no mere crawly thing. I was summoned to this world to dismantle the Crimson, and I intend to start with their smaller client factions. Luckily for you, I know the Mastiff's do not associate with the Crimson by choice, and I propose a partnership. I will even perform an act of good faith before I demand you answer this proposal.

Some time in the next 5 days to 2 weeks, I will arrange for the Nightcrawlers to take the brunt of the blame for the shopping mall incident, and the Crimson themselves may draw some heat as well. Use this advance notice for your own gain, but don't tip anybody off. Prepare yourself to take over any of the Crawler's rackets and/or turf that you might want should the police dismantle the organization. Once the shit starts hitting the fan, you have one week to call me after sundown and arrange a meeting at which we will negotiate a plan to destroy the Crimson and leave much of their worldly wealth in the hands of the Mastiffs. If you do not call me, the Mastiffs will be the next group in my crosshairs, so make sure Ray's cell bill is payed.
"

Again, not interested in any response he might have until he's been shown that you can back up your words with deeds you hang up, stowing away the cell phone. Florentine, also having served his purpose is no longer worth your time ("At least as far as i'm concerned") so you leave summarily, without offering him any more of your precious moments.

Once back into the backyard you transform into a bird and launch into the air. You spend a little over an hour scouting out various rooftop locations you could easily reach which also happen to have usable outlets, finding a few dozen places that will do nicely scattered across various city locations. Now for stage three of the plan, finding, hunting, killing and eating nightcrawlers. It strikes you that you don't quite know where to find them reliably.
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Mlamlah

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG)
« Reply #107 on: April 16, 2015, 01:35:44 am »

So this one just might be dead. I'd like to open the floor for constructive criticism. I realize my approach was slightly unconventional here, but i wanted to try something different.

I kinda like to juggle two games at once, so feel free to make suggestions on what my next suggestion game might be. I've been considering rebooting Trader of Favors ever since i ended it due to the DF update (which was a game featuring a creature that fed on and used emotions and the concept of "Debt" as a source of power, set in a Dwarf Fortress Universe.) But i'd also be willing to entertain notions on other sorts of suggestion games you might like to see, or even ideas on multiplayer strategy games.

Favored Themes include: Intrigue, strategy and management, dark fantasy, politics, magic, monsters.
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Andres

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #108 on: April 16, 2015, 03:09:21 am »

I don't really have much criticism for this game considering I didn't follow it or read it. I'd like to say why I didn't get into it in the first place but I'm not really sure why. Well, I know that it didn't interest me but that's not really a proper answer.
I guess maybe the gameplay was too vague? As one who's only read the first page, it didn't really feel like we had any tangible and interesting goals we could strive towards and this is set in our world so exploration wouldn't really be a thing.
The demon's powers weren't very well-defined either, at least at the start, not to mention a bit boring in that the only thing we seemed to be able to do was morph our body. Now, reading Animorphs tells me that having a single power (pretty much the same power, no less) is fine depending on what the power is used for (or against) but again, it didn't really feel that special when using it in a mundane world. It just presents no challenge.
Ok, the first sentence turned out to be a lie but I feel I've made a few points. Take the advice as you will, even throw it out if you want because for all I know I could be talking out of my arse.

As for rebooting Trader of Favors, I'd love to see it up again, if you think you can handle the math involved (I believe that's the reason you stopped). I'll have to train my brain to ignore the spelling of "Favors", though. :P
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Mlamlah

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #109 on: April 16, 2015, 04:21:35 am »

I'd actually probably agree i was too vague to begin with. I suppose i wanted to just sort of dive into it and see what happened. This one wasn't exactly meticulously planned in it's implementation, and i kind of just let the readers stumble into the basic mechanics rather than explaining how they worked right away and getting it out of the way.

Trader of Favours actually ended mostly because i had set it in an adapted version of a DF world i generated, and then DF went to .40 and i wasn't sure wether or not i wanted to transplant the game into a new setting or not. I also got a little bit too strict with myself on book-keeping , and it didn't help that i was transcribing and cross referencing quite a bit from the DF Legends, which can be... cumbersome and time consuming to use.

I'll have to train my brain to ignore the spelling of "Favors", though. :P

I do writing work across the english speaking world, so my brain gets hella confused about sticking to only one version of english words, and i'm not always using the same spellcheck. Expect my exact spelling of words such as colour to fluctuate. =p
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Andres

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #110 on: April 16, 2015, 07:19:55 am »

Maybe you ought to set it in its own unique world. DF Legends is....less than optimal for creating a playable SG world, I would think. Based on your work on Prince and Seeker of Spellcraft I'd say you're pretty good at world-creation.
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Generally me

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #111 on: April 16, 2015, 07:27:05 am »

I would like to see trader of favours start up again, it was very good.
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3man75

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG)
« Reply #112 on: April 16, 2015, 07:32:36 am »

So this one just might be dead. I'd like to open the floor for constructive criticism. I realize my approach was slightly unconventional here, but i wanted to try something different.

I kinda like to juggle two games at once, so feel free to make suggestions on what my next suggestion game might be. I've been considering rebooting Trader of Favors ever since i ended it due to the DF update (which was a game featuring a creature that fed on and used emotions and the concept of "Debt" as a source of power, set in a Dwarf Fortress Universe.) But i'd also be willing to entertain notions on other sorts of suggestion games you might like to see, or even ideas on multiplayer strategy games.

Favored Themes include: Intrigue, strategy and management, dark fantasy, politics, magic, monsters.

I coudn't get into this game very much but I will say that the story felt a bit jumped on. Then again its an SG so I don't expect voltaire, victor hugo, or whatever awesome writing skill here. Although of all of the writers on this side of the forum your definitely my favorite and damn good with your stories.

Personally, I'd like to see an SG set in a sort of Weimar republic dark fantasy world of politics and magic. Sort like the King is dying and the Prince is too young to really rule so a parliament is taking over. Said parliament is being corrupted by a Hitler type character that wants to exterminate all those not involved in their version of the master plan. The player is the brother of the King but born out of wedlock and is not allowed to inherit the throne but he loves his brother. So you use your connecntions to counter the Nazi party in the parliament, keep foreigners from stealing from the country, and prevent a civil war or anarchy in the street.

Although you'll have to do so without much sponsorship as most of the country is broken up by the recent loss to an Empire of Orcs who subtlety sponsor hiters party. What do you think Mlam?



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Mlamlah

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #113 on: April 16, 2015, 08:00:42 am »

It's a little too specific and allegorical for me to want to work it into something of my own, but it sounds sort of like it's something that's been stewing in your mind for a while, and there are a couple interesting ideas in there.

Is it an idea you've been thinking of implementing yourself?
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3man75

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #114 on: April 16, 2015, 08:53:56 am »

I have multiple times. There was once I got sort of close with an SG i made called Regent where the players made suggestion to a leader of a country that was torn between independence or supporting one of the two biggest warring powers. I was also going to trow in a curve ball by having insurrections and sabotage within the country that forced the player to react a certain way. But that fizzled out because I didn't think I was delivering the story very well.

To me the idea of Governance and Ideology are extremely fascinating. Although it can be distorting since, well no one practices what they preach or have a personal ulterior motive.
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The Froggy Ninja

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #115 on: April 16, 2015, 09:40:54 am »

I had a cool idea a while ago I put in an up for grabs thread thanks to my wild imagination running off with something Jessie Cox said:
Quote from: The Froggy Ninja
You are the Prophet of Glen the Space Butterfly (may His wings flap forever) who's Dreamscape  is home to our universe. You must gather a new Counsel of Fourteen and prepare the Followers of Glen (may His wings flap forever) for The Wakening, an event that occurs once every several hundred years when Glen (may His wings flap forever) wakes up to sip the Moon-Nectar that give Him life. From our perspective it amounts to a several hour long complete sensory blackout followed by the laws of physics changing in some way. The problem is that Glen (may His wings flap forever) worship is rare in modern times and a temple is required to anchor our world to His subconscious.
(If you do this please PM me as I want to see what you do with it.)
So we can go all political with minor magic and then after the wakening Things get crazy.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2015, 09:42:25 am by The Froggy Ninja »
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3man75

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #116 on: April 16, 2015, 05:30:02 pm »

Personally don't like prophet type games because they get boring too quickly I feel.

New idea

1. Gunniamrium made an SG about an organization of soldiers (like X-COM) take on bio terroirsts. Mabye you can do something like that.

Above is an idea I copied and pasted from another thread. As well as this new idea.

2. New Princeship? Loved the first one why not a second one?

3. Company An SG where you run a space based Dutch East India trade company. Your mission is to expolit the galaxy of its resources but not piss of to many people while doing so.
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Generally me

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #117 on: April 16, 2015, 05:40:54 pm »

I would like to see a plain and simple necromancer SG, all the ones I've read have some kind of twist or dive to far into how the magic works. Also a bit less keeping track of stuff and rolling dice more just good writing and story.
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3man75

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #118 on: April 16, 2015, 06:04:51 pm »

I would like to see a plain and simple necromancer SG, all the ones I've read have some kind of twist or dive to far into how the magic works. Also a bit less keeping track of stuff and rolling dice more just good writing and story.

+1 and one where we can tear an oppresive kingdom apart. I just like to see Armoured Knights charge head on into a mass of a zombie horde and having to fight off the piling undead. All the while the source is safe from any danger.

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Andres

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Re: Thieves and Demons (SG) Open for Criticism.
« Reply #119 on: April 16, 2015, 06:26:37 pm »

1. Gunniamrium made an SG about an organization of soldiers (like X-COM) take on bio terroirsts. Mabye you can do something like that.
I believe his name is GUNINANRUNIN. It's "gun in and run in" without the 'd' in "and", without spaces, and in all-caps.

Here's my suggestion: 'big fish-gigantic pond'. Basically, we play as a very powerful entity like a dragon or a king and we're appropriately powerful compared to mortals or plebs. The challenge comes that we're ultimately nothing compared to the even more powerful entities such as demons and titans and gods and stuff who are all very physically active on the world and aren't just some background power, and that's not even mentioning other dragons/kings/whatevers. Basically Ye Gods from the point of view of normal beings.
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