Operation "Fucking New Guy"
Notes: We'll be playing Alpha Protocol at "Normal" difficulty.
Excerpt from the reports of Alpha Protocol Retrieval Team One
Senior Recruitment Agent Anderson: "Alright, listen up assholes, I'm only going over this once. As some of you know, due to the recent terrorist attack, we need to bring in some new blood and have him deal with this shit. No, Rickardson, I have no idea why Alpha Protocol hires teams like us only to bring in newbies to deal with all the field work. No, just no, Rickardson. SHUT UP! *Ahem* Now, organizations like ours recruit from one of four places usually:"
"You've got your soldiers. They're damn grunts, but too smart for catching bullets, so their CO's refer them up the ladder to us. They're much more combat capable than our other recruits, with training in SMGs and Assault Rifles. As in watch yourselves out there, AND I MEAN YOU CONRAD! FUCK! TIE YOUR DAMN LACES!"
"Most of us might have come Field Agent assignments, and we got picked up for this gig by sheer skill. By that one I mean me. You learn the ins and outs of stealth in the field and spend time learning the correct way to use pistols on the job. You fucks, however, are as useless as tits on a gorilla. I KNOW THEY'RE BREAST FEEDING MAMMALS, RICKARDSON, FUCK."
"And you've got your "high-school genius" Tech Specialists. MIT or some such place gets one of those Steven Hawking types who skip multiple grades and shit, and want better jobs than maintaining porn servers for a living, so their connected professors contact the CIA or something, and we kidnap them for our side. Simple. I know you got 90 on the tech exams last time, Clark, you fucking nerd. What are you doing in my damn squad then? Yeah, that's what I thought."
"Sometimes when you want some extra deniability in this field, you hire a Freelancer. No shitting, these guys are a mixed bunch, this one guy was a real stealthy type, good with gadgets, ya know; and this other time we got Conrad. Yeah, you, you asshat. No telling what you get with these guys though, but they've usually seen some action.
"I.....I don't even...." *Exasperated sigh and facepalm* "I don't know what commands been smoking, hiring such a raw Recruit. I mean look at the guy's record. Three months on the job. THREE MONTHS. Shit. No skills what-so-ever, no knowledge of how the real espionage game is played, hell, I bet he even thinks crack cocaine was a government plot to keep the black man down! *Loud laughter from all team members, including Senior Agent Anderson* "But, I mean it was, you know."
"Our target is a one; Michael Thorton. He's not former military, not formerly with Langley, nothing. The guy scored high exam marks while working for the Department of Justice. Yeah, I know. Here's his current skills sheet:"
"Emptier than a daytime strip joint. Last known photo:"
Mike Thorton
"Dammit, Clark."
Mike Thorton
"This was taken one month ago, but we can assume he may have grown facial hair or something. This operation will be standard procedure, get in, drug him, extract him. We'll wait for him to get out of his co-worker's daughters Sweet Sixteen party in two days, then we'll jump him. Clark, you're on blindfold duty, Conrad, you're on bindings. Any questions? Yeah, Conrad?" "Permission to raid the party for cake while we're there?" *Agent Anderson's face freezes, then angrily stares holes into Agent Conrad's skull*
Operation Commencing: 2/21/15.