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[rabidgam3r]

Granted, but you can only transform into a quadriplegic kobold.

I wish to be melted by !!MAGMA!!

[wer6]

Granted However: You were unconsucious when you melted: so you didnt felt nearly a kibble being scuffed.

I wsh for a british aceent.

[rabidgam3r]

Granted, but having a british accent is punishable by a slow, painful death.

I wanna be a CARP!

[Jellycat12]

Granted. You are now a carp. You slowly suffocate due to not being in water.

I wish for a British Aceent.

[wer6]

You are born in realife: so you anrt deadly at all: you are then farmed like cows for food: you are forced too be cooked live 10 seconds afdter you are born

I wish for a team of scientist that whenever I request somthing Eg: A rail gun they will get it done easily.

DUK A NINJA

Granted hwoever: a accent now means a self toture machine: using crappy jokes as torture.

[scapheap]

Granted, they explode a lot

I wish a painful death on all british people(I'm british)

[Komra]

Granted, mandatory-use acidic suicide booths have been set up and everyone who uses them receives one (1) serving of tea, which is delivered to any surviving family members waiting in line. Government authorities, however, are exempt due to declaring themselves non-British.

I wish to become a human who is displaced one (1) centimeter to the west from my current position.

[Jbg97]

Granted. Due to the solar system moving thousands of miles a second, you are displaced into space to have all your bodily fluids evaporate followed by death.
I wish for a robot puppy.

[Mlamlah]

The robot puppy is remarkable. Superior to regular puppies in every way, and even capable of reproducing. The puppies are so good at reproducing in fact, that they quickly overwhelm the planet with numbers. They create their progeny from whatever metal happens to be around, and soon the infrastructure of the world collapses, most technology destroyed, all in the mad dash to reproduce.

I wish for a phone that was actually smart.

[Corruptor]

Granted. The phone becomes skynet and exterminates humanity within a month.

I wish for fully immersive Virtual Reality.

[Mlamlah]

Granted, it's so immersive that you forget it isn't real, and starve to death eating food that provides no sustenance.

I wish for the power to heal the wounds and ills of others.

[Corruptor]

Granted. You are swiftly assassinated by the medical industry, who dislike competition.

I wish that a black hole on the other side of the universe from the Milky Way would disappear.

[Jbg97]

Granted. The alien civilization the black hole was going to consume soon rises up and wipes out humanity.
I wish this thread would end.

[Evilsx]

Granted, the thread soon dies, then the section and Bay 12 forum soon dies due to a sudden virus that soon destroys the internet
I wish for a new name

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. Your name is Mud.

I wish my name sounded cooler without being ludicrous.