Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Xantalos]

Granted. You eat it and your stomach explodes.

I wish for bacon. Fresh, sizzling, tasty bacon.

[Strife26]

Granted, you fall on top of it, unfortunately turning it to naught but crumbs.



Granted, it's both fresh and sizzling. Very fresh and sizzling. Ohmygodburninggreaseeverywherehelp!

I wish that my quarters were provided with a functioning dishwasher.

[Joben]

You get your dishwasher, but you now have to pay an employee which is very expensive. (See what I did there?) Also your tax returns become significantly more complicated.

I wish I had a CNC Router.

[lemon10]

Granted, you get a Chinese National Communication router. Sadly, the Chinese assassinate you and take the router back shortly after.

I wish pigs flew.

[Strife26]

Granted. It negatively affects bacon everywhere, due to massive pig escapes. Wild boar-hybrids with aerial capabilities quickly become prevalent, nesting in the clouds, causing planes to crash, as well as increased forays into populated areas. Eventually, environmental pressures for the wild wing boars to become increasingly savage and large. Fragmenting society quickly deems it to be the work of higher powers, venerating the pig in all it's forms.



I wish that my great coat would finally be finished at the tailor's, and that whatever terrible mistake he made on it has been repaired in a suitable fashion.

[lemon10]

Granted. It negatively affects bacon everywhere, due to massive pig escapes. Wild boar-hybrids with aerial capabilities quickly become prevalent, nesting in the clouds, causing planes to crash, as well as increased forays into populated areas. Eventually, environmental pressures for the wild wing boars to become increasingly savage and large. Fragmenting society quickly deems it to be the work of higher powers, venerating the pig in all it's forms.

((That sounds totally awesome))

Granted, the tailor finishes your great coat, and although he made a bad mistake, he fixes it. He fixes it so well in fact that it is now the most perfect piece of clothing to ever exist. Sadly he decides to keep it, and since he is now worshiped as a god due to the powers of his amazing coat, you are killed by his fanatical worshipers when you try to steal it back.

I wish America would get invaded by a high fantasy empire (eg. high as in kings and mages and dragons and such, not high as in hopped up on drugs).

[Xantalos]

Granted. However, some supermage does a spell wrong and the earth asplode.

I wish ... I wish ... I wish for happiness.

[Mlamlah]

You receive it, in fact the wish is so fulfilled that everyone recieves it. No one has ever been this happy ever! Everyone in the world enters a stupor of euphoric bliss, no one bothering to do a thing. Sadly, this also means that almost everyone dies of dehydration, the rest dying from mishaps of negligence.

I wish for life to be simple for at least a little while.

[lemon10]

Granted, a Elder Being sees your wish and decides to grant it, sadly for you he doesn't realize that humans don't like pain, and for the next fifteen years you are in constant unthinking agony. When he finally stops, your mind is broken and you are completely insane.

I wish for bacon flavored bacon, made from reconstituted bacon.

[pisskop]

Spoiler: wtf was I responding to? (click to show/hide)

Granted, but nobody notices with the election.  Obama still wants a country of socialized ignorance incompetants and Romney still wants to play reverse robin hood while oppressing your 'right to legal, safe weed'.

Granted.  Its the global cure for starvation and it is shipped en mass to the poor worldwide.  side effects include dehydration and malnutrition.

I really wish the election was over, even if my choice lost...

[adasdad]

DC gets nuked. nice going there.

I wish that i would die an absolutely horrible, painful death

[Cassandra]

You do. Several times, just for spite.

I wish for... Urist's happiness.

[Jellycat12]

Granted. Urist becomes happy through your death.

I wish for fish!

[Cassandra]

Granted. A giant fish drops from the sky, eats you, then flops into the ocean.

I wish that I was the overseer of a fortress.

[Aseaheru]

granted! you die from colliding into it.