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[Mr Space Cat]

Granted. You now have a Utahraptor in your bedroom.

I wish real life was cooler.

[Vorthon]

Granted. The average global temperature suddenly plummets by several degrees, and the world is plunged into the depths of another ice age. Cool enough for ya?

I wish I was a god. With a portfolio that wasn't stupid or weak.

[Spinal_Taper]

You are a god. However, you go power-mad, so The Doctor shows up for no reason, talks for a while, then kills you.

I wish I were The Doctor.

[Techhead]

Granted. You bring about a new Ice Age as the world climate becomes 15 degrees cooler.

Granted. You become the god of geniuses with super-strength. Now if only there were more of them.

Granted. I don't know why you would want to be a Cheap Trick album, but whatever.

I wish for a pet mastodon.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. You now have a Utahraptor in your bedroom.

That's not

in a secure enclosure.

-----

Granted. You cannot feed it and it starves. You now have a rotting mastodon in your house.

I wish I had a sefely-trained, declawed Utahraptor in a secure pen as a pet.

[Mlamlah]

Granted. You cannot feed it and it starves. You now have a rotting mastodon in your house.

Yay! Miasma! My favourite!
Anyway.
You have a safely trained, declawed Utahraptor in a secure pen, but it's depressed. Look how sad it is, look at it!
I wish to be a child raised be a giant talking tree among little forest elves.

[kaijyuu]

Granted. You grow up amongst the Keebler elves and are forced to work in their snack food factories until the day you die.


I wish my keyboard didn't have so much gunk stuck in it.

[Mr Space Cat]

I wish to be a child raised be a giant talking tree among little forest elves.

Granted. You grow up raised by a giant talking tree, with fond memories of the giant talking tree teaching you how to step on the little forest elves without getting too much elf bits between your toes. Ah, what a wonderful sixth birthday that was for you. For the elves... not so much.

I wish my keyboard didn't have so much gunk stuck in it.

Poof, your keyboard has dissappeared, leaving behind a pile of gunk that looks quite not-stuck-to-keyboard-ish.

I wish to forge a ring of unmatched power to wield and destroy the Jedi, allowing me to build the greatest Empire to ever rule the galaxy.

[GreatWyrmGold]

You get such a ring. Sadly, it does not come with time or space travel, the Jedi are long extinct, and there isn't much Force in this galaxy.

I wish my Utahraptor was happy.

[Spinal_Taper]

It's so happy, it cuddles you.

I wish I knew what that meant.

[misko27]

Granted. What it means is that Its hit sexual maturity. Cuddling is utahrapter foreplay.

I wish I was there were fewer insects in my house.

[Corai]

Hundreds of arachnids come and eat all the insects.

I wish for a hug.

[Mr Space Cat]

Granted. your future self steps out from nowhere, claiming he came back in time to stop the world from falling into anarchy by giving you a hug. You get a hug, but the future doesn't change, as you will soon find out.

I wish for t-rexes in F14s.

[misko27]

Hundreds of arachnids come and eat all the insects.

(note: this is actually occuring. I can't say its not an improvement.)

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. your future self steps out from nowhere, claiming he came back in time to stop the world from falling into anarchy by giving you a hug. You get a hug, but the future doesn't change, as you will soon find out.

I wish for t-rexes in F14s.

Granted. They crash into your house, because their little arms can't reach the controls.

I wish for a tame, declawed mate for my Utahraptor.