OH GOOD SOMEONE FINALLY POSTS SO GM CAN UPDATE WITHOUT DOUBLE-POSTING
THAT WOULD BE LAME
ANYWAYHA HA
GM WROTE THAT SEVERAL DAYS AGO WHEN HE MEANT TO UPDATE
WHOOPSROLL TO THRASH YOINK
[1] YOU NOT THRASH GM
GM THRASH
YOU Item Lost: Upper Front Teeth!
Item Lost: Consciousness!
Injuries Gained: Various! NEVER TRUST YOINK, GO HYPOCRISY!
HYPOCRISY WRONG WORD
GM ABOVE YOUR PETTY MORTAL JUDGEMENTS
SILLY
Take the wheel. Remember my time with the Mujahedeen and put my Afghan cross-country driving skills to good use.
[3] YOU JUMP INTO DRIVERS SEAT, STROKE BEARD AND GRAB WHEEL
SUDDENLY THERE IS SHARP PAIN IN SIDE OF HEAD AND YOU FALLING INTO DARKNESS
GUESS SOMEONE NOT TRUST YOUR DRIVING SKILLS...
Item Lost: Consciousness!...
SCREW IT, MABYE IT'll LOOP AROUND, START MAKING SUGGESTIVE HIP THRUSTING GESTURES WHILE IMPLYING THAT THE NATIVE SPIRITS HAD A GOAT FOR A MOTHER.
THIS IS A GREAT IDEA
YOU START THRUSTING YOUR HIPS AGGRESSIVELY IN BACK SEAT OF BUS
SOME ODD LOOKS FROM OTHERS SITTING NEARBY
HOLD ON, GM FINDING CRUDDY ONLINE CURSE GENERATOR TO USE...ROLLING 1D4... [1] OKAY, SO FEEBLE CURSE, NEXT TABLE... 1D12... [9]HOLY SHIT, WAIT! WHAT'S THIS IN YOUR POCKET... IT'S A MAGICAL BOTTLE CAP IMBUED WITH POWER OF THE ROCK GODS!
"9: Become convinced that one minor item is a very important magic item and will not part with it"YOU NOT NEED TO FEAR ANY SILLY FOREST SPIRITS NOW! HA! HAHAHA!
Item Gained: Magical Bottle Cap Imbued With Power of Rock Gods! *SNORT*Become rock wizard. Create fancy pyrotechnic explosions everywhere.
WHAT?! HOW YOU PLANNING TO DO THAT? YOU NOT EVEN HAVE ANY MAGICAL ARTEFACT STUFF. THIS MAKE NO SENSE EVEN BY MY STANDARDS JEEZ
OH WELL HERE GOES
[5-1] YOU GAIN ABILITY TO SHOOT SMALL FIREWORKS FROM FINGERTIPS
SOMEHOW
Class Gained: Pyrotechnic Wizard!
Spell Learnt: Launch Firework! (Minor)
Find a way to get out of my kick drum without breaking it!
[4]DRUM TOPPLES OVER AS YOU TRY TO LOOSEN SCREWS FROM INSIDE
THANKFULLY SOME HELPFUL PERSON MANAGES TO FREE YOU FROM THE DRUM!... AS HE SETS UP THE DRUM KIT TO START PRACTICING
Item Gained: Freedom!Slay the final boss with a sword made of kitten souls, then search his body for the power to make dreams become real.
[4]YOU DREAM UP LOTS AND LOTS OF KITTENS, FORGE THEIR POOR MEWLING SOULS INTO IMPROBABLY LARGE SWORD
IS PRETTY MEAN. ALSO METAL. FINAL BOSS NOT STAND A CHANCE, YOU RIDE MOTORBIKE OFF CLIFF JUST AS IT FALLS APART, FALL DOWN IN SLOW-MOTION WITH A BATTLE CRY AND PLUNGE SWORD INTO HIS
HEAD WEAK POINT, PROMPTING DRAMATIC EXPLOSION OF MULTI-COLOURED FLAMES AND GHOSTS AND SHIT.
THEN YOU WAKE UP.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY WRITING IT DOWN?...
OH HEY APPARENTLY BUS IS MOVING SOMEWHERE NOW
YOU ARE ON BUS, LUCKILYItem Gained: Consciousness! LOAD FOREST ONTO BUS
YOU FIGURE YOU MIGHT AS WELL PROFIT FROM WEIRD CAMP-OUT IN CURSED FOREST
WHAT BETTER WAY TO MAKE A QUICK BUCK THAN FROM UNLICENSED, ILLEGAL LOGGING?
[1]YOU GET OUT YOUR AXE AND HURRY OFF TO CHOP DOWN A NEARBY TREE
IS A PRETTY BIG TREE, SHOULD PROBABLY BE WORTH LOTS OF DOLLARS
UNFORTUNATELY THE TREE FALLS ON YOU AFTER A GOOD 10-20 MINUTES OF CHOPPING AWAY AT IT
YOU ARE CRUSHED INTO A BLOODY MANGLED PULP
DID THE
CURSED FOREST JUST CLAIM ANOTHER VICTIM??!
Item Gained: Wood Axe!
Item Gained: Lumberjack Cap!
Item Lost: Life!
State Gained: Dead! ...Also maybe CURSED!
CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE FIRST DEATH!! Aah, bugger it.
Wake up. Remember I'm a Hoopy Frood and look for my towel.
[1]YOU REGAIN NEITHER CONSCIOUSNESS OR TOWEL
YOU ARE PERHAPS THE LEAST HOOPY FROOD EVER
OK, LUCKLY THE PRESIDENT DIDN'T JUST PLAY ENY MINI MINEI MO ON THE GENERALS AND PICK ME. BECAUSE I AM VERY ADAPTABLE IN MANY SITUATIONS. NOW JUST CHECK FOR THE STUFF I HAVE ON ME.
[5]YOU HAVE A ROLL OF STICKY TAPE, SNAZZY BLACK TOOLBELT WITH WIRECUTTERS, CORDLESS DRILL, ELECTRONIC SKELETON KEY ETC.
ALSO A SNUB-NOSED .38 REVOLVER, A BAG OF CASK WINE, A PAIR OF BLACK RAYBANS AND A STICK OF GUM
HUH
SOMEHOW YOU STILL HAVE ALL THIS STUFF
Look for an instrument to play with, then make a song to call out every demon in these woods.
[1]
NO, SABERTOOTH
YOU ARE THE DEMONS
USE POWER OF ROCK TO CURE HANGOVERS
[6]YOU STEAL UNCONSCIOUS TERRORIST-LOOKING DUDE'S ROCK
SLAM IT INTO SIDE OF HEAD A COUPLE OF TIMES
...HUH, ACTUALLY FEEL A BIT BETTER SOMEHOW
PRETTY WOOZY THOUGH
Item Gained: Rock!
Item Lost: Hangover!
Item Gained: Serious Concussion!
HANGOVER CURED! ...Kinda.PLAY THE PINK PANTHER THEME AT POKETWO
[4] YOU LEAN OUT SIDE WINDOW OF BUS, PLAY PINK PANTHER THEME AT THE GUY CHAINED TO REAR BUMPER
I AM SURE HE IS IMPRESSED
Not having a seizure? Okay! Whilst the bus is driving, practice the drums.
[5] YOU SET UP DRUM KIT, SOMEHOW HARMLESSLY REMOVE HAPLESS PERSON STUCK INSIDE KICKDRUM, GRAB PAIR OF STICKS AND BEGIN JAMMING. SOMEHOW KIT DOESN'T SLIDE APART AND FALL OVER AS SOON AS BUS MOVES. THAT PRETTY IMPRESSIVE
YOU THINK YOU HAVE SOME IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
Item Gained: Drum Stick X2!
Item Gained: Drum Kit!
Skill Increased: Drumming!Defend my position as driver of the bus, wish luck to the guy chained to the bumper, and high-tail it to Normville as the first stop on our world tour.
[4]SOME BEARDY PRICK WITH A ROCK TRIES TO USURP YOUR SPOT IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT AFTER YOU DID ALL THE WORK
A QUICK SMACK OVER THE HEAD WITH THAT OTHER GUY'S ROLLED-UP MAP SENDS HIM SPRAWLING, THOUGH. HUH. I GUESS PAPER REALLY DOES BEAT ROCK. YOU SHUFFLE HIM OUT OF WAY AND SIT DOWN, GRAB THE WHEEL AND PRESS DOWN THE ACCELERATOR BENEATH YOUR [1] PEG-LEG. BUS ROLLS INTO MOTION, EVER SO SLOWLY BEFORE PICKING UP SPEED.
Injury Acquired: Missing Lower Leg!
Item Gained: Peg Leg!
The Bus Is In Motion! NEXT STOP: NORMVILLE! Still got to make it out of this creepy damn forest, though...NOW IT IS TIME FOR SOME OPPOSED ROLLS OOOOOOOOOO FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
MASKED_KRUSADER: 4
VS
DARKPALADIN109: 5
HMM. OKAY. UH.
Steal darkpaladin's facemask.
[4] HAVING SEEN THE PSYCHO CUTTING OFF HIS OWN FACE BEFORE SLOPPING IT BACK ON LIKE SOME SORT OF GROTESQUE MASK BEFORE PASSING OUT, YOU DECIDE TO DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT ANY SANE PERSON WOULD DO AND SNEAK UP TO GRAB HIS CREATION FOR YOURSELF
YOU SHUFFLE SLOWLY ACROSS BUS, STEPPING AS QUIETLY AS POSSIBLE OVER/AROUND SLEEPING PEOPLE AND EMPTY BOTTLES
REACHING EVER-SO-SLOWLY OUT TO TAKE THE MASK...
YOU ALMOST GOT IT...
YOUR FINGERS BRUSH IT AND BEGIN TO CLOSE...
HIS MADDENED EYES SUDDENLY FLICK OPEN, STARING AT YOU THROUGH THE BLOODY RUIN OF HIS FACE-MASK-FACE-MESS-THING!
AAAAAAAHH!! HE LEAPS UP AND STABS YOU IN FACE WITH SKINNING KNIFE!YOU STUMBLE BACKWARDS WITH CRAZY MASK MAN PERCHED ON YOUR CHEST LIKE SOME SORT OF DEMENTED CHIMPANZEE ON CRACK, WORKING HIS KNIFE BACK AND FORTH IN THE STAB WOUND TRYING TO
REMOVE YOUR FACE! YOUR
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!! IT HURTS. A LOT. AAAAAAHH!
Injury Gained: Partially Sliced-Off Face(which may quite possibly become full-sliced-off in the near future)!TRY TO WAKE UP
SKIN FACEMASK THIEF'S FACE FOR FACEMASK
[5]YOU SOMEHOW MANAGE TO WAKE UP, BLINK THE BLOOD OUT OF YOUR EYES THEN PRETEND TO BE UNCONSCIOUS
YOU LIE IN WAIT UNTIL YOUR VICTIM COMES CLOSER, REACHING OUT TOWARDS YOUR FACE-MASK-FACE-MESS-THING
THEN YOU
STRIKE. YOU JUMP ON HIM AND JAB YOUR KNIFE INTO SIDE OF HIS FACE, START TO SLICE BACK AND FORTH AS HE STUMBLES AROUND
State Entered: Sawing Someone's Face Off!Search for all the consciousness!
[6]YOU REGAIN
ALL THE CONSCIOUSNESSES
AS IN, YOU ARE NOW AWARE OF THE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS OF EVERY LIVING CREATURE WITHIN ABOUT 100 MILES
THIS FEELS VERY STRANGE... LIKE YOUR MIND IS BEING STRETCHED PAINFULLY BEYOND ITS NORMAL DIMENSIONS
SURF INTO TOWN ON MY FLYING GUITAR WHILE UNCONSIOUS.
[6]YOU ARE NOW HURTLING TOWARDS THE SMALL TOWN OF NORMVILLE ATOP A WHITE-HOT GIANT GUITAR OF DESTRUCTION. WITH A BADASS SOUNDTRACK OF COURSE. IS THIS A DREAM? IT CERTAINLY FEELS PRETTY REAL... YOU CAN FEEL THE WIND SMACKING INTO YOUR FACE, THE GUITAR SHIFTING ACROSS AIR CURRENTS BENEATH YOUR [6]BADASS SPIKY BOOT-CLAD FEET, AND LOOKING BACK YOU CAN SEE THE VAN TRUNDLING ALONG THE PATH BELOW YOU
THIS KIND OF WORRYING
YOU PRETTY HIGH UP
Item Gained: Consciousness!
State Entered: Flying Towards Normville on Giant Guitar!
ETA: Two Turns! if we are gonna wait a while, I guess my character still has time to poop in the forest.
I don't know why .... I just don't know why I do these things.
OH YOU A FUNNY GUY HUH?
REAL FUNNY.
I SUPPOSE UPDATE
HAS TAKEN A WHILE, SO... YEAH, YOU CAN HAVE TIME TO POOP.
YOU HAVE THE MOST LUXURIOUS, RELAXING-YET-TIME EFFICIENT POOP YOU CAN REMEMBER HAVING HAD EVER IN YOUR LIFE EVER.
EVEN THE FACELESS DEMON WITH GLOWY RED EYES AND FANGS AS LONG AS YOUR ARM THAT LEAPS OUT FROM BEHIND A TREE APOLOGIZES PROFUSELY WHEN HE SEES YOUR STATE, DROPPING POLITELY BACK OUT OF SIGHT TO LET YOU FINISH. TRULY, THIS POOP IS A GOD AMONG POOPS. IT EVEN WIPES OFF NICE AND EASILY, UNLIKE ANY NATURAL HANGOVER POOP EVER. WOW.
...ANYWAY, YOU FINISH POOPING/WIPING/FEELING AWESOME/TIME TRAVELLING AND MAKE IT BACK TO THE BUS JUST IN TIME TO CLIMB ABOARD BEFORE IT SETS OFF. THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, WISEGUY? BE THANKFUL YOU DIDN'T END UP WITH A
SEPTIC DETONATION.
Item Consumed: Sheet of Toilet Paper x4!
Ability Learned: Time Travel Poop Power! BUS IS MOVING! FINALLY!
NORMVILLE HERE WE COME!
THAT IS, IF YOU MAKE IT OUT OF CREEPY MONSTER-RIDDEN CURSED FOREST, AND IF CRAZY MAGICAL GUITARIST DOESN'T CRASH GIANT GUITAR INTO TOWN BEFORE YOU GET THERE... DID I MENTION CRAZY MAN CUTTING OFF PEOPLE'S FACES OR THE POSSIBLE DEMONIC POSSESSION? NO?
WELL YEAH THIS COULD GET PROBLEMATIC. YOU STILL NOT HAVE ANY BOOZE EITHER.
>WHAT NOW?
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Topic: ROLL TO THRASH (Read 16700 times)