WAS UPDATING
THEN COMPUTER LOCKED UP WHEN TRYING TO LOAD SOMETHING
GM UNPLUG COMPUTER IN FIT OF RAGE
WHOOPS
LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN
Poke GM into updating.
[3] YOU POKE GM. ANGRY GM BITE YOUR HAND! AAAAAAAHH!
Item Lost: Finger x3!THRASH!
AS IN, THRASH AROUND LITERALLY BECAUSE I AM SEIZING OH GOD SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE
[3] YOU THRASH AROUND ON GROUND EMITTING HIDEOUS SHRIEKS
NOT ACTUALLY HAVING SEIZURE THOUGH. SOMEONE LOADS YOU INTO BUS
FIND ALCOHOL LYING AROUND RANDOMLY TO PERFORM THE RITUAL OF FRAT BOY FORGIVENESS TO BE UNCURSED.
THEN ASK FOR A BOOZE TREE.
YOU NOT HAVE ENOUGH BOOZE FOR SUCH A RITUAL
[2] YOU DECIDE TO ASK THE GODS FOR STUFF ANYWAY, WHILST LICKING SPILLED BOOZE OFF OF FLOOR WITH THAT OTHER GUY
PRETTY SURE YOUR OFFSPRING GOING TO BE PART GOAT OR SOMETHING BY NOW
THE GUY YOU RAN INTO EARLIER PULLS YOU ONTO THE BUS AND YOU SIT IN THE BACK AND SULK
State Gained: Even More Cursed!
Do homoerotic frat boy things
WHAT.
...[2-1] YOU SCREAM, "BETA THETA PI!" AND WHACK YOURSELF IN THE GROIN WITH YOUR PROSTHETIC ARM
OUCH
YOU ARE DRAGGED ONTO BUS
State Gained: Prone!
Item Gained: Intense Pain!HIT THE TOWN! WE NEED A GIG!
FIRST YOU NEED TO WORK OUT JUST WHERE YOU ARE, SILLY!
[5+1] YOU FIND OLD YELLOWED MAP IN NEARBY TREE STUMP
...HUH.
APPARENTLY YOU IN 'THE CURSED FOREST'
THAT SOUNDS BAD. TOWN NEARBY, THOUGH... CALLED NORMVILLE. IF YOU CAN
MAKE IT THERE.
YOU CLIMB ONTO BUS, SPREAD MAP ON DASHBOARD
Hit the town! In the face! With my rock!
[6] NEAREST TOWN IS OUT OF MELEE RANGE! YOU CONSULT MAP, CALCULATE ANGLE, THEN THROW ROCK IN DIRECTION OF TOWN!!
...WELL. HOPEFULLY TOWN IS ONLY A STONE'S THROW AWAY. YOU ARE LOADED INTO BUS
Item Lost: Rock! Hit all the players! In the face!
[3] YOU WAKE UP HUNGOVER AND ANGRY ABOUT IT, GET UP AND TRY TO PUNCH NEAREST PERSON IN FACE
HE SIMPLY BUNDLES YOU UP AND THROWS YOU INTO THE BUS LIKE AN INEFFECTUALLY ANGRY SACK OF RAGE-POTATOES
WELL
THAT WAS EMBARASSING
Strum a bit.
[6] YOU GET TO YOUR FEET, GROAN A BIT, THEN GO DIG OUT PETROL GENERATOR
MIRACULOUSLY, STILL HAS FUEL. YOU START IT UP, PLUG IN GUITAR AMP, THEN PLUG IN YOUR BEAT-UP OLD GUITAR
YOU SLIDE STRAP OVER YOUR NECK AND START TO STRUM A BIT, ALL BARRE CHORDS AT BOTTOM OF FRET BOARD OF COURSE
IS SOUNDING OKAY, NOTHING FANCY. FINGERING IS A BIT SLOW, YOU NEED PRACTICE. YOU START CHUGGING OUT A FEW MUTED NOTES
SUDDENLY YOU FEEL STRANGE, IT'S LIKE THERE IS POWER RUNNING THROUGH YOUR BODY
HANDS SPEED UP, SUDDENLY YOU PLAYING AT LIKE DOUBLE THE SPEED OF BEFORE
FUCK YEAH MAN, YOU'RE SHREDDING IT! FOR A FEW MOMENTS AT LEAST, THEN THE AMP BLOWS AND YOU BREAK YOUR LOW-E STRING AND YOU COLLAPSE TO THE GROUND FROM BEING ELECTROCUTED. BUT WOW, MAN, THAT WAS AWESOME
Class Gained: Electric Guitar Warrior!
Skill Increased: Rhythm Guitar!
Item Lost: Consciousness!
Item Broken: Guitar Amp!
Item Gained: Crazy 80s Glam Hairstyle!Regain my footing and attempt to coerce everyone into the bus to get going on our world tour. Also ask around for potential band names.
[5] YOU GET UP, RUBBING YOUR HEAD AND SCOWLING AT CRAZY NATIVE-DANCE DUDE
INSTEAD OF KICKING HIS ASS YOU BEGIN COERCING/DRAGGING PEOPLE ONTO THE BUS INSTEAD
EVEN CRAZY DANCE MAN AND SOME OTHER GUY WHO WAKES UP AND TAKES A SWING AT YOU
THEN YOU GET IN DRIVERS SEAT, PUT BUS IN GEAR AND START THE ENGINE
Bus (More-or-less) Loaded! Good Job!
Bus In Gear!
Bus Started!Get on the roof of the bus and start singing "Bonnie Dundee" and start to piss on the ground nearby.
[6] YOU CLIMB UP ON ROOF OF BUS, WHIP IT OUT AND AND BEGIN DOUSING SURROUNDINGS IN PISS WHILST SINGING
AHHHHHH. THAT'S BETTER. YOU REALLY NEEDED TO PEE, THAT'S FOR SURE.
SUDDENLY ELECTRICITY ARCS UP YOUR PISS-STREAM AND INTO YOUR BODY
WHOOPS
LOOKS LIKE YOU ACCIDENTALLY PISSED ON POWERED-ON GUITAR AMP JUST AS NAV HITTING FASTER PART
YOU GO FLYING BACKWARDS OFF BUS AS ELECTRICITY COURSES THROUGH YOU, LAND HEAVILY ON GROUND
YOU DIMLY AWARE OF SOMEONE DRAGGING YOU ABOARD BUS
Item Emptied: Bladder!
Item Lost: Consciousness!
Item Gained: Crazy 80s Glam Hairstyle! go around back of the bus to to poo.Think I'll pass on that one with Saber doing his bit.
Locate consciousness. Locate stomach. Be reassured that they are both relatively functional. Stagger into the woods to poo. Take toilet paper.
'RELATIVELY' IS A DANGEROUS WORD, MY FRIEND
[5]NEVERTHELESS, YOU MANAGE TO DRAG YOURSELF TO A STANDING POSITION AND EVEN LOCATE SOME TOILET PAPER
YOU WANDER OFF INTO THE CURSED FOREST OF EVIL, FIND SOME SOFT DIRT AND KICK A HOLE IN IT, THEN SQUAT DOWN AND BEGIN TO POOP
YEAH HAVE FUN WITH THAT BUDDY
YOU HEAR BUS STARTING UP AFTER A WHILE
Item Acquired: Roll of Toilet Paper!
State Entered: Pooping... IN THE CURSED FOREST! Wake up. Find the thing I'm meant to make music with.
[6] YOU AWAKEN TO INCREDIBLE DISCOMFORT, WITH YOUR KNEES TUCKED UP AGAINST YOUR FACE, YOUR FOREARMS PRESSED TIGHT ACROSS YOUR STOMACH AND YOUR SHOULDERS BEING PRESSED TOGETHER BY SOMETHING ALL AROUND YOU
OPENING YOUR EYES YOU REALISE YOUR SITUATION
YOU ARE SOMEHOW STUCK
INSIDE OF THE KICKDRUMI MEAN REALLY, HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?! AT LEAST YOU ARE ON THE BUS
Item Gained: Kick Drum!
Status Gained: Stuck In Kick Drum!
Item Gained: Pain! Stay Asleep. Rock Hard. Ride Free.
[6] YOU MANAGE TO SLEEP THROUGH ALL THE DERPAGE TAKING PLACE AROUND YOUR MORTAL BODY, AVOIDING YOUR HANGOVER AND INSTEAD HAVING AN INSANELY BADASS DREAM IN WHICH YOU RIDE A HUGE LOW-SLUNG MOTORCYCLE BUILT OUT OF STEEL, CHROME AND THE BONES OF COUNTLESS SLAIN ENEMIES THROUGH WHAT APPEARS TO BE HELL, OR PERHAPS BIRMINGHAM.
THIS SONG PLAYS FOR A LITTLE WHILE AS YOU RIDE DOWN CHAVS, DEMONS AND DEMON CHAVS, UNTIL GM DECIDES IS NOT BRUTAL ENOUGH FOR THE SITUATION. THEN
THIS REPLACES IT, AS THE GROUND BEGINS TO CRUMBLE BENEATH YOUR BIKE, THE SKY GOES RED AND SOME GIGANTIC MONSTER BEGINS TO TAKE SHAPE IN THE DISTANCE UP AHEAD
GET A MASK MADE FROM REAL HUMAN SKIN, SOMEHOW
PUT ON FACE
[6] YOU DRAW YOUR SKINNING KNIFE, CROUCH DOWN AND SLIDE THE BLADE IN THROUGH THE SKIN OF YOUR JAWBONE AND BEGIN WORKING IT BACK AND FORTH ALONG THE SIDE OF YOUR FACE, SEPARATING THE SKIN FROM THE FLESH BENEATH. IT TAKES A WHILE, AND SOMEONE SHOVES YOU ABOARD THE BUS AS YOU WORK, BUT EVENTUALLY YOU MANAGE TO REMOVE YOUR FACE
HOLY SHIT, THAT MAKES AN AWESOME MASK! BRUTAL AS FUCK!
YOU WEAR IT OVER THE BLOODY RUIN OF YOUR FACE AND THEN PROMPTLY PASS OUT FROM PAIN AND LOSS OF BLOOD
Item Gained: Skinning Knife!
Item Gained: Human Face Mask!
Item Lost: Face!
Item Lost: Consciousness!PULL OUT MY CLARINET. PLAY IT SO BEAUTIFULLY THAT SOLID PLATINUM CLARINETS RAIN FROM THE HEAVENS
[4] YOU PULL OUT A CLARINET AND BEGIN PLAYING IT
YOU PRETTY GOOD AT THIS
NO RAIN OF CLARINETS (OR ANYTHING ELSE) FROM THE HEAVENS JUST YET THOUGH.
MAYBE YOU SAVE THIS FOR BAND'S THIRD ALBUM, WHEN PEOPLE EXPECT YOU TO 'BRANCH OUT' AND EXPAND MUSICAL STYLE?
OH WELL. YOU ARE LOADED ONTO BUS.
Item Gained: Clarinet!
Skill Increased: Clarinet! I'M NOT SOME KIND OF SILLY MUSIC PLAYING HIPPIE!!!! I AM A GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, LEADING AN ARMY TO TAKE OVER DRONE CITY BECAUSE OF DIRECT ORDERS FROM THE PRESIDENT HIMSELF.
[1] ...YOU WAKE UP, GROGGY, INTENSE PAIN IN HEAD
YOU SEEM TO BE CHAINED TO REAR BUMPER OF BUS
THE MISSION HAS ENCOUNTERED A COMPLICATION
START MOSH PIT IN MIDDLE OF NEARBY TOWN.
[6] YOU NOT IN TOWN YET! YOU DECIDE TO GET EARLY START ON MOSHING, PUT SOME
HAVOK ON THE STEREO AND BEGIN HEADBANGING WILDLY IN THE BUS, SLAMMING INTO OTHER PEOPLE IN VARIOUS STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS. IF ONLY YOU HAD SOME BOOZE, IS HARD MOSHING HUNGOVER.
MAN, YOUR HEAD HURTS
Hangover Level Increased! 
Poll
1 (4.8%)
Author
Topic: ROLL TO THRASH (Read 16646 times)