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[WillowLuman]

Holding a baby is indeed the most terrifying thing. "Oh my god what if I mess this up I'm going to mess this up please take this from me"

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Relevant.

[WillowLuman]

I knew, I knew that's what the link would be.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

I knew, I knew that's what the link would be.

Then you should have linked it first.
Ain't nobody be able to catch the hotlinking man.

[RedKing]

ROTFL. That is exactly how I felt prior to having kids. I did not hold any child other than my own. And when one of my friends (who now has a 1-year old daughter) held my daughter at the hospital, he had that same look of overwhelming terror, as if he had been asked to hold a live grenade.

[MaximumZero]

To be fair, if a baby has been fed recently, it essentially is a live, random timer grenade. A poop grenade.

[flabort]

As I've grown older I've gotten less and less comfortable with holding babies as I realize just how much responsibility, not privilege, it is.

Me at 12: I wanna hold [baby cousin]! Is it my turn yet?!
Me at 15: Can I please hold [your baby]? He's so cute!
Me at 18: Eh... sure I can hold [the baby].
Me at 22 (now?): No thank you.

[MaximumZero]

Spoiler: Next time on the Halfway Haus of Madness! (click to show/hide)

Training Montage!

Modern Art!

Old friends!

This thing!

Adventures!

Danger!
and of course...

Classic Literature.

Tune in next time for the Halfway Haus of Madness Day 19: The Time Is Now!

[Rose]

Mz, I think I've seen this movie.
You make contact with aliums, but nobody believes you.

[RedKing]

Oh. Oh my. Is that me sinking into a hellmouth?? 

EDIT: Also, why am I shirtless? I am NEVER shirtless. Even when I'm naked.

[MaximumZero]

Spoiler: Day 19: The Time Is Now! (click to show/hide)

Kal is the first of us awake.

RedKing is next up. Apparently he had a dream about the pool.

I tried a little experiment. I installed a real elevator in the Haus, so people would stop flopping everywhere. We'll see how it works.

You can fit multiple people in it!

I installed a staircase after a bit, though. The new elevator is slow as hell.

RedKing hits the weight room. Not too hard, though.

Vector not only woke up at a reasonable hour, she also made her bed. Sanju will leave that to Japa.

Sappho is also awake!

Don't talk to Vector before her morning tea. For your own safety.

That exchange was actually a net gain between Sanju and Vector.

We're having issues with the kitchen again. Bluh.

I replaced the drafting table with two easels. It's not that no one was using the drafting table, but it is much slower at building skill and money. Also, this means that more people can paint at once.

It begins.

I'm upgrading a computer!

I should be in there yelling at him to lift heavier things. There's only two plates on that machine!

Sanju and Wolfeyez hanging out.

Sanju heads to the internet, to look up new recipes.

Vector is in the teahaus, making a new painting.

MORE WEIGHT. Do you even lift, bro?

Wolfeyez went downstairs and made all the beds. Took the elevator down, but the stairs up. Okay, whatever floats your boat, lady.

Sanju in the garden. I'm pretty sure she's the only one of us dressed at this point.

Kal cleans up the kitchen. I approve.

Kal escapes the Haus! This is only temporary, as this is a shopping trip.

Sappho made a Harvester! If Japa's version was any indication, it doesn't work as well as having the army of Hausmates pick the garden.

Like Sanju.

Planting some seeds! We have seeds pop up in the back yard from time to time. (There's an invisible spawner somewhere on our lot, and it repopulates every now and again.)

That's a lot of black, there, Vector.

Kal is at the library! Unfortunately, no one else is.

Sappho continues to make stuff.

Like this. It's a Miner. You can use it to dig up random stuff and leave holes in the lawn. That'll piss off the Homeowners' Association. Also the neighbors. It's freakin' loud.

I immediately set out on a quest to piss off the neighborhood and get loot.

Sanju hits the training dummy.

And by hits, I mean slaps.

Kal is reading a romance novel. Why? It's the only romance at the library at this point.

I found this with the miner. It's a hella big space rock! It's also worth about $5k.

Sanju is learning to identify seeds. "Stay awhile, and listen!"

REDKING WHY ARE YOU IN THE POOL!?

That's more like it.

Aina and Wolfeyez chitchat in front of a glowing hole in the ground. Nothing weird here, folks.

RedKing decides to jump in and see what's down there. I mean, treasure and horrible death, probably, right? (The Miner can create adventures, almost exactly like going to the Mausoleum in the graveyard.)

THAT'S A LOT OF BLACK, THERE, VECTOR! Seriously, though, what the fuck?

Japa joins Sappho in the mad science lab.

He immediately makes some spinny planes.

What's this? I have attained mastery of Handiness. I can fix and upgrade practically anything now.

It is time, my son.

Aina prefers the old fashioned route, too. Stairs for everyone!

I am performing the ultimate upgrade on this thing.

Wolfeyez watches the cooking channel.

The waiting is the hardest part for RedKing.

Tiruin sticks a hand in the deep freeze. Not pleasant at all.

All for a hot dog. Wow, okay.

Vector sits down with some classical literature.

Yoink is a lazy bastard. Get up, you lazy bastard!

Kal is done with the library. No one showed up.

Hey, I know this place. This is scrdest's place.

Speaking of scrdest, here he is!

He immediately hops in a cab and drives off, without acknowledging Kal at all. Wow, that's cold, man.

Yoink heads out in search of adventure.

Scriver helps out, though.

Apparently, they adopted a cat. Okay.

Scriver has no idea how to work the fridge. Only that it holds a light.

Oh, holy crap, this stove sucks. Has anyone ever cleaned it?

That about sums it up, thank you, Scriver.

Those poor waffles. They never stood a chance.

This was not the kind of park Yoink had in mind when he set out.

Science for breakfast? Sure.

Time to be done with this place. Where else will Kal go?

Aina joins RedKing and Wolfeyez for breakfast. Tiruin cleans up.

Tir heads out to work! Time to heal the sick. The physically sick, I mean.

RedKing, there's no way you'll both fit in there. Second breakfast, you say? Welp, time to give them some privacy.

Sappho made a thing! It's a wind up cow!

Kal finds a random gem!

Yoink gets the mail. Bills, bills, junk, bills. Throw it all away. I have the "No Bills Ever" perk.

She's still working frantically. Strange mood?

Kal heads into the Mausoleum. Adventure tiiiiime!

Sappho really leaves a little bit of herself in her work. Like blood, and tears.

Breakfast for everyone! Lonliness for Yoink!

Then again, there's a reason for that.

That was quick. Kal talks to a ghost after getting attacked by zombie bears again. You'd think the municipal workers would do something about those.

Sanju is almost done weeding the garden.

Vector hits the pool. Everyone loves that freakin' fountain.

So, you get in it like this, and it spins you around. Neat.

Dance mode, activate!

No, the spinning is too fast! NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!

I have been thrown into a dimensional rift, and my wife is watching TV with the Hausmates like nothing happened. Nice. Ah, well, I'll be okay.

Instead of tv, they decide to throw a football around.

Yoink went to a park! There were people there!

I'm back. What'd I find? Nothing. I didn't die, though, so that's good.

Japa is watching a documentary on hallways.

Yoink seems to be bad at flirting. The girl's quite the catch, though.

Vector and her sweet shades and some bread.

Yoink learns a new song from a tourist! That's one he can take to the stage. He'll be huge in China for sure.

Yoink adds a little flair to the presentation.

Too much flair! Scale it back!

I help clean the Haus. It's the least I can do after irradiating everyone with the dance machine.

Japa sits down with a sports book. Author: Burnt Pies.

RedKing is late for work! Wolfeyez, for some reason, has the day off. They have the same job. *shrug*

Sanju admires Vector. The sweet shades help, I'm sure.

Yoink heads for work. He's so close to a promotion it isn't funny.

Kal gives a lesson on non-Newtonian fluids to an empty room.

Instead, everyone is watching tv.

Sappho made a floor hygienator! If you walk over it, it sprays you with stuff to make you smell better. Sometimes it makes you nauseous, though.

Between the bathroom and the gym probably needs it most.

Tiruin gets out of work with new coworker HugoLuman.

Also, Tir was promoted! Woo! Wait, Tir was promoted to "Bedpan Cleaner." Eeewwww. Well, beats "Organ Donor," I guess.

Vector shows off some mad board breaking skill. That's oak, yo.

Kal grabs some leftovers from the fridge, which I got working again.

Then, Kal goes back to work on the "Totally Not the Venus de Milo."

Everyone heads out to the garden to re-weed it.

Sappho opts for tea instead of backbreaking labor.

It's done! Well, except the arms. You missed those, Kal.

Tiruin bought a logic book at the bookstore.

Tir also stopped off to pick something up at the Consignment Shop. Wonder if they have anything good?

Ding! You've got mail! (RedKing got a creepy statue from one of the married women that we sold for $1k.)

Sappho begins painting, in a fit of inspiration.

Kal, now a master of sculpture, begins the Inventing portion of the Descendant of da Vinci lifetime wish.

Painting isn't scratching the creative itch. How about alchemy?

Aina is doing squats in the living room. Apparently, she doesn't know we have a gym.

Tir and Sanju share bathroom gossip.

Vector grabs another cuppa.

That smoke is a little ominous, Sappho.

I don't know what that is or where she got it. Starting to worry.

Speaking of worrying, Japa is on fire again!

This...is getting surprisingly routine.

Aaaaand douse the flames.

Yoink somehow wound up in a gym talking to one of RedKing's married admirers.

And her husband. Oops.

Wolfeyez is enjoying the now-modified computers. They're much faster.

What the hell are you doing, Sappho!? That's glowing!

Turned out to be pretty good anyway. Sappho now knows how to make potions of bliss! They instantly fill your social and fun moods.

Yoink wound up in a completely empty bar somehow. Well, not completely empty, but from the funerals, we know she's married. And kind of a jerk.

*sigh* May as well have a drink.

This married woman started hitting on Yoink post haste. Welp.

Yoink is a funny, funny man.

This bar has a fireplace. That's never gone wrong, mixing alcohol and fire.

That fire's high enough, right? Nope, poke it some more.

Wolfeyez and the magic pizza.

Kal, fingers and hammers are not friends. Sappho is back to inventing.

Tiruin sits down with a mystery novel.

You guys make a hell of a mess in the bathroom.

Sanju cranks up the stereo.

And whips out the clubbing moves with aplomb.

There is nothing about this that is good.

Kal is now on fire and panicking. Panic is usually the last thing you want to do, but when you're on fire...well, it's kind of hard not to.

No matter how fast you run, they chase you!

Tiruin hits the weights.

Dinnertime in the Haus. Vector, Russian literature will not sustain your lifeforce by itself.

Sappho is a lovely person who cleans up plates that are not her own, in addition to her own. Kal soothes the burns with chamomile tea.

RedKing seeks asylum from all the screaming and fire.

Sanju is making incredible progress with Martial Arts.

There's nothing left to explore here. Time to fill it in. RedKing found a Tiberium, though. Woo!

Pull the lever and make us all rich!

Such wealth. Much glowy rocks. Very radiation. Wow.

Meanwhile, Sappho made this. It is a Time Machine. Now you don't have to go to the mausoleum to get random loot and get horribly mauled! You can do that in the backyard.

The Time Stream beckons. Sappho answers the call.

To the Past!

Japa gets back to Science!

Sappho came back from the past with a well dressed gnome.

Did I mention that I installed a bowling alley in the Haus? Because I totally did. Aina is the only one awake to use it, though. (I can't send her to bed.)

After that, it's lights out! Note that I re-installed the tube elevators. If you would rather have stairs, that's fine, but the regular elevator is just too damn slow.

I'm sorry if this one was a little disjointed, guys, but imgur jumbled all the pictures up after I uploaded them and I tried to sort them as best I could. Lack of sleep hurts the brain, though.

Edit: I resized some of the pictures.

[RedKing]

Did....did I woohoo in the bathroom stall?? 

[WillowLuman]

Wait, I work at the hospital? Cool!

Also, *fistbumps Tiruin*

[Rose]

Actions for me:
Either make an orrery, or grab one from somebody else, and keep it in my room on display.
EXPLORE TIME AND SPACE!

[MaximumZero]

Did....did I woohoo in the bathroom stall?? 

Yes.