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Should other religions be added to this thread?

No
Only Judeism
Only Islam
Yes to both Judeism and Islam

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Author Topic: Christian beliefs and discussion  (Read 189910 times)

hops

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #465 on: September 23, 2014, 03:18:43 pm »

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TD1

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #466 on: September 23, 2014, 03:36:33 pm »

Oh, yes. The intercession of Jesus was indeed timely and good.

But what about the ones before the change? Were they living in sin? And God's Law which is meant to be absolute, should not be subjective to anyone, even himself.
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Cryxis, Prince of Doom

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Orange Wizard

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #468 on: September 23, 2014, 03:56:55 pm »

xkcd, is there anything it isn't relevant to?
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Redzephyr01

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #469 on: September 23, 2014, 04:15:57 pm »

Since someone asked "who was Cain's wife?" earlier, I thought I'd answer that question. Her name was Awan.
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Frumple

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #470 on: September 23, 2014, 04:18:37 pm »

Think the question was more "where'd she come from" (as well as not-so-subtle ribbing(ha!) about the whole insect thing), than her name.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #471 on: September 23, 2014, 04:18:50 pm »

Since someone asked "who was Cain's wife?" earlier, I thought I'd answer that question. Her name was Awan.

Only if you accept the Book of Jubilees as canon, which seems to only be a thing in Ethiopia.

With a name like that I'd think it would liven up the Bible a bit. I'd support it.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #472 on: September 23, 2014, 06:20:01 pm »

The Bible already has Song of Songs, which is pretty much twenty or so pages of what would otherwise be a really terrible erotic novel.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #473 on: September 23, 2014, 07:01:03 pm »

Quote from: Song of Solomon 1
She:
12While the king was on his couch,
my nard gave forth its fragrance.
13My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
that lies between my breasts.

Man, do anti-sex Christians know this stuff is in the Bible? I don't know what a nard is but I think I can make a pretty good guess from this context.

And if you didn't think there were Bible verses describing boobs, well... there are a decent amount. They're apparently very nice boobs though.

Quote from: Song of Solomon 7
7Your stature is like a palm tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters.
8I say I will climb the palm tree
and lay hold of its fruit.
Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
and the scent of your breath like apples,
9and your mouth like the best wine.

Definitely my new favorite book of the Bible.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #474 on: September 23, 2014, 07:03:49 pm »

Man, do anti-sex Christians know this stuff is in the Bible?
Most of the "mainstream" Christian opinions come from people who have never read the book.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

freeformschooler

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #475 on: September 23, 2014, 07:17:34 pm »

Quote from: Song of Solomon 1
She:
12While the king was on his couch,
my nard gave forth its fragrance.
13My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
that lies between my breasts.

Man, do anti-sex Christians know this stuff is in the Bible? I don't know what a nard is but I think I can make a pretty good guess from this context.

is this how people sweet talked each other in king james' time
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Frumple

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #476 on: September 23, 2014, 07:22:24 pm »

I don't know what a nard is but I think I can make a pretty good guess from this context.
Just perfume, apparently. That particular translation would appear to be leaving off the full word, which is spikenard.

It's like everyone has to translate something different, blegh.

And yeah FFS that's the sort of thing you see in old olden days. I can almost guarantee you each and every one of those lines were innuendo laden, and probably would have caused young people to look away and blush. Stuff tends to sound pretty innocent, and then you find out what the hell they were actually meaning and holy shit you think stuff gets foul nowadays, hell naw these people had literally nothing else to do with their time they spent years thinking up new methods of raunchy doublespeak.

E: Like, it's entirely possible the original bible was just a gigantic dick joke. These people had very few means of entertainment. At some point, you come to the point you've got a choice between the sheep and finding new ways to popularize calling people goat buggerers.
« Last Edit: September 23, 2014, 07:26:53 pm by Frumple »
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TheDarkStar

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #477 on: September 23, 2014, 07:50:22 pm »

Is there any particular question you guys are discussing right now, or is it all just passive-aggressive silliness?

Here's another fun thinglet I was taught during religion classes: Jesus is 100% God and 100% man at the same time. I never got to the level of maths where this curious operation would be made sense of. Perhaps that's what you go to study theology for.
Wikipedia explains the concept. I'm afraid it doesn't actually follow the rules of mathematics, so I can't help you in that regard.

Yeah, the Trinity thing is odd imo - my religion has them as 3 seperate beings (like three people are all different human beings), with the Son and the Father each having a solid body, and the Spirit obviously being a spirit.
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ShadowHammer

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #478 on: September 23, 2014, 08:36:04 pm »

Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't Bible verses that contradict each other be subject to a sort of priority system? As Christians, those teachings taught directly by Jesus should be paramount, the Ten Commandments next, then those of his closest apostles and then the Old Testament, particularly Leviticus. <--- If someone thinks I've put these in the wrong order, please correct me. Jesus himself was pretty egalitarian towards women and taught of love and acceptance.
This post was a while ago, but I think that the following is important to keep in mind for any debate/discussion involving Christianity:
Quote from: Matthew 22:34-40
34 When the Pharisees heard that Jesus had left the Sadducees speechless, they met together. 35 One of them, a legal expert, tested him. 36 “Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 He replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, and with all your mind. 38  This is the first and greatest commandment. 39  And the second is like it: You must love your neighbor as you love yourself. 40  All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.”
In Jesus' "rulebook update", He does give an order of precedence. This, incidentally, is what lets the Catholic Church throw certain Bible teachings out the window whenever they want: sure, the Bible might say that, for example, homosexuality is bad, but hating someone for being gay is (obviously) not an expression of love, so don't do it. Likewise, enslaving someone is not a loving/neighbourly act (unless, of course, they're cool with being a slave), so don't do it.

Note: anyone who wants to debate the definition of "neighbour" should read "the good Samaritan" parable before doing so.
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Cryxis, Prince of Doom

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Re: Christian beliefs and discussion
« Reply #479 on: September 23, 2014, 09:16:14 pm »

That's a great parable
Though I'm not sure I would lend a few hundred bucks to a nude stranger in a ditch on the side of a road
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