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[Slothman400]

I've gotten this far by the advice of friends and family, but now I think it's about time to exploit the anonymity of the internet, because It's embarrassing how socially inept I am.

Obligatory information: 16 years old, male, have car, but no job.

Last year I started talking to a girl at school. We were close friends within a few weeks, and I got her phone number.

Sadly, I don't know how flirting works so I just avoided it altogether. A couple days later, she had a boyfriend.

Now I'm unsure. It's been a couple months, but now she gives even more signals that she likes me. I don't know if she still has a boyfriend.

Now I can drive and have a bit more confidence, so I want to ask her out. I don't know how to ask if she has a boyfriend, or what to do once I know.

What do?

[LordBucket]

I'm bad with girls. This has suddenly become a problem.

Contrary to popular rumor, girls are often human beings. Try imagining that she is one. Act accordingly. That means not putting her on a mental pedestal and not thinking of her as some sort of abstract science project that needs to be treated according to some mystical protocol.

no job

You're 16. She won't care. Neither should you.

have car, but no job.

I advise against trying to impress her with what a "man of the world" you are with cars and money and jobs and things. You're not a peacock trying to impress her with how pretty your feathers are. So don't act like one.

We were close friends

I don't know if she still has a boyfriend.

I'm unsure how to reconcile that you're close friends but you don't know if she has a boyfriend.

What do?

You're "close friends" right? And you have a car. So since you're such close friends, invite her to do something with you that you'll both like. Since she's a close friend you obviously know her well enough to know what she'll like. Be sure to pick something you'll enjoy too. It's easier to have fun with somebody who is also having fun. That means you have to enjoy it too. Don't loudly proclaim it to be a date. There's no need for such formality. Spend time with her. Enjoy spending time with her, and allow her to enjoy spending time with you. Let the rest proceed from there.

Do you have more specific questions?

[YAHG]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've gotten this far by the advice of friends and family, but now I think it's about time to exploit the anonymity of the internet, because It's embarrassing how socially inept I am.

Obligatory information: 16 years old, male, have car, but no job.

Last year I started talking to a girl at school. We were close friends within a few weeks, and I got her phone number.

Sadly, I don't know how flirting works so I just avoided it altogether. A couple days later, she had a boyfriend.

Now I'm unsure. It's been a couple months, but now she gives even more signals that she likes me. I don't know if she still has a boyfriend.

Now I can drive and have a bit more confidence, so I want to ask her out. I don't know how to ask if she has a boyfriend, or what to do once I know.

What do?

^Basically tell her this^,

1: It's adorable as all hell. Good thing

2: It takes courage to be vulnerable. More important than this girl or situation

3: If you have secret thoughts, emotions, etc. and you pretend to be otherwise the other person can not in reality relate to you, only to your facade.

4: You can tell a lot about people by how they act when you allow yourself to be vulnerable.

5: If it doesn't work out the way you want it to you can seal the deal as far as your life goes. You don't have to worry about regretting not having courage

[nenjin]

1. Call her.

2. Explain you've liked her for a while but were too bashful to ask her out.

3. Ask if she's still got a boyfriend.

3a. If yes, be supportive and tell her to look you up if she finds herself free.

3b. If no, invite her to do something. Preferably something that isn't a movie, which is the most passive date experience you can manage.

[Cthulhu]

Contrary to popular rumor, girls are often human beings. Try imagining that she is one. Act accordingly. That means not putting her on a mental pedestal and not thinking of her as some sort of abstract science project that needs to be treated according to some mystical protocol.

Do this one ASAP.  As a corollary, and I know this is hard for a lot of innernette people, but you would do well to get some buddhism up ins.  Relinquish desire.  All you really need is food, air, and water, and that's assuming staying alive is a priority for you. 

The best way to get better with girls is to stop wanting them so bad.  Not like "boo hoo friend zone i'm asexual now" but just accepting that a relationship is not a requirement for happiness and you will be totally fine without a girl.  Or a boy, or whatever.  If you can do that genuinely, then the above problems will vanish.  Once you stop wanting a relationship you'll stop being bad with girls, because you won't have that hanging over your head anymore and you'll be able to treat a girl like, get this, a human being and not some kind of terrible alien judge deciding whether or not to destroy your planet.

[Fenrir]

I read the part where he presented a social situation he didn’t know how to approach, but I missed the part where he wasn’t treating her like a human being.

[Yoink]

I read the part where he presented a social situation he didn’t know how to approach, but I missed the part where he wasn’t treating her like a human being.

That seems to be the trend with romantic advice around here, from what I've seen- "They're just a person like any other no matter how you feel about them, so toughen up and tell them how you feel!" Much, much easier said than done, as far as I am aware.
Still, I wouldn't really know. Nenjin's advice sounds to me like it's pretty sound, but I could be wrong.

[chaoticag]

I read the part where he presented a social situation he didn’t know how to approach, but I missed the part where he wasn’t treating her like a human being.

There wasn't a part about her not being treated as a human being, but he certainly seems to think of her as something above human, which is why it's an advice. It's mostly about thinking that people are not so different from each other, whether male, female or other.

[Neonivek]

I don't know... I think there might be a sly way of asking her if she has a boyfriend without asking... but without giving too much away.

Since I think the key here is... Trying to jump right into the date wagon when she is already dating someone else will strain their tenuous relationship (as with all friendships they are built of macaroni and lies ).

[miauw62]

If you're a close friend of hers, you could just straight-out ask if she still has a boyfriend, I think.

As a fellow socially inept 15-year-old, I sympathize with you.
You can do this, bro.
And even if you can't, you'll probably learn a lot from it. I know I have.

[Phmcw]

To add one thing on impressing girls (and boys) : You caannot impress someone worth your time with something you don't have. Be your best, sure, but be yourself.
The only thing worst that not folowing this advice would be succeeding : you'd be with someone that love you for something you're not.

It's only logical that for going out with someone, she or he must like you first. Not a lot you can do there.
Also, don't be a doormat.

[Shazbot]

Next time she's giving you winks, just ask if she's single again. If she says yes, ask if she wants to change that. If she says she's still dating, say you'll see her around. If she says she's not interested, say that's fine too.

You see, women are like cats.

They see you, you seem interesting, they sniff you out a bit, they walk off. If you chase them, they run. So after they've walked off, keep doing the thing you did that they found interesting in the first place. When they come back, they've developed both an interest and a degree of trust.

[XXSockXX]

You see, women are like cats.

Pro-tips:
DO carry a laserpointer with you at all times, to keep the relationship interesting.
DON'T mix dry food under her wet food, trust once lost is hard to regain.

[nenjin]

Cthulhu's advice is solid. I've always phrased it thus:

Become ok with the concept of being alone for the rest of your life. Practice a little self-love. When you can embrace that concept, the smell of desperation will leave you. You will avoid getting into relationships you regret just for the sake of not being alone, and you will begin to gain some of the self-confidence that is cornerstone of being attractive to the opposite sex.

[Gentlefish]

Cthulhu's advice is solid. I've always phrased it thus:

Become ok with the concept of being alone for the rest of your life. Practice a little self-love. When you can embrace that concept, the smell of desperation will leave you. You will avoid getting into relationships you regret just for the sake of not being alone, and you will begin to gain some of the self-confidence that is cornerstone of being attractive to the opposite sex.

Actually this. I gave up on dating for a while and that's how I found my girlfriend actually. And don't think that this will ruin your friendship. It'll still be there but it might take a little time for something awkward to dissipate. Seriously, the only way your friendship will end is if you let it get between you. It shouldn't.

So don't let that scare you.