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Author Topic: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."  (Read 2121 times)

ImagoDeo

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...and other hilarious Dwarf Fortress-related quotes. Go!
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What would it be like to live in a world that was copy/pasted? Would we even notice? If not, how many times have we switched celestial harddrives or whatever?

Untelligent

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2014, 08:59:50 pm »

"Urist, quick, grab your ax! There's a troll rampaging through the decimal conversion chambers!"
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The World Without Knifebear — A much safer world indeed.
regardless, the slime shooter will be completed, come hell or high water, which are both entirely plausible setbacks at this point.

Blastbeard

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2014, 12:06:58 am »

Code: [Select]
"Oh and now the refuse pile is crawling away."
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tuypo1

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2014, 01:35:56 am »

you know theres already a massive thread for this you should check it out its pretty funny

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65536.0
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important project progress

have some basic idea of whats going to go in it

wierd

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2014, 01:49:40 am »

*troll in decimal conversion chambers*

I am now suddenly accosted with the phrase "Debugging", and imagining an emaciated giant insect FB prancing merrily through the binary counter system, causing all manner of incorrect results as mechanisms go flying...
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ImagoDeo

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2014, 01:56:08 am »

you know theres already a massive thread for this you should check it out its pretty funny

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65536.0

Yeah, I haven't frequented General Discussion much at all. This is specific to DF - that isn't. I guess there's some overlap...
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What would it be like to live in a world that was copy/pasted? Would we even notice? If not, how many times have we switched celestial harddrives or whatever?

tuypo1

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2014, 03:15:14 am »

you know theres already a massive thread for this you should check it out its pretty funny

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65536.0

Yeah, I haven't frequented General Discussion much at all. This is specific to DF - that isn't. I guess there's some overlap...

ah i see this is all referencing in game events
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StumpytheOzzie

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2014, 03:19:42 am »

My brother and I had a good conversation once... We were talking about preparing for mid-late game military after I had just made a rather large turkeysplosion...

He said: "No no, you lock the 12 year olds in the danger room WITH their pets. So that way they witness horrible emotionally scarring slaughter BEFORE they become adults. They come out like terminator or something."

So I said: "What kinds of pets? Like, do they get more attached to turkeys than dogs or something?"

and he said: "Wow.. I dunno, but maybe we could make the danger room open-topped and like throw thousands of poults at them. It might affect dodge. They'll probably need helmets for the raining poults. I wonder if we can mechanise it somehow, with minecarts maybe?"

I lost it about then... minecart shotgun of poults into a danger room filled with 12 year old children and their pet dogs' corpses.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2014, 03:22:01 am by StumpytheOzzie »
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Graknorke

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2014, 03:29:45 am »

Spoiler: Sorry but I had to (click to show/hide)
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EinsteinSatDown

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2014, 05:11:59 am »

I...stand in awe at your comedic abilities.

This gives me an idea...

Four danger rooms, each with children of varying ages.
Each gets a spesific pet type thrown from above.

After they are sufficiently trained(indoctronated), I let them join four separate squads.

These squads then proceed to partake in challenges.
Those that survive get better gear.

It amuses me, four squads of teenagers rampaging about the fort, attempting to best each other at killing captured goblins and drinking ale.

For each notable kill a squad makes, five points are added, the other kills get one point.
Forgotten beasts and their ilk score 15.

As each child is born or migrates, they are drafted into a squad based on their thoughts and preferences.

Each year a winning squad is selected based on the points.
This squad will receive the finest booze and a peroid of rest.

At 18, the children leave the squad to join the real military or the city  guard.

Wait..I've been rambling on?
Insomnia and dwarves brings about a whimsical state of mind.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2014, 05:18:05 am by EinsteinSatDown »
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Graknorke

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #10 on: July 06, 2014, 05:21:01 am »

Dwarves reach adulthood at 10 or 12 I think, not 18. Other than that it's a solid megaproject to set up that infrastructure.
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Execute/Dumbo.exe

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #11 on: July 06, 2014, 05:32:50 am »

"You're a wizard, Darry!"
Darry was stunned by this turn of events, "really?!"
"Yes!" Says Dumbledorf, "and I feel it's time for you to taste first blood, so take these-" as he gifts Harry his very first Domesticated Giant Mosquito and iron blade, "-and go kill some bloody goblins!"
"oh boy! I get to be the servant of Armok himself! Yay!"
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IronyOwl   But Kyuubey can more or less be summed up as "You didn't ask."
15:52   IronyOwl   Whereas Dungbeetle is closer to "Fuck you."

EinsteinSatDown

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2014, 05:39:40 am »

Dwarves reach adulthood at 10 or 12 I think, not 18.

They reach it at 12.
I merely aimed to implement a Hoggwarts-like system.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2014, 05:41:12 am by EinsteinSatDown »
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Zan Oltaridor

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #13 on: July 06, 2014, 06:11:02 am »

This thread is why I love dwarf fortress. We start at engravings of wagons and end up using necromancy to raise them from the dead, and were-wagons.
I jumped off a ramp in a cave and exploded.
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This thread is why I love dwarf fortress. We start at engravings of wagons and end up using necromancy to raise them from the dead, and were-wagons.
I jumped off a ramp in a cave and exploded.

greycat

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Re: "I wish I could get the children closer to my were-iguana."
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2014, 08:11:34 am »

*troll in decimal conversion chambers*

I am now suddenly accosted with the phrase "Debugging", and imagining an emaciated giant insect FB prancing merrily through the binary counter system, causing all manner of incorrect results as mechanisms go flying...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Hopper#Anecdotes

Not quite as exciting as an emaciated giant insect forgotten beast, but....
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Hell, if nobody's suffocated because of it, it hardly counts as a bug! -- StLeibowitz
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