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[BillCobbett]

I had a glorious moment to share with you all

I was playing a file modded so I could order exotic animals from the caravan.
Naturally, I ordered a battalion of Giant Brown Recluses and posted them outside the upper entrance to my fort

A few months later...

Goblin ambush!
They appear right outside the upper entrance to my fort. One of them appears right next to the recluses, and the rest are ~10 tiles away
Unpause

In a flash, the lone, unfortunate goblin is completely surrounded by a horrifying crowd of giant f-ing spiders

Pause

Unpause

BLOOD EVERYWHERE, PARTS FLYING

Panic pause

What just happened? Goblin is still alive.
Select goblin->wounds
She is missing literally all her limbs
Confirm hypothesis: reports->she-goblin
The four closest brown recluses each bit one of her limbs and tore it right off, simultaneously. Clever girls...except for the 5th, which decided to go for the back teeth
I paused right at the moment of glory, the brief moment of horror as the she-goblin realizes she is but a torso, toothless to boot

The best part...
Unpause
She-goblin hits the ground, dead
The rest of the goblin ambush (7 individuals) IMMEDIATELY nopes right out off the map edge, no questions asked

Any good kills in your games recently?

[Kreydurst]

I think it's terrible that this has given me the biggest laugh this month. Great job tamed beasts!

Anywho, I once had 4 wrestler dwarves go in to strangle the same kobold once and his head would have popped off if it was real dwarven strength vs necks.

[PDF urist master]

I have giant cave spiders guarding my entrance, so my results are similar except the dwarves are much happier.

[klefenz]

"And that day the fortress became known as Kuagsglop in goblin tongue, in our tongue NopeHoles!

[Lich180]

My current defenses are 14 axedwarves, one with an artifact steel axe and 4 marksdwarves, guarding a single door. A few thieves popped their heads in to see if there were any kids nearby, and were promptly disassembled.

The front of my fort is now red, staining my pretty gabbro walls and trade depot.

[Panando]

I had a she-goblin snatcher sneak up to my fortress and cruelly and villainously ambush a puppy, stabbing it in the guts. After killing the puppy a dog jumped her and she cut off one of it's paws, at that point things start going wrong for the puppy-hating goblin, because a passing off duty marksdwarf put a single turkey bone bolt in her shin and she fell over and gave into pain. The marksdwarf wandered off leaving the aggrieved dog to bite her in the face for a page or so, until an axedwarf casually wandered over and beheaded her.

It wouldn't have been notable if the marksdwarf hadn't crippled her and left her for the dog to chew on.

[greycat]

The front of my fort is now red, staining my pretty gabbro walls and trade depot.

We call it paint.

[Fen]

Probably one of the most amusing deaths I've ever seen was, at the end of a big elven ambushing attack (I get something like mini-sieges of the bastards now and then as apposed to just one or two ambush parties) and one elven swordsman was left on top of a giant raven, flying over a hill. It was injured and kept dipping up and down, so I positioned military dwarves underneath it.

Each time the bird dipped down into melee range, the dwarves would bum-rush it and try to get a hit or two on the rider or the bird. Eventually, the bird was injured enough to begin being sick, and then passed out, sending its rider falling down into a pit of angry sword, axe, mace, and spear wielding dwarves, where he was promptly shredded and stabbed into tiny mangled elf pieces.

[Agent_Irons]

Elf war AI sends ambushes, and then just more and more ambushes each time.
They not like goblins, they're not polite enough to announce how many there are and where they are before they attack.

My amusing death du jour is of a barn owl. Using the Cthulhu mod adds in 20s firearms, but removes all armor except those army helmets that are like salad bowls.

Anyway, I embarked on what seems to be an inexhaustible supply of galena, so all my furniture is lead and my ammunition is silver. Bullets made of bone and wood are almost useless, but bullets made of silver? My riflemen played tennis.

[Dunamisdeos]

I got this.

So this was on one of my earliest forts, before I had discovered cave-ins. The entire soil layer was nothing but varying types of sand. Right over the entrance is Urist McMinerDwarf, trying to even out the entrance by removing the sand overhang.

Underneath this and just inside the doors is a single turkey. Behind him and still within range of the impending cave-in dustwave are 5-8 dwarves doing whatever they felt was best at the time. The inevitable happens, and something like 12 tiles of sand plummet 3 z levels to impact just in front of the turkey. All of the dwarves, well within the range of the resulting shockwave, are untouched.

The turkey, however....

Both wings broken, spine broken, extreme pain, multiple internal injuries and other minor broken bones. Also its beak had been literally sandblasted from its face. It was gone. Over the next few months, dwarves walked in and out of the fortress as the turkey sat at the wayside of the fortress gates slowly bleeding out and trying vainly to push itself back inside the fortress with whatever moving parts it still had control over. Eventually, very eventually, it suffocated a few scant tiles from where it started.

[KiBoy]

My expedition leader ( legendary miner ) was channeling a top of the mountain and she made a 1 grass tile cave-in... Pretty standard right?

Well, she broke her liver, rib cage and she also had a BROKEN SKULL. Guess what? After passing out every few seconds for a few weeks she resumed her daily routine... Damn, dwarven women are TOUGH.