ACQUIRE CHIMPANZEE
ACQUIRE TYPEWRITER
COMBINE TO ACQUIRE SCENARIO WRITER
[1] YOU LEAVE YOUR BLOOD-SPATTERED PIANO AND GO CHASING AFTER A STRAY CHIMPANZEE AS CITY CRUMBLES AROUND YOU FROM WEIRD EARTHQUAKE-THING
YOU ALMOST CATCH IT, YOU JUMP FORWARDS, ARMS WIDE.. ONLY FOR IT TO QUICKLY CLIMB UP DRAINPIPE AS THE STREET YOU ARE STANDING ON COLLAPSES INTO GAPING CHASM FORMING IN EARTH
YOU DEAD Bust out of the rubble unharmed!
[6] WITH SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH YOU
BURST OUT OF THE RUBBLE, FLINGING DEBRIS IN ALL DIRECTIONS WHILST STRIKING A DRAMATIC, POWERFUL-YET-SEXY POSE!
UNFORTUNATELY YOUR SUPERHUMAN MOMENTUM PROPELS YOU UPWARDS INTO SUN
YOU DEADBust out of the rubble unharmed!
Ditto.
[5] YOU LET YOUR DITTO OUT OF ITS POKEBALL! IT IS ESCATIC TO BE FREE.
THEN YOU TRY AND ESCAPE RUBBLE [6]
NOT TO BE LEFT OUT, YOU FOLLOW LYEOS INTO THE GIGANTIC BALL OF FIERY DEATH THAT HANGS IN THE SKY
YOU DEADrandomly walk in from another town
I mug some mimes and convince passers by its a show
NOT peacefully I slowly torture them with the most painfull methods possible
(physical,and mental)
[5] YOU WALK. FROM REDNECK COUNTRY TOWN MILES NORTH. SOMEHOW, YOU WALK.
YOUR FEET PRETTY SORE BUT W/E YOU LOOK AROUND FOR PERSON TO MUG
[4] OH HEY IT'S SOME GUY BUSKING WITH A WEIRD MOUTH-BASED INSTRUMENT
[1]SUDDENLY YOU ARE CAUGHT BETWEEN WAVES OF SEISMIC FORCE, AND WAVES OF JAW HARP FORCE
YOUR INNARDS SQUISHED INTO JELLY, ALTHOUGH EVEN AS YOU DIE A VERY 'PAINFULL' (sic) DEATH YOU CAN'T HELP BUT BE AMAZED AT HOW GOSH DANG COOL THAT SOUNDS
YOU DEADGET CLOWN
COCK LIKE SHOTGUN
THREATEN PASSERBYS WITH
[5] YOU GRAB A NEARBY CLOWN BY THE, UH...
MALE CHICKEN AND BRANDISH HIM LIKE A GUN
[2] YOU ABOUT TO SHOUT AT PASSERSBY BUT LARGE CHUNK OF DEBRIS FALLS OFF BUILDING YOU STANDING NEXT YOU. CRUSHES YOUR LOWER BODY. AND THE POOR CLOWN'S
MALE CHICKEN. OUCH...
YOU DEADturn to prostitution
[4] UH
JUST WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO WRITE FOR THIS
YEAH, YOU GO TO A... PLACE AND YOU HIT UP SOME SEEDY LOOKING OLD MAN... ERGH... I DON'T... JUST...
SUDDENLY A TEAM OF PEOPLE DRESSED IN BLACK KEVLAR WITH "RTF LEGAL TEAM" PRINTED ON THE BACK BURST INTO YOUR DINGY HOTEL ROOM AS YOU COMMIT YOUR VILE DEEDS!!!11![5][5][2][4] [5] [4]VS [1]
THEY ALL OPEN FIRE WITH SUBMACHINEGUNS (APART FROM ONE GUY WHO HAS BAD INDIGESTION, STAYS IN DOORWAY LOOKING SORRY FOR HIMSELF) SHREDDING THE ROOM WITH BULLETS, BLASTING YOUR JOHN INTO CHUNKY SALSA AS HE SLAMS BACK AGAINST A WALL, AND GENERALLY PEPPERING WHOLE PLACE WITH TINY HOLES
NOT THAT THIS BOTHER YOU THOUGH COS YOU ALREADY DEAD FROM SUPER-FAST STD
YOU DEAD Counteract seismic waves with jaw harp waves.
[4] EPIC BATTLE ENSUES BETWEEN YOU AND EARTHQUAKE
AS YOU STAND STRONG IN MIDDLE OF STREET, JAWHARP PRESSED TO YOUR LIPS WITH A FIERCE LOOK OF CONCENTRATION, A SEEMING BUBBLE OF CALM APPEARS AROUND YOU, THEN SPREADS QUICKLY OUTWARD TO ENCOMPASS HALF THE STREET
A FEW PEOPLE GET PULPED BY SUDDEN CHANGE IN PRESSURE, BUT OH WELL
YOU SEE SHEER FORCE OF EARTHQUAKE RAGING JUST OUTSIDE YOUR BUBBLE, YOU FACE IT DOWN AS TERRIFIED BYSTANDERS CROWD AROUND YOU, THEIR ONE HOPE OF SALVATION, FOR SAFETY
TUMBLEWEED ROLLS PAST
GUITAR TWANGS IN DISTANCE
IT IS SUDDENLY VERY VERY QUIET
[1] VS [1] YOU SACRIFICE YOURSELF IN MOST HEROIC FASHION, BLOWIN AWAY ON YOUR TRUSTY HARDER AND HARDER, YOUR FACE TURNING RED AND THEN PURPLE, THROBBING VEINS PROTRUDING FROM YOUR FROWNY FOREHEAD, AND THEN, FINALLY, EVEN AS YOUR MORTAL ENEMY MISTER EARTHQUAKE DIES WITH A SUDDEN WHIMPER, YOU EXPLODE
THE CROWD OF PEOPLE YOU SAVED FROM CERTAIN EARTHQUAKE-Y DOOM RAISE A RAGGED CHEER, AND TOAST YOUR MEMORY WITH BOTTLES OF WATER LOWERED DOWN TO THEM FROM HELICOPTERS BY RED CROSS RELIEF TEAMS
AND THEN THEY ALL GO HOME TO TAKE SHOWER AND WASH YOUR BLOOD AND BRAINS OFF THESELVES
YOU (heroically)
DEADSHOW MUH STRENGTH BY RIPPING OFF EARS WITH BARE HANDS
[6] AW YEAH DUDE! YOU ARE LIKE, SOOOOO STRONG! YOU RIP YOUR EARS RIGHT OFF! MAN, THE GIRLS GONNA BE SO IMPRESSED!
UNFORTUNATELY YOUR HEAD COMES OFF TOO
YOU DIE WITH BIG SMILE ON YOUR SEVERED FACE
YOU DEAD Show my amazing talent by breaking the world record of breaking the most world records...ALL AT ONE TIME!!!
YOU START WITH WORLD RECORD FOR 'MOST BONES BROKEN SIMULTANEOUSLY' WHEN YOU ARE CAUGHT IN BATTLE BETWEEN JAW HARP AND EARTHQUAKE. WAVES OF SHEER SEISMIC/SONIC FORCE CRUSH YOU LIKE AND UNDER TOILET SEAT.
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THOSE ANTS
THEY CLIMB ON THE TOILET AND DIE EVERY. DAMN. TIME.
BUT STILL THEY DO NOT LEARN
FUCK ANTS
I DON'T LIKE THEM
YOU DEADInsult everyone.
[6] YOU INSULT THE GM, RAISING A FIST TO THE SKY AND RATTLING OFF A STRING OF INSULTS, ALL THE MORE HURTFUL BECAUSE THEY'RE TRUE, MAKING FUN OF GM'S CONSTANT FAILURE TO DO ANYTHING WORTHWHILE WITH HIS LIFE, HIS WEAK BABBY NOODLE ARMS, HIS LACK OF SOCIAL SKILLS, THOSE EMBARASSING HIGH SCHOOL MEMORIES YOU MIND-HACKED FROM HIM, AND MOST OF ALL HIS SHITTY RTDS THAT DIE ALL THE TIME
GM IS HURT
GM RESPONDS ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW
SMALL COTTAGE FALLS OUT OF SKY, CRUSHES YOU INTO GROUND
MUTHAFUCKIN
DOROTHY GETS OUT, AND TOTO, THE LATTER TAKES A WHIZ RIGHT ON YOUR FACE
YOU KNOW WHAT? SO DOES DOROTHY. YEAH. RIGHT ON YOUR DEAD FACE, YOU LIKE THAT BUDDY?! NOT SO TOUGH NOW HUH. THIS IS MY RTD, DEAL WITH IT. YEAH. AND THEN DOROTHY CLICKS HER RUBY READ UGG BOOTS TOGETHER AND TELEPORTS AWAY JUST AS CHASM OPENS IN GROUND AND ENTIRE COTTAGE, ALONG WITH BIG CHUNK OF SURROUNDINGS, FALLS INTO IT.
YOU DEAD Summon busk elementals to busk for me.
[3] STANDING ON TINY INTACT PILLAR AMIDST HUGE CHASM WHERE GM'S HOME CITY USED TO BE, YOU CAST YOUR ANCIENT SEEEEKRIT SPELLS AND STUFF AND SUMMON SOME WEIRD ELEMENTALS
ALL YOU CAN SEE OF THEM IS SLIGHT DISCOLOURATION IN THE AIR, BUT THEY SURE ARE FRIGGING NOISY
SOUNDS NICE THOUGH LIKE PURE MUSIC ELEVATOR MUZAK, ANYWAY
UNFORTUNATELY THERE IS NO-ONE LEFT ALIVE TO BUSK TO. NOT NEAR YOU, ANYWAY... SMALL BUBBLE OF CITY SEEMS INTACT, BUT YOU STRANDED.
[6] YOUR BUSK ELEMENTALS SO BEAUTIFUL, SO VERY HEART-WRENCHING AND BITTERSWEET IN THEIR MUSIC, THAT YOU BECOME UNCONTROLLABLY EMOTIONAL, EMPTY YOUR POCKETS AND FLING YOUR SPARE CHANGE INTO THE AIR AROUND YOU, THEN FLING YOURSELF OFF THE PILLAR, INTO THE DEEP BOWELS OF THE EARTH
JOYOUS TEARS STREAM FROM YOUR FACE AS YOU FALL, THAT YOU HAVE HEARD SUCH BEAUTIFUL MUSIC
YOU DEAD ...
.......WELL GEE GREAT WORK GUYS EVERYONE IS DEAD
ALSO YOU LEVELED MY CITY. I LIKED MY CITY. WHY YOU DO THAT?!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BUY COMIC BOOKS NOW?!?!
OH WELL. I GUESS YOU CAN ALL GO HOME THEN.
STAY TUNA'D FOR A NEW YOINK RTD COMING TO A TOASTER OVEN NEAR YOU!
THE END
Author
Topic: ROLL TO BUSK- FIN! (like a shark) (Read 5972 times)