Cool, cool.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the brief, fabulous adventure of
R Y E W O N D E R E D C H A N C E S...and yes, the RNG gave me that last name on the first go! Oh df, I ♥ you. Alas, I neglected to take a picture of her description, but here's where she started, roughly, and her stats:
Pigs. I hate 'em. Other villagers say pigs are good. Raise 'em for meat. Keep 'em as pets. Have them make friends with spiders. I say pigs are pigs. Their beady, evil little eyes, their bloodstained trotters, the disgusting mushrooms they dig up...ugh. I told everybody I was going to leave to kill all the pigs. "But Rye," they said, "Pigs are harmless woodland creatures! Why not kill some bandits, instead?" I remembered a time when I saw a pig up close. I remember it laughing and striking a menacing pose. I was surrounded by the pig. I was terrified.
"No," I told them, "I will kill pigs. I will kill all the pigs until they are dead, and then I will cut them up and wear their skins."
They sighed. They don't understand the hideous menace that would live right outside the town gates if the town had gates!
That was a good day. I went for a swim, I killed many pigs. This time, I was the one striking a menacing pose! I came home soaked in their blood, which I gleefully drank that night when I got thirsty. Luckily, pigs are not like vampires: you do not become one when you drink their blood.
The next day, I went out and found no pigs, because I had killed them. This made me very angry, of course, so instead I chased down a giraffe and clubbed it to death with the tusk of a pig. I watched the light in its eyes go out, as it pitifully whimpered "gi-raffe, gi-raffe" as all giraffes do. Then I ate its eyes. Not as good as beady pig eyes.
I heard a shout from nearby and went to investiage; maybe someone was under attack by pigs, and I would save them! I must keep people safe from pigs at all cost.
But no, it was no pig. It was merely a group of bandits. I threw water at them and bruised their stinking guts.
The pathetic bandit passed out under my furious onslaught, so I snuck up on him and cut off his head. Suddenly, I noticed another bandit, and threw the gory head at him.
Those two fools taken care of, I looted their bodies and came away an iron helm and a pair of bronze boots richer. I then threw my old shoes at their piggish leader!
Killing these bandits made me realize that there was more to life than killing pigs; I could kill people, too! This would solve so many problems for me. I suddenly remembered the bandits my treacherous, pig-loving "friends" back home had wanted me to kill, so I sought them out. Almost right away, I tripped over one, who considerately pulled my sword out of the gaping wound in his chest.
Unfortunately, after I'd cut off a couple of his limbs, he noticed me standing their next to him lopping away and called out to his friends, who shot me full of arrows and I died. The last thing I ever saw before i died was the severed head of a pig I'd been carrying around with me. At least I died happy.
It is a good thing these murderous bandits do not have any slabs, tools, or a crafting workshop. One day, one day...I will rise again as a ghost, and my vengeful spirit will be the death of all the pigs who dare walk these woods. The bandits, too, will fear my name, once the greater threat has been eliminated once and for all.
...In case you hadn't guessed, most of her kills were wild boars, and I used social skills as dump stats. Basically, she was a complete sociopath and it's probably for the best that she died. Y'know, like most adventurers.
Since my adventurer died before finding any awesome spots to settle down, I suppose I'll just have to build one. I'll post back with the save in a few days, when I've made a cabin for folks to visit and a fort for them to explore! Huzzah!
(Don't worry, if anything happens that means I won't be able to accomplish one of the goals in a reasonable amount of time, I'll post the save ASAP.)
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Topic: King of the Hill: An Adventure Mode Succession Thread (Read 19718 times)