Turn 4, A Modest ProposalEdwin is a tad relieved when the orc leaves without causing trouble - mighty nice of the fella to do so, he thinks, considering that he did eat the previous guy he had met, apparently. Perhaps the spirit of politeness and compassion lives on somewhere in this world.
"Oh dear, oh dear, that was quite the fellow, I say! The brutality and penchant for violence of these people is greatly exaggerated, I think. Ah, well, time to get hiking," he says out loud as always, moving out once more and getting out on the road, a process that takes slightly less time than getting to the deserted town - from there, he moves southward, hoping to make good time on his way to the next town, Yungor - many miles away it may be, but he is not one to be dissuaded by distance - walking the earth is what he was trained for, after all!
Walking the distance takes quite a bit of resolve - the night grows only darker and darker, and Edwin becomes less and less reassured about proceeding forward, and less confident by the minute that the dawn will, indeed, approach at some point - the night certainly doesn't look like it's about to retreat. It gets to the point where even the Moon passes behind a cloud, and then it truly does become nearly pitch black - Edwin can hardly even see his own hand in front of his face, let alone the road he's supposed to be treading in the forbidding depths of the forest. But onward he continues, letting the feel of the dirt road guide him rather than his own eyes, and eventually he does reach a point where the road widens - however, what this might mean, he can't see, though he does get a reasonable idea when he bumps into some kind of wooden structure and it immediately crumbles under his weight - unless he just destroyed its only artifact, there ought to be some civilization around here - now he just had to find it!
* * * * *
Emilia, her plans formed and goals set, knows the very next thing she must do - the same thing any adventuring woman of enterprise does when out of money, and that is to go to the inn and find work, and also maybe some sort of hint at where to find buried treasure and whatnot. Fortunately, she knows exactly where to find one such inn of adventure, since she did spend the night in the stable of one. She moves into the inn confidently, finding it remarkably and mildly offputtingly quiet on the inside - the innkeeper. a gentleman of width and breadth, seems to be busying himself with the reading of a book by candlelight. Emilia approaches carefully enough not to disturb, but audibly enough to be perceived - the innkeeper looks up, and seems quite pleased to see her.
"Mm? Yes? How can I help you?" he asks, and Emilia isn't sure how to ask this man for a job or for rumors - the stories make it seem so simple, but she gets the feeling the authors of those particular stories don't really know how conversations work.
"Yes, well..." she goes, leaning in on the innkeeper's table.
"It's not really a question of how you can help me," she says.
"Rather, it's a question of how I can help you.""Ah?" the innkeeper says, raising an eyebrow.
"You will find that I am a woman of many skills, sir," Emilia continues, leaning in closer.
"Widely traveled. Experienced. Adept at a great many arts you could not expect the average woman around here to even know of.""Oh. Uh..." the innkeeper says, beginning to sweat a little.
"Imagine, a woman like me at your disposal. For only a nominal fee, no less," Emilia says, tilting her head questioningly. The innkeeper doesn't seem to be entirely comfortable, and it takes a moment before he seems to decide on what to say and leans in to whisper something back.
"Look, not today. Maybe come back the day after tomorrow, I think the wife's gonna be out to see her parents then, and maybe we can work something out," he says, then retreats a bit.
"I'm afraid I can't help you with that, milady - I think the cabbage merchant's long gone by now," he says noticeably more loudly, his eyes slightly wide as he gestures with his head toward the door. Emilia is about to say more, but the innkeeper points at the door again, shaking his head vigorously.
* * * * *
Brennus knows better than to say no when a lady offers him free food!
"Ehh, I could always eat," he says, speaking the absolute truth. This seems to please the woman.
"Fantastic! I will get things ready in a moment, just wait!" she says, turning to the old man.
"Come, father, we must prepare dinner!"The old man nods and passively stalks after the woman as they both walk upstairs. Brennus, not sure where a man would be expected to put himself while waiting for dinner, just begins to pace, his stomach agitated by the mention of food, the hunger slowly beginning to build up as he waits. As it turns out, he does not need to wait very long at all - soon the woman pokes her head into the store again.
"Dinner is ready! Come upstairs!" she shouts, and Brennus, finding the news to his liking, grunts and follows until he finds the woman and her father at a table, four seats prepared along with food - some kind of thrown-together stew, clearly made in a bit of a rush from uncertain ingredients, but Brennus supposes it is edibly greenish-brown in color and has potatoes in it, so he can't exactly complain. All three of them take a seat at the table, leaving the fourth one, which happens to be right next to the old man's seat, conspicuously empty.
"Right then, let's begin," the lady says and begins quickly eating the stew - the old man also digs in, and Brennus, not one to be left behind, follows suit. The next events play out a bit like an eating contest, with Brennus and his huge maw coming in dead last, surprisingly enough. Admittedly, the stew not being very good may have played in favor of the other two - the old man especially, who ate like a ravenous piglet the whole way through. Must have quite the appetite despite his age.
"So, erm, Brennus, what do you do?" the woman begins after they are all done with their meals.
* * * * *
Derek knows that it is a good question he has been asked - why is he naked again?
"Well," he begins, signaling for more ale to be brought.
"Well. It’s a long story, but I suppose we have time, eh."And so, accompanied by the rhythmic, regular arrival of more ale and the intermittent polite hmms and ahs of Ehran, Derek begins to ramble and drink, and drink and ramble, and then maybe ramble some more, accompanied by yet more drinking. Eventually, he has moved so far off the subject that he feels that maybe he should have a bit of a recap.
"So basically, you see, one day I was very very drunk, and whilst I was very drunk, I was visited by God. He commanded me to become naked, but obviously I resisted – who would in their right mind want to become publicly naked, unless there were a God that commanded thus, or a God that desired it be so? I was skeptical, of course, but then God smashed both my legs into tiny pieces, so I hurriedly obeyed – he kept destroying my legs until I was fully declothed, and nobly so. I said unto Karse, for then I realized it was her, Karse, what have you done! My legs, they are ruined! And Karse answered back unto me, Well, yes, sorry about that – behold! I give you the gift of fiery magic, and of being my prophet, for the faith that made you listen, and the righteous fear that made you naked. From this day onwards, Derek the Naked Jackal, as you shall be known, from this day onwards, you must remain naked, and my blessing shall be upon you. Yea. And so you remember that I can be both a righteous and gratuitously violent god, as well as a kindly god who doth reward her followers, I shall grant unto you the gift of fiery magic. Now, you see, if it were just me legs, I might have thought that I’d just got so eejitarsed drunk that I smashed them meself, but I had the strongest vague memory of the whole episode, and indeed, after, I found that I could both wield magic (although not at will, for some reason that must just have been for her amusement I can only wield it drunk) and also speak directly, at times, to my God," he rambles drunkenly onward, nodding at the verisimilitude of his own words as if he had heard another just say them in a temple.
"So you see, I strive to achieve constant nakedness for God commanded me so, and I fear for my other limbs should I resist. I have great faith that Karse will raise me above the average plane of life if I heed her commands, but I also have proof that she will batter me senseless should I disobey. That, indeed, is a wise and just God."Before continuing, he asks for more drink.
"And I suppose you might ask, well, why should Karse desire such nakedness? Tis a good question. But I, for one, see it thus: nudity is both pure and jovial, which my lady Karse admires, and personifies. And nudity is, above all, cool, and when the end times cometh, as they surely do, they will bring fire, and burning, and climactic change and its accompanying elevated temperature – and Karse wants us humans to survive! And to do so, we must not overheat," he says with deadly seriousness, staring Ehran right in the eye - Ehran, shockingly, stares right back, and slightly dully at that.
"Of course, there are many other reasons Karse prefers nudity, and indeed they say that nudiness is next to godliness – a wise man might for example wonder why man is not born from the womb fully dressed, were we meant to be like that. But I remain convinced that Karse, as a god what loves her true followers, wants her true followers to survive the apocalypse, and so commands nudity. Amen," he then concludes his speech. Ehran raises his hand, and Derek looks at him for a moment quizzically before he lowers it and asks a question.
"So, yeah, I was having one of them questions. I was thinking we were wearing clothes so we don't freeze our bits off. I had a friend who was all with the freezing his bits off once - he was hurting, hurting real bad. Wound up losing bits. Never the same again. So, why can we not just be doing the nudity thing when it's getting hot?" Ehran wonders, his gaze level and his voice becoming real curious all of a sudden.
Derek: 5 MP
Wilhelm: 6 MP
Emilia: 5 MP
Edwin: 5 MP
Brennus: 5 MP
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Topic: Birth of a Deity: Turn 17, Multitudinous Failures of Words (Read 25568 times)