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[Puppyguard]

Parchment of Throwing: Endows the holder temporary legendary +5 throwing when throwing the parchment, and becomes made of steel. However, as soon as it is thrown, both of these effects end.
Transformo-Fish: A living fish that must be kept alive in water to be used. Transforms the user into a fish, but what they don't know is that the fish actually swaps places with the user, and whoever is a fish is immune to aging.

[NAV]

Can the parchment of throwing be folded into a paper airplane? Can it be wrapped around or affixed to another object that you want to throw, such as a spear or rock?

I can definitly imagine wrapping the parchment around the shaft of a javeling for a single legendary+5 throw at a critical moment.

[TalonisWolf]

Rag of Disappointment: It is a glowing rag. That's it...

Podium of Resentment: Anything you say while standing at this podium is twisted and mangled into something that will turn your allies against you. Your enemies already hate you, as such they are unaffected.

[King Zultan]

The Bucket of Emptiness: It has nothing in it and can never have any thing in it, any thing put in it disappears.
The Lamp of Infinite Darkness: It can never be turned on and no light can be on near it.

[Draignean]

Sword of the North: A powerfully enchanted longsword that can only be used effectively when the user is facing north.

Tesselan's Trick Barricade: A belt pouch filled with small metal pieces of varying sizes and peculiar shapes. It can be used to create a two inch thick steel wall of nearly an shape, up to a 30'x30' square panel. To do, so the user sketches the shape of the barricade he wishes to create on a sheet of paper, and then empties the bag onto the sheet of paper. A set of metal pieces will fallout that are capable of exactly filling the given shape, but their method of fitting may be exceedingly complex. Once fitted, the barricade will spring into being where the user visualized it. The bag refills with metal pieces once each day.

[TalonisWolf]

Stalwart Boots:While wearing these boots, you are an unmovable force!*

_{*Please note that 'unmovable' does not equate to 'invulnerable'- a shield or buckler is heavily recommended.}

[Paxiecrunchle]

The Bucket of Emptiness: It has nothing in it and can never have any thing in it, any thing put in it disappears.
The Lamp of Infinite Darkness: It can never be turned on and no light can be on near it.

The bucket of emptiness sounds like an item that would be a must have for assassins, just drop body parts into it, poof they're gone forever.

[Ozarck]

Necktie of Mood Weather: Sings happy songs when you are happy, and shines sunlight. Sings sad songs when you are sad, and drips rainclouds. Sings angry songs when you are angry and shoots lightning and strong wind.

The Bucket of Emptiness: It has nothing in it and can never have any thing in it, any thing put in it disappears.
The Lamp of Infinite Darkness: It can never be turned on and no light can be on near it.

The bucket of emptiness sounds like an item that would be a must have for assassins, just drop body parts into it, poof they're gone forever.

I think garbage men would find it more useful.

Of course, the gradual elimination of matter from the universe could end up being a serious probloem, but we'll let the hypersentient floating brains we eventually evolve into worry about that.

[NJW2000]

Bucket of emptying: whenever something is put in the bucket, it empties itself.

[IcyTea31]

The Bucket of Emptiness actually exists in a few games, under the name Bag of Devouring. In a cruel twist of fate, it looks exactly like a Bag of Holding.

Hat of Derealization: this hat, folded of a thin sheet of lightweight metal, over time convinces its wearer that the world they're in is fictional. The Fourth Wall remains unbroken.

[Ozarck]

Conversational Leggings: These leggings generate conversational sentences, which are printed across the fabric. The sentences may be conversation starters, viable replies ot recent statements, or off topic asides. The direction and location of the Sentence generated varies per occurance.

[IcyTea31]

"Is that a dick joke in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

[wierd]

Useless magical items you say?

How about this:

It's an amulet, used to cheat death. 

Sounds about like your typical magical device, right?  Except, this one works by halting time, and rendering all forms of interaction with the "very soon to be dead" person impossible, trapping them in the last few microseconds before death, for the rest of the lifespan of the universe. It's whole purpose is to keep the soul of the soon to be departed from actually going to a final destination, by preventing them from actually dieing, but doing nothing whatsoever to repair or fix what has caused them to become near death, and prevents any action that could change their status.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Useless magical items you say?

How about this:

It's an amulet, used to cheat death. 

Sounds about like your typical magical device, right?  Except, this one works by halting time, and rendering all forms of interaction with the "very soon to be dead" person impossible, trapping them in the last few microseconds before death, for the rest of the lifespan of the universe. It's whole purpose is to keep the soul of the soon to be departed from actually going to a final destination, by preventing them from actually dieing, but doing nothing whatsoever to repair or fix what has caused them to become near death, and prevents any action that could change their status.

That's not useless! It's positively harmful, cursed, worse than useless, could even be weaponized to cause generations of suffering if say one presented it as a gift to say a king or some such.

Then a second graduations, you would make a devious GM and if you ever host any roll plays I would feel honored if you let me play in them.
Whichever wizard created that sort of contraption should have to wear it and set for fate worse than death for even trying to unleash that upon the world.

[Ozarck]

The Room of Holding: This is a room, could be any room, really, any size or shape. It's distinctive feature is that it's walls, and possibly it's ceiling and floor, are completely lined with hands. the hands close on any object placed in them and will hold it in place until someone removes the object. Each hand can hold a standard humanoid's typical carrying weight for an indefinite time. Multiple hands can work together to hold larger items.

(Maybe more 'bizarre' than 'silly,' but I think it fits the theme well enough.)