GM:Peer over smurfingtonthethird's shoulder and see if he's cheating with the dice.
Player:Touch the white thingy.
((Honest to god, these are the actual rolls. Did you kick a few hundreds puppies or something?))
[1] Nope. You get turned into a carrot for even suggesting it.
[6]
Knowledge floods through your brain. The basic movements of the machine, operation methods, capabilities, characteristics, existing equipment, active time limits, movement range, sensitivity, radar search, armor residue, energy output, all of it makes sense. It reforms over your body like a tight fitting combat suit. Jet propulsion systems activated, it feels much lighter now. The default weapon, a large combat knife appears in your hand. You feel like you've been using this machine for years.
Then you realise you've been seen by a lot of people. Shit. They look pretty goddamn shocked.
Expel the poison, keep the power.
[4]
Considering the power was in the poison, you lose a lot of it. You still have some residue, though.
Ooh, a combine. Interesting.Make bear-proof booze!
[6]
Nothing can drink it. NOTHING
Try it again. With Telvanni bug musk this time.
[5]
You get a good population. WINRAR
No! It's my arch-nemesis, Evil Intergalactic Space Pope! Order one part of the fleet to potatofy the enemy while the rest open a portal to the cheese dimension within the enemy ships!
[1]
Too slow! They close the portal! The megapotato is in grave danger!
Scream so loud that I break open a hole in the dimensional barrier. Jump through. All the kids are making nations, I figure I should start.
[2]
You just hurt your ears. Reality isn't that fragile.
"Hey, you're the one who didn't plan ahead. And you're a god. Just make another one that doesn't catch fire you ignorant twit."
[6]
He squishes you like a bug. That was a shitty idea.
With our new industrial base, begin colonizationof SPEHSS.
[3]
Not many colonists go.
Back to being a bread. Check to see where the Nanoforge has gone.
[4]
It's on Venus because reasons.
Kruphix: "Eight items, fourteen of us. Easily done. We're in."
Erebos: "...Yes...Task...Accepted...
[4]
First task: get the quindimensional artifact out of the corruption in space-time in universal cluster [REDACTED]. Here's a warp pad and a containment sphere.Make fun of the homeless
[3]
They crush you with a morally superior argument. Fuck.
PUT A DONK ON IT
[1]
THAT MAKES NO SENSE