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Author Topic: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur  (Read 5026 times)

Worldmaster27

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2014, 11:00:21 am »

Tell him you're King Arthur! Also, prepare to run him over with your motorcycle.
+1 but don't run him over. Instead, fly over the wall if we need to.
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NRDL

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #16 on: April 30, 2014, 04:10:17 pm »

+1 to the above, but please, say:

"I am ARTHUR, KING OF THE BRITONS."
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cerapa

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #17 on: April 30, 2014, 04:34:48 pm »

Roll for Regality!
1d5+4 = 6
Difficulty of dirty peasant: 6
Success!

You fly across the gate with your motorcycle while shouting "I am ARTHUR, KING OF THE BRITONS." You make a decent landing but leave a nasty track on the other side. The guard is disoriented and very, very confused, especially as he has no clue who the hell the Britons are. Without thinking, he kneels before you. After some deliberation, he decides that you are most likely a king of some kind, mostly because of the crown. He also remembers some vague bullshit about the village still being ruled by a king.

Meanwhile your motorcycling antics gathered a small crowd. The guard explains to them that you are "King Arthur, king of the Bread-doughs". You correct him on the pronounciation of Britons. Sadly the townsfolk remain unconvinced by this display of obvious regality. You explain to them that you are the rightful ruler of the village. Sadly they still remain unconvinced. In response a voice from the crowd shouts out: "Then get rid of the damn werewolves ya pansy!", another shouts "What the hell is a "king" doing here anyway?"

These are the rudest peasants you have ever encountered. Aside from the ones of your home village of course.

How do you respond to these dirty peasants and their questions?




Arthur, Rightful King

Health
</////>

Piety
<//////////>

Regality
<//////////>

Motorcycle Fuel
</////>

Inventory:
Awesome crown (+2 effective Regality)
Arcane Motorcycle (Added Motorcycle Fuel)
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Lyeos

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #18 on: April 30, 2014, 04:36:38 pm »

Ask them to provide you with a sword, and a Leather Belt of Spanking +1! Then you will be able to take care of the wolves! Also point out that with the crazy poisonous walls, they could have poisoned some bait and used it to lure out and kill the werewolves.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2014, 04:43:15 pm by Lyeos »
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NRDL

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #19 on: April 30, 2014, 04:42:12 pm »

Ask them to provide you with a sword, and a Leather Belt of Spanking +1! Then you will be able to take care of the wolves! Also point out that with the crazy poisonous walls, they could have poisoned some bait and used it to lure out and kill the wolves.

+1

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Worldmaster27

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #20 on: April 30, 2014, 04:43:27 pm »

Ask for some meat that is covered in mold. Then ask for a sword. After that we go poison the werewolves and claim we killed them all with our sword.
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Harbingerjm

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #21 on: April 30, 2014, 08:01:55 pm »

Ask for some meat that is covered in mold. Then ask for a sword. After that we go poison the werewolves and claim we killed them all with our sword.
Seems legit.
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darkpaladin109

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #22 on: April 30, 2014, 08:27:54 pm »

Ask for some meat that is covered in mold. Then ask for a sword. After that we go poison the werewolves and claim we killed them all with our sword.
Seems legit.
+1
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NRDL

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #23 on: May 01, 2014, 01:44:38 am »

Ask for some meat that is covered in mold. Then ask for a sword. After that we go poison the werewolves and claim we killed them all with our sword.
Seems legit.
+1

Changing my vote to this +1
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Prophet

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #24 on: May 01, 2014, 02:03:25 am »

Ask them to provide you with a sword, and a Leather Belt of Spanking +1! Then you will be able to take care of the wolves! Also point out that with the crazy poisonous walls, they could have poisoned some bait and used it to lure out and kill the werewolves.

+1
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

cerapa

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #25 on: May 01, 2014, 01:06:56 pm »

"I can rid you of this menace!" You proudly proclaim. "Give me a sword and some moldy meat, and I shall return with the corpses of your enemies!" The people seem to be impressed by your insanity, and give you piece of meat, which you then proceed to uncomfortably rub against the moldy walls. It takes a bit longer for them to procure the sword. Not having any better alternatives, they replace a sleeping guards sword with a wooden shovel, and make a pact, that as far as anyone is concerned, he has always wielded a shovel.

You are then informed of the nature of your quest. There is a violent pack of werewolves a bit to the north, mostly composed of infected angsty poets that came to these woods for inspiration. Of course by inspiration I mean a local breed of hallucinogenic mushrooms. In any case, they are stoner werewolves now. They mostly hang out at a particular pond surrounded by mushrooms.

The guard you converted offers to join you on your mission to get rid of the werewolves. You think he is trying to get you to knight him or something.

Do you accept the offer of the guard?
What is the battle plan?



Arthur, Rightful King

Health
</////>

Piety
<//////////>

Regality
<//////////>

Motorcycle Fuel
</////>

Inventory:
Awesome crown (+2 effective Regality)
Arcane Motorcycle (Added Motorcycle Fuel)
Moldy meat (Poisonous)
Guardsmans sword (Stabby, stabby +1)
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Worldmaster27

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #26 on: May 01, 2014, 01:15:36 pm »

Accept the guard's offer!
When we reach the pond, stay hidden and leave the meat in a place that they will find easily. We then have our guard friend (possibly ourself) finish off the rest who weren't poisoned.
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NRDL

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #27 on: May 01, 2014, 04:15:19 pm »

Accept the guard's offer!
When we reach the pond, stay hidden and leave the meat in a place that they will find easily. We then have our guard friend (possibly ourself) finish off the rest who weren't poisoned.


+1
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Harbingerjm

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #28 on: May 01, 2014, 05:10:43 pm »

Accept the guard's offer!
When we reach the pond, stay hidden and leave the meat in a place that they will find easily. We then have our guard friend (possibly ourself) finish off the rest who weren't poisoned.

+1
+1
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15:35   HugoLuman reads Harb his secret spaghetti recipe

Lyeos

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Re: Ode of the Landfish - The Tale of King Arthur
« Reply #29 on: May 01, 2014, 05:11:29 pm »

Accept the guard's offer!
When we reach the pond, stay hidden and leave the meat in a place that they will find easily. We then have our guard friend (possibly ourself) finish off the rest who weren't poisoned.

+1
+1

+1, take a horse rather than the motorcycle so we'll have plenty of fuel in case we need to flee.
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