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[kaenneth]

Victim blaming is a real thing. But men get that card played against them as well.

Went with a friend to the public library the other day, he suggested bringing my new laptop, I said I didn't want to risk it getting lost or stolen.

While we were there, a (literally) retarded woman made a huge scene for about an hour, screaming like a 4 year old because her Kindle got stolen, eventually mall cops took her away for disturbing the other patrons...

My thoughts (which is the point of this anecdote) were between satisfaction that I had made a good decision myself, and thinking she made the mistake of leaving expensive property unattended, and the thought of the possibility that she might not have had a Kindle in the first place, but was trying to get someone to buy her one out of pity/scam, annoyance at the disturbance she was making, and very little pity.

In an ideal world, she should have been able to leave her valuables unattended for a moment. But this is the real world.

[scrdest]

My thoughts (which is the point of this anecdote) were between satisfaction that I had made a good decision myself, and thinking she made the mistake of leaving expensive property unattended, and the thought of the possibility that she might not have had a Kindle in the first place, but was trying to get someone to buy her one out of pity/scam, annoyance at the disturbance she was making, and very little pity.

What you have just described is a perfect example of Just World Hypothesis. We prefer to believe bad things don't happen to good people, so when something bad happens to someone, people default to assuming the person was bad and assume the burden of proof is on proving the person is not bad. Hence, victim blaming.

[Neonivek]

Victim blaming also has a firm root in, people are just plain stupid.

Leaving something out and expecting it to be there when you get back? Your own fault it got stolen. Though not to the extent that the person who did it is blameless (assuming it is a misfortune that required someone to enact it.)

Victim blaming hits its limitations when someone is being blamed for something that isn't their fault.

So if someone attended their belongings, but they were valuable, they are blameless if someone runs up there and steals it anyway. Sure, if you didn't have things people wanted to steal no one would steal any, but that is beyond cause and effect... The person wasn't the instrument of their own demise.

Even then though blaming the victim is often jerkish if something really bad happened. For example the guy who went rock climbing, alone, without his cellphone, in the middle of no-where who broke all his limbs and had to travel all the way back to civilization by limping, which he is blameless for something bad happening... He is to blame for A) Not carrying a cellphone, B) Not having a partner there, and C) not telling anyone where he was. But BOY would you look like a jerk if you gave him that lecture while he is in the hospital.

As for women and victim blaming... No opinion.

[DJ]

Man, I always thought that was in order to look good for women/self and be able to lift larger things (that is what my boyfriends said).

Well of course they'd say that, because men go out of their way to avoid showing fear. But I don't think you can appreciate just how much of a constant the threat of violence is for men. If you get into a conflict with someone, no matter how minor it is, and the other dude is bigger than you and he thinks he can get away with it (ie no witnesses), he *will* will punch your lights out, 9 times out of 10. Ie, most men will readily assault another man, but only a minority of men will assault a woman.

[Neonivek]

It depends what circles you are in DJ. I hear that sort of behavior from dingy bars... but not from anyone I know.

Then again I am 6'4'' so 'I' am the big guy most of the time.

But I will say that... if a guy beats you up, the generally accepted line of thought is that you should just accept it and especially not call the police. Even if you didn't do anything wrong.

[DJ]

I've seen guys break into a fistfight over a parking spot, and all sorts of other minor conflicts.

And yeah, going to the police will make everyone lose any respect for you they might have had.

[Neonivek]

I've seen guys break into a fistfight over a parking spot, and all sorts of other minor conflicts.

And yeah, going to the police will make everyone lose any respect for you they might have had.

It seems to be a common trend that men under-report things.

Ever wondered why it seems like nothing bad happens to guys? Well for some crimes, this is exactly it.

[Korbac]

I've seen guys break into a fistfight over a parking spot, and all sorts of other minor conflicts.

And yeah, going to the police will make everyone lose any respect for you they might have had.

It seems to be a common trend that men under-report things.

Ever wondered why it seems like nothing bad happens to guys? Well for some crimes, this is exactly it.

Jesus christ DJ. I am a small, annoying dweeb and I've only been in two fights my entire life, which could easily have been dodged. Where do you live? O_O

(Also about the police thing, I totally understand. Unless my life was in danger, I'd probably just suck it up; probably end up doubling my gym regime for the next month or something.)

[Tiruin]

Man, I always thought that was in order to look good for women/self and be able to lift larger things (that is what my boyfriends said).

Well of course they'd say that, because men go out of their way to avoid showing fear. But I don't think you can appreciate just how much of a constant the threat of violence is for men. If you get into a conflict with someone, no matter how minor it is, and the other dude is bigger than you and he thinks he can get away with it (ie no witnesses), he *will* will punch your lights out, 9 times out of 10. Ie, most men will readily assault another man, but only a minority of men will assault a woman.

...Yeah, no.
This seems like generalizing. Really big generalizing.
The note behind in my guess is primarily due to what beliefs or values exist in the first place--like here, we don't have men fighting each other because one is stronger or bigger or more muscly. A few bad words uttered, then that's it. Nobody's stupid enough to get into fists when they can finish it by words. Using statistics to push these things forwards needs more context than that.
Though we do have a high rate of pickpocketing and a rather extremely low, low rate of assault or murder. >_>
Usually the perpetrators [Assault/Murder] have...problems and/or were paid to do it. :/

I've seen guys break into a fistfight over a parking spot, and all sorts of other minor conflicts.

And yeah, going to the police will make everyone lose any respect for you they might have had.

:x Pretty hostile...though is it common?
Expound the second orange line please?

[Korbac]

While it's what you *should* do, I think it's a bit like when you're in school, and you keep nagging the teacher because someone is repeatedly annoying you. People view it as your problem... I guess?

Edit : Getting someone else to metaphorically fight your own battles I suppose.

[Neonivek]

a rather extremely low, low rate of assault

Of reported Assaults.

Did you adjust for the number of unreported crimes?

[Tiruin]

a rather extremely low, low rate of assault

Of reported Assaults.

Did you adjust for the number of unreported crimes?

That was already adjusted. :v

[Neonivek]

*Checks internet*

uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh

I think I'd just let DJ take this one Tiruin... O_O

I kind of want to unsee what I just saw. Bosnia has problems >_< is what I am saying.

[Tiruin]

He should've said the context
I mean, without that it seems like every 9/10 of every man would do that, and that as a fact is untrue...

[aenri]

a rather extremely low, low rate of assault

Of reported Assaults.

Did you adjust for the number of unreported crimes?

That was already adjusted. :v

How can you even adjust for that? My criminology textbook compared the number of reported to unreported crimes to tip of the iceberg. 1 out of 10 crimes are reported. I have also seen other figures like 50% of crimes are not reported.

Also I agree with DJ, fights between men are normal and no one will really go report it to police. Reasons are most likely order - drunk disagreement, girls or road rage.

Thats what I could call normal fights. On the other hand we have gypsy scum who attack indiscriminately and only when they have numerical superiority. 5 to 1 is the definition of gypsy fair fight.