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Fast, as often as I have time and there is a suggestion.

Medium fast, a cross between ^ and V.

Medium, wait for at least three posts before updating.

Medium slow, a cross between V and ^.

Slow, one update a day.

[~Neri]

(Expanded on the explanation btw, you now know KnWa's normal equipment proficiencies.)

You applaud loudly, good thing the mic is set to mute right?

You get your pancakes and leave your house searching for something to shoot at, all that blood made you want meat.

you walk along the dirt road for a few minutes before turning and walking into the forest, the moon is about to go down and the scent of of recent rain is heavy in the air. This is a rather forested area, The scent of pine and rain wafts around you. It is rather dark and the trees don't help very much with this. most of the bushes and undergrowth reach your knees.

?[8] You find something to shoot at, it is a Honey Badger and it is leaping out of the bushes at you.

The Honey Badger lunges at you, l[8] d[7] you almost dodge it but it rakes a claw across your shoulder, cg[2]d it hurts, b?[3] it is not deep enough to cause major bleeding, it still hurts though. And you dropped the pancake plate ds?[1] the pancakes scattered across the floor and the plate shattered on a rock... 5H17!

You retaliate, firing your shotgun shghf[5] into the Honey Badger, hitting it shghf[24]d dead on and shredding its torso, it is quite dead now. Looks like you found dinner!

You poke the corpse a few times.

You should probably get patched up.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Consume pancakes to replenish HP! Then go home and patch up.

Also put the Honey Badger mutilated corpse into inventory.

[~Neri]

(Edited the post, forgot to include a role I put in and added some general environment in, are you sure you want to eat those pancakes?)

[Avis-Mergulus]

Alright, put pancakes and the corpse into inventory, go home, wash the pancakes, then consume them for that delicious HP replenishment. Brag to friends that we give even less of a shit than honey badger, then remember we're bleeding and go patch ourselves up.

I shall sleep now, be back in ¿ten? hours.

[~Neri]

You retrieve the pancakes and put them into your pockets, maybe you shouldn't have brought them with you during a hunting session.

You grab the corse by the leg and begin dragging it back to the road ni?[2]. You hear some rustling and Another Honey Badger leaps out at you la[2] and completely misses, you counterattack and fire at it with your shotgun shghf[17] shghf[6]d hitting it in the head and dropping it. Its head is mostly torn up and it is quite dead.

N0w wh47?

[birdy51]

What else? Dinner.

[Erils]

Take both Honey Badgers and head home. Disinfect and bandage our shoulder to prevent infection. Wash pancakes and eat them to replenish health. Check on Stephen again. If he is done killing people he might be able to tell us why he is doing so. Then skin, gut and smoke the badgers so the meat last longer.

[NAV]

Take both Honey Badgers and head home. Disinfect and bandage our shoulder to prevent infection. Wash pancakes and eat them to replenish health. Check on Stephen again. If he is done killing people he might be able to tell us why he is doing so. Then skin, gut and smoke the badgers so the meat last longer.

This, except wash the pancakes with maple syrup.

[~Neri]

You wander back to your house, the sun is beginning to come up.

You drag the corpses across your cluttered living room, trailing blood behind you and plop them in your kitchen. You run the pancakes under the tap for a bit, put some syrup on them and then eat them, they are soggy and to particularly pleasant, they taste slightly of dirt and maple syrup, they are somewhat filling though.

You go to the bathroom and get a medical kit out, you turn on the shower and try to rinse out the cut clw[3], you don't think you got much out of it, you try again clw[1] and accidentally turn the heat up. 0H FUCK 7H47 6URN51 You try yet again clw[5] and do an adequate job to move on.

You pour some medicinal alcohol on the wound and brace for the pain htdh![3] You don't brace very well and wind up screaming on the floor. 000000000WWWWWW! 909 D4MN 17! After a while you get up and move on.

You're pretty sure it isn't deep enough to need stitches mk?[5] so you get a bandage and wrap it around your shoulder and under your armpit several times bp?[10] and wrap it extremely well, given a few days and that scratch will be completely gone. 

(I'm wondering why you guys/girls thought health regenerated from food, that doesn't make very much sense to me and therefore wounds behave realistically in this.)

You go and try to skin and gut the badgers bahf[5] bahf[2] and clean them both out quite well, one was perfectly cleaned, the other less so but still mostly cleaned out.

You begin attempting to smoke them sahf[10] sahf[4] and they both start going really well, it'll take a few hours before they are done.

You then go and see if Stephen will talk to you.

HaFu to KnWa

 5:47am===Hafu> H3y, 1 N071c3d y0u w3r3 k1ll1n9 p30pl3 34rl13r, why? 4l50 1 7h1nk 17'5 fl1pp1n9 4w350m3 7h47 y0u w3r3 46l3 70,4ll m3n4c1n9 4nd c00l.
 5:47am===HaFu> 1 ju57 k1ll3d 7w0 64d93r5 6y 7h3 w4y, 5m0k1n9 7h3m n0w. 1 c4n 91v3 l355 5h175 7h3n 4 64d93r n0w!
 5:51am===HaFu> Y0u 7h3r3?
 5:53am===HaFu> L37 m3 kn0w wh3n y0u 937 0n.
 
It is 5:54am.
(Would you believe me if I told you that this entire update was written well I sat on the toilet? Would you believe me if I told you this is the only update that I have written well not listening to Homestuck music?)

[Parsely]

(bskw is a weapon type and wielder attack bonus ref, so I don't need to go back into my papers and check on the attack/damage stats, you will notice many of the sequences of letters come with die rolls, they mean various things. bs means broadsword, which has a total hit of 1-20 damage normally and a 11/15 chance of hitting, and kw stands for KnightlyWanderer who has a +5 bonus to anything relating to two handed swords or spears and a +5 to heavy armor resistance or deflection rolls, the bonus is added to it after the roll, you guys/girls see the raw unmodified roll.)

((Oh no keep it in. I can totally relate to using shortcuts so that you don't need to reference as much. Its a good thing.

Will we get to see the detailed stats a bit further into the game?))

[Erils]

Following video game logic all food either regenerates health directly or refills the hunger bar which does so. As a hacker, we are extremly well versed in the science of computers and gaming, but not so much in real life. Why else did we forget that we couldn't just store our pancakes in a magic inventory while fighting badgers.

[Parsely]

Check on everyone else.

[~Neri]

(bskw is a weapon type and wielder attack bonus ref, so I don't need to go back into my papers and check on the attack/damage stats, you will notice many of the sequences of letters come with die rolls, they mean various things. bs means broadsword, which has a total hit of 1-20 damage normally and a 11/15 chance of hitting, and kw stands for KnightlyWanderer who has a +5 bonus to anything relating to two handed swords or spears and a +5 to heavy armor resistance or deflection rolls, the bonus is added to it after the roll, you guys/girls see the raw unmodified roll.)

((Oh no keep it in. I can totally relate to using shortcuts so that you don't need to reference as much. Its a good thing.

Will we get to see the detailed stats a bit further into the game?))

(One of the characters has a power later on that allows stat readouts for characters and enemies, and another lets you see stats with weapons and armor, they need to be in the same party as you and have those passive/active abilities unlocked. Other characters let you see the stats for skill checks with passives.)

F0ll0w1n9 v1d30 94m3 l091c, y0u 455um3d 4ll f00d 317h3r r393n3r4735 h34l7h d1r3c7ly 0r r3f1ll5 7h3 hun93r 64r wh1ch 1n 7urn r393n3r4735 y0ur h34l7h. 45 4 h4ck3r, y0u 4r3 3x7r3m3ly w3ll v3r53d 1n 7h3 6c13nc3 0f c0mpu73r5 4nd 94m1n9, 6u7 n07 50 much 1n r34l l1f3 y0u 7h1nk. Why 3l53 d1d y0u f0r937 7h47 y0u c0uldn'7 ju57 570r3 y0ur p4nc4k35 1n 4 m491c4l 1nv3n70ry wh1l3 f19h71n9 64d93r5? C0ur53 17 w0uld 63 4w350m3 70 63 46l3 70 d0 7h47.

You decide to check up on everybody, you switch through their webcams rapidly.

Eric's Cat, Richardson Von Charleston III is still gaming on Eric's computer.

Kira won't wake up for another three hours. H3 n33d5 h15 634u7y 5l33p.

Kent appears to have taken down the note, his chair is empty but it says he is to be online on HamChap. H0w 0dd.

Stephen appears to be piling the bodies up in his room, he put the webcam back and tidied up a bit.

Turban's webcam shows nothing, it is dark, he is probably asleep, you activate the screen and it provides enough light to show a wall with a few very explodey looking diagrams.

Alex looks like he fell asleep in front of the computer, he's drooling.

(Yes, I just totally and blatantly stole and L3375P34K3D and slightly modified your statement Erils)
(Edited slightly, also I like how you guys/girls/others took Eric having a sentient cat in stride and didn't mention anything about it)

[Detoxicated]

Ask Kent whats going on.
Contemplate over the power of the mind over matter, searching obscure websites on the net.
(Homestuck was the first impression I got while reading this)

[~Neri]

(It is slightly inspired off Homestuck but only barely and quite a bit more grimdark later on, there are a few HS references scattered here and there though, see if you can find them.)

You message Kent.

HaFu to TeMe

 6:07am===> H3y, 73mp, y0u 0k4y 0v3r there?
 6:12am===> Y0u 7h3r3?
 6:14am===> Wh47 15 17 w17h n060dy 631n9 4r0und 70 74lk 70d4y?

You proceed to spend about 10 minutes reading about mind over matter, general psionics, and other fun stuff like that, this is a well traveled road for you as you have had a fascination with this kind of stuff since early childhood. You spend some time rereading some of your bookmarked sites, you don't find anything really useful though. You try finding new ones and ibhf[13] and succeed, you find one new one dedicated to telekinesis, it doesn't really do too much but it is a fascinating read.

You think that if you wanted to get psionics, you would need more practice time and maybe some sort of focus.