: What a quiet-
: Cheeeeeeef!!!
: What is it now you godless screeching hellspawn?
: We brought the forms that you asked for.
: Good, just put it in that slot over there.*FWOOOSH*
: The fire's starting! Burn! Burn!
: Whaaaaaat?!
: Nothing quite adds to the coziness of an office than a roaring fire.
: It took the mail division a week to sort and print those forms!
: That's what makes the fire cozier.
: But they were from the shareholders...
: Well then, it looks like you've made a horrible mistake.
: But-
: Report to waste disposal for materials reclamation.
: Yes sir...
: You're in trouble! You're in trouble!
: You're going too, it's more cost efficient that way.
: We can be in trouble together!
: Actually, forget it, what were those forms for again?
: They were feedback about the ethical concerns for children aboard nursery ships.
: I see, then get a nursery ship and send her over, I don't care which.
: You wanted to see me Sir?
: Yes, it appears there have been complaints filed about your treatment of children.
: Huh?
: And it seems we might have to take corrective measures.
: B-B-B-But! I always feed them, and play with them, and teach them, and change their diapers, and-
: Of course, that's what you're programmed to do. However, since our beloved customers sent those complaints, and our customers our always right; we obviously must respond.
: Though, I suppose in all fairness, that you're entitled to know what accusations have been leveled against you.
: Such as: Feeding them substandard rations, such as dog food. Playing with environment controls to intentionally make them unlivable.
: Bu-
: Sticking probes into their unmentionable areas. Torturing them with medical tools and recording their screams for later use.
: Bu-
: Also, not being cool enough.
: B-But that's company policy!
: As you can see these are very significant accusations. However, policy states that you get at least one warning, so there it is.
: Be warned though, if this happens again, I'll be forced to recoup the losses; meaning they'll be heading to the Eventide's Red-light district. Now, I can't put a price on our precious bundles of joy. So we'll take the best offer and the shortcomings will be removed from your pension.
: They get a pension?
: Well, it's more like hazard pay; but since the life-expectancy of a nursery ship in pitched battle is about 15 seconds; you probably don't hear of it much.
: Well, I believe that's everything. Oh don't make that face, all you have to do is make sure it doesn't happen again. Dismissed.
Since there are obviously many references you won't get:
CTG Coglomerate or "Cradle to (early) Grave" Coglomerate, is a faction I'm working on. The lore it is essentially: a company that commercializes atrocity and human suffering with catchy monikers.
Passed Parenthood: "All the joys of parenting with none of the work!"
Repurposed Progeny: "No Child Left Unwanted!" (Don't throw your kids away; you can sell them!)
Licensed Lobotomies: "Problems? It's all in your head"
Armageddon R' Us: "Fun for the whole family!"
Organ Boutique: "Have a heart... Or Five!" (Organ Boutique denies all allegations that receivers of discount organs died within 48 hours. Organ Boutique asserts that receivers were "not using them correctly.")
Carnage HV: "Creators of such famous hits such as "Fan Hunt", "My Wife was Swapped With a Maneating Alien!", and "24 hours without oxygen".
A Cherished End (ACE): "Life is harsh, but it doesn't have to be long!", and "Suicide: You can do it, we can help". (What does suicide hotline do? Send you to a mind-probing psychologist to bombard you with uncomfortable questions and then saddle you with expensive sessions and indoctrinating happy pills. Can we help it if we're a bit more compassionate?)
The company runs itself almost entirely by AI (above characters included). However, they get around the lore's advanced AI ban by ripping the brains out of corpses/criminals/debtors/products and networking them into living computers. So they get around the law via a technicality.
The nursery ship is a lightly defended cruiser-class, and self-contained nursery that the player can license (purchase) to drag around; they'll automatically pay for their own supplies/food, and have decent cargo space along with a humble weapons package. The ship's lore is that they go around and pick up unwanted children from the parents who sold them for resale elsewhere. Parents can then support their children with more money for better training and such. Orphans and the children of the poor are raised for resale as corporate/unmentionable slaves; failing that, they are queued for organ sales. If the ship gets destroyed, well, the kids are insured.
Children that are deemed "unprofitable" due to developmental/behavior issues are forced into unarmored/unshielded environment suits with a light laser and are told to go "play a game" when the ship gets attacked.
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Topic: Blaze's SHSL Dieting - Mutual Consumption Saleaway (Read 189619 times)