Game 1: Turn 2 - Colorful IntroductionsLocation: Boubers-lès-Hesmond [Boundary Active For 1 More Turn]Execute/Dumbo.exe heads to the store, where he finds a young woman behind the cash register. Execute takes a seat upon the store counter, "Listen here missy, it's time you learn the hard cold truth of club-based theft." (Girl Education: 7+3) The storekeeper is awestruck as she listens to Execute's rousing speech on the nature of life and thieves stealing both baseball and golf clubs. By the end of the speech, she's already considered Execute to be some sort of prophet who has come about of thin air in order to spread her teachings of absolute truth around the world. Still, there is one issue, "...Manquer, we do not sell golf clubs or bats." Damn! What sort of tiny village in Northern France lacks a stock full of sports equipment?
Elephant Parade runs for an abandoned building, with the aim of hiding and avoiding contact with the others for the time being. While none of the commune buildings are truly abandoned, he does find a quiet shed that seems to be used sparingly at the most. Ducking into the shed, the pop idol begins working on his next song. (Song Writing: 9) Initially, he thinks about making a humorous Scandinavian tune about animal noises, but then he realizes that while he does mainly write music for teenage girls and their boyfriends, no audience would be stupid enough to listen to a song like that. Instead, he just creates a catchy beat and puts some words like "love" and "baby" in the chorus. With this fail-safe formula, his new song is sure to take the Pop charts by storm!
Mastacheese looks around for an ATM, obviously wanting access to his large sum of bank money. After exploring the village in its totality, he comes across not a single machine. He waves to a local, "Excuse me miss, could you tell me where the nearest ATM is?" She responds, "We do not have any, but I believe they have one built in Crequy, it's just a fifteen minute walk on the road to the east."
Fractalman gives a lecture on plate tectonics and the dangers of potential energy. (Geophysics: 2+2) The crowd of bar patrons listens for a few moments before the bartender turns the television on, filling the room with headlines about a rising French actress being caught in an adultery scandal. Fractalman is then ignored as the news station manages to steal his audience away with its flashy tabloid nature. "Wait a moment! I offer a place in my kingdom to-" The Noble is interrupted as one of the drinkers hands him a fresh bottle of beer and pats him on the shoulder. "S'il vous plaît, avoir un monsieur de boisson. Je ne suis pas sûr de ce que vous parliez off, mais je suis sûr que c'était important." It probably didn't help Fractalman that some of the people in the bar lacked an understanding of English.
Xantalos finds a baseball team to join. Of course, since the village lacked a location for selling bats, it made sense that there wouldn't be a baseball team around either. There were a few boys playing a casual game of ball in their backyard, but that was as professional as sports got in Boubers. Instead, Xantalos finds a reasonably thick branch, and snaps it off a young tree. (Branch Breaking: 1) Not only does he fails to gain an improvised club, Xantalos also injures his right wrist in the attempt; definitely not a good ailment for a baseball player.
Zanzetkuken The Great looks for a Cricket Bat. His search concludes in the same manner of the previous searches for sports equipment. Damn, why couldn't this competition started in England or India?
Lord Slowpoke strides into city hall, placing his hands down upon the Reception desk. "I am here to set up a Diplomatic Embassy for the nation of the Czech Republic!" The man looks at him with a face of confusion, before drumming his fingers on the desk. "The Czech Republic already has an Embassy to France. Good-bye."
Scapheap looks for a store that sells Ice Skates in the insignificant village. Guess what he comes up with. After the wild goose chase, Scap decides to simply look around the village to find out what it actually has. There's the City Hall Building, an old Gothic Church, a Bus Stop, a small General Store, a Bakery and a dozen-plus residential homes. That's it.
Ozarck is the next person to enter City Hall, where he brushes past Lord Slowpoke. "I am here to run for office!" The receptionist begins to wonder why all of these strange foreigners were congregating in his community; he didn't see a tour bus driving around. He leans forward, "The commune council is only made up of people who live in the commune, so you can't run for office. Could you please leave now?" Ozarck leaves, but on the way out spots Donuts driving around in his Pick-up Truck. Recognizing a fellow author, Ozarck comes forward to him with a proposal. Also, there is an apparent lack of bridges around.
Anailater looks at the deed again. He was indeed the King of Buchanan Castle. This was nice, despite not a single member of royalty having lived there in over 80 years, so it had severed all royal connections and thus the title of King was superficial. Also, the Castle was ruined and overrun by invading flora. But disregarding all that, anailater had become the King.
Darkpaladin109 performs the most productive task possible, randomly spawning Beetles on other people. He comes across an idle group of locals and summons a swarm on one of them. He falls to the ground, suddenly engulfed in Beetles. The others scream and run away.
WhitiusOpus gets into a linebacker position and prepares to tackle anailater. He'd be able to tackle him really well, if he had known how to play Football instead of
Football. Regardless, he rushes the King of Buchanan Castle. (Tackle: 6 vs. 10) Wihitus's lack of tackling-experience is apparent as he misses anailater and sends himself crashing to the road next to Anailater's feet.
Sheb rings the door of the first house he sees. A middle-aged man opens the door, as Sheb introduces himself. "You muust part withha' yourr carr. I nedd it veewey mach." (Foreign Diplomacy: 4+2) The man shakes his head, "I have no car. You can take the bicycle in the garage. I hope that it can take you wherever you need to go."
Donuts checks his reliable car-road-map-thingy for directions to the nearest airfields. According to the map, the nearest airfield is almost three hours away in Antwerp, Belgium. He drives around the town looking for material for another story, but all he can find is the occasional historical plaque on the commune's history. This is when Ozarck approaches. "Do you want to write a children's book about the fictional assassination of African Americans and other minorities?"
Elephant Parade: Jonathan Fagerlund: +3 to Singing Swedish Boy Band Songs.
Lycapsus: Magically Create up to one full Bouquet-worth of plants from the Lycapsus Genus per turn.
Douglas Terman: +2 Military Knowledge and Writing.
Inventory:
Status: Fine
MastahcheeseGustavo Guerrero: +3 to Tennis and using Tennis Rackets along with similar Items.
Bremer Bank: Full Access to all of the Assets of Bremer Bank, totaling about $8 Billion.
Ponte delle Tette: Literally "Bridge of the Tits". +5 to Seduction when on a Bridge.
Inventory:
Status: Fine
Execute/Dumbo.exeVillette: +3 to Educating Girls. Also, automatically become Female.
European Union Public License: Start with a European Union Public License
Jerilyn Britz: +3 to Golf, and +2 to using Golf Clubs and other similar Items.
Inventory: European Union Public Licence
Status: Fine
Ozarck:Strategy of Terror: +3 to Stopping Assassinations of Political Officials.
San Felipe 250: +2 to Off-Road Racing.
Michelle Y. Green: +4 to Writing Children's Books concerning Stories about African Americans and other Minorities in the U.S.
Inventory:
Status: Fine
Author
Topic: Random Article Wiki-Warfare [Round 3: Organized Religion and Rumba Parties] (Read 20732 times)