RUN OFF ON AN ADVENTURE INVOLVING TROLLS AND MAGIC BOLTS AND WITCHES AND TRANSFORMATIONS AND BEING NOTICED BY SENPAI
[2] Guess what? Somebody cut your anime with bad fandub! You flail around on the floor in a fit of apparent retardation! This is terribly bad - tr00 fans choose sub! I warned ya! (-1 TRP)
RUN OFF ON AN ADVENTURE INVOLVING TROLLS AND MAGIC BOLTS AND WITCHES AND TRANSFORMATIONS AND BEING NOTICED BY SENPAI
This cannot be biaaatch! Protect Sempai from mah competizzle at all costs while showin his ass mo' ludd a affection!
[5+1] ...Okay, so this wasn't a natural six, so you are not smited for it. Your ingenuity astounds me!
Let's get married married married~! The Collaborator has received a PROPOSAL from the GM! (+1 EMB +1 LFP)
Endear myself to the audienec. Or make myself look like a badass. Either works.
[6] You endear yourself to a Polish commando fighter named Audienec! You also get hemorrhoids, so your ass is bad! I do not know whether the two events are related, and guess what? I DON'T WANNA KNOW!
Use COMBAT OPERANDI -> DEMOTE on the Knights Hospitalier to demote them to mere peasants.
[3] Your SUCKLE FLAGON is empty! Yes, I know you do not need JOCOSE HONEY to perform a COMBAT OPERANDI! I'm just distracting you until it's TOO LATE!
CHEAT LAWS OF PHYSICS. USE ALTERNATE PHYSICS TO FLY AROUND.
[4] You cheat on the laws of physics with ALTERNATE PHYSICS! The laws of physics apply for a divorce! You shamelessly move away to live with your lover, ALTERNATE PHYSICS! You filthy, adulterous swine-bag! I also hate people who roll fours! Four is the boringest number! I hate you!
Cry because of my miserable failure. Ask GM for forgiveness, and aid in respawning. Oh, and respawn.
[5] Oh, alright, just this once. Because you asked politely. But this doesn't mean we're friends, you geddit?
WhitiusOpus is respawned! (+1 LFP)
Create a computer using space as material.
[4] You create a computer out of LINUX SPACE! Unfortunately, it's ARCH LINUX SPACE, so stuff is kinda complicated, and you don't even have a desktop interface yet, but I'm sure you can figure it out. In time. When you're wiser.
Become the Other Wizard and Revive Gandalf.
[3] No. You are not a wizard. There are no other wizards except Gandalf! Everybody else is HERESY. Unless you want to be that weird Radagast guy with all his birdies and whatever.
Post to watch, thus stretching the GM's strength thinner!
[6] ...I don't know what to make of it. Ah, wait, here.
Avis has received two pages of replies! His update speed has dropped to a nanoletter per second! What hast thou done, thou phat fool?Attempt to channel holy power into Zanzetkuken to give him a holiness meter.
Heal any of Zanzetkuken's knights who fall.
[1] You sacrifice yourself in a blood-chilling ritual of darkness, giving up your life to give Zanzetkuken a holiness meter, but what you thought was the light of God is actually a defiling flood of sticky blood, creeping black from your torn heart and into the cracks in the world, where
they wait and hunger.
THE WILD HUNT HAS BEEN CALLED! HORNS SOUND IN THE DISTANCE, AND GHOSTLY HOOVES THUNDER! THE HUNT IS AFTER ZANZETKUKEN! Two turns until arrival. (+1 PLT)
Clean off fleck. Finish recombombulation. Become Tigertron prime.
[3]It's stuck. Lame, yeah? The only thing that prevents your ascension is a MISERABLE FLECK OF BULLSHIT. But hey, if you rolled a one, I would make
you become bullshit and die. I rule your life, miserable monkey.
Continue ta pray so much dat I overload mah holynes meter.
[3+1] You are awash with divine power, dogg! Just a bit more, and it WILL be full! Did I tell you I hate people who roll fours yet? (+3 HOL)
Arrive as mah dirty ass, n' pull mah own underground GM-meter outta mah pocket n' place it by mah character stats, biiatch.
[1+1] You do arrive, and just as you open this thread, the 5-0 sweeps in to detain you for possession of an illegal GM-meter! Your gangsta powers save you from being stomped, but you drop the meter as you flee! Some cop has it now! This is dangerous!
Charge more fish!
[4] Done! How about you get a fish-charger's license or some shit like that?
Continue ta pray so much dat I overload mah holynes meter.
Join her and pray
FTFY
Dont you know There are no girls on the internet
But alright Pray with her
[6]
GODD hears your lame-ass prayers! He grants you stigmata and you get eldritcher!
GODD is one scary mutha fucka! (+3 ELD)
[5] You are now a fire elemental! This is kinda cool, I say so myself. Certainly a nice alternative to stopping, dropping, and rolling, though I wouldn't put it into a PSA.
Find a nice Fire Weird to settle down with. Make little fire babies. Lots of little fire babies.
[4] You settle down with one! Her name is Mary! You have a son, called Mary, and a daughter, also called Mary! You also get a notice reminding you to bold your actions! What ho!
Complies with notice, cursing government interference.
Raise Fire Elemental/weird children as elite warriors.
[6] You raise them as the uberest fucking commandos this side of Israel! But the Government recruits them for Government shit! You are only allowed to see them once a week now! Mary is devastated!
Throw a wheel of cheese at the GM
[5] Ow, man, that fucking hurt. People like you shouldn't be allowed to have cheese! (EMB +1)
Create propaganda about GM
Because I couldn't sit back and watch n'more.
[2] You apply to the propaganda office with your hilarious fucking shenanigan proposal, but the SCARY OFFICE LADY turns you down and glares at you until you flee! That is horrible!
Be so bitchin' cool, yo, that da GM be growin' a razzledazzle stat, an' if he be runnin' out, he be in deep shizzle.
[1+1] Fuck dat shit, you can't do dat son! Yo ass have no razzledazzle stat n' yo ass is not cool, just gangsta!
Orpheus strummed till his wild lil' fingers bled
Dude hit a G minor seven
Dude raised up Dogg from a thugged-out deep, deep chill
Dogg was a major playa up in Heaven
Sigged.
Attack with the godmodder, unless he has a different idea. Then follow his idea.
INTERCEPT ACTION!Fight any and all that attack the GM.
Have Knights Hospitalier assist in the defense.
[4 vs 1] The Knights get their black-garbed asses handed to them thoroughly! As you organize a hasty retreat, an eerie wind shakes the trees all around you. You hear the baying of hounds in the distance, and the hunting horns carved of oathbreakers' bones - you know them by the screams that resound in their call. Goosebumps run all over your skin. You pray to the Lord, for you know that
the Wild Hunt is upon you.
Trap GM in Dwarf Fortress. Preferably in such a way he is physical annilated by Cacame, destroyed spiritually by The Holistic Detective, and obliterated metaphysically by Armok.
[1] NO U. You are currently trapped in DF, running from an enraged Giant Badger. But seeing as you're stupid, you can't quite remember the way back to the fortress, so you run in the opposite direction, and are mauled into bits. Serves your ass right.
I lurk amassing my shadow power.
[3] Your shadow ninja power, I take it? I dunno what it is, so no-thang happens. How predictably lame.
GM TURN:
Avis summons the Inquisition to kill every muthafucka who rolls a four! [5] YES! I shall not have to deal with this boring-ass number again!
KHAN TURN:
Khan wraps himself in a STACHE COCOON to survive the coming of the Hunt! (-1 STH)
OVERDRIVE METER: |=====____|
ALCOHOL METER: |==_______|
LOVE FRIENDSHIP POWER METER: |==========|
EMBARRASSMENT METER: |========_|
PLOT GAUGE:|=====____|
Lenglon: HOLINESS |============|
Dorsidwarf: UNDEFINED |========_|
Derm: INVISIBLE HELICAT SQUAD: |========_|
JAGHATAI KHAN: STACHE METER:|===========_|
killerhellhound: ELDRITCHITUDE METER: |====_____|
LordSlowpoke: TROPE METER: |========_|
DarkArtemisFowl TROLL SLOT: [PISS-WEAK TROLLS]
Author
Topic: Roll to be friends with the GM - Well, I did say "within this year"... (Read 48620 times)