In other news, managed to find an even more annoying bar patron than Patronizing Bitcoin Economist.
I'd just like to recount a bit of this encounter while I still remember.
I was sitting at the bar, sharing the occasional word with the Finnish bartender and her coworker for the night (who bears a certain passing resemblance to Olivia Wilde). Suddenly this fairly rectangular fellow in a button-up shirt sidled up and flung himself into the conversation (and my right side, despite there being plenty of open space) by ordering four rum & cokes. He then corrected himself, something about it not being called a "Coke and Morgan" because they didn't have Captain Morgan.
Finnish chick starts tending to his order, and the chap jovially leans over to me and murmurs... Something. I didn't really catch what he said, so I just smiled and nodded and went back to focusing on my own drink. He eventually gets his order and shuffles back to his buddies.
A couple hours later and he comes back, this time colliding with my left side instead of my right (there was even more space at the bar when this happened). He orders a couple beers, then turns to me and exclaims "Well hey, you're still here! What a pleasant surprise!" (the direct translation is closer to "that's nice"/"that's cozy"). I just nodded and said "Yep" before turning back. But this was clearly a man who would not take "Yep" for an answer, and he followed up with "So, you on the prowl tonight? Hitting up chicks?". I said no, I wasn't, and that I in fact had a girlfriend.
"Oh? Where's she then?"
"At home."
"Ah, I see, I see..."
A few brief moments passed, neurons fired, and then he loaded up the logical continuation for this pleasant chat:
"So, just out drooling over the sights eh?"
I was a bit put out, honestly. I just looked at him quizzically while trying to figure out what the fuck he just said, but then things got broken off by his beers being ready and getting served to him. Thanking Dionysus for his timely intervention, I went back to my hipster craft beer and decided to pretend that the whole thing never happened.
But that's just a bit too easy, innit?
A short while later, he swaggered back to the bar with a shit-eating grin of monolithic proportions, and with his sights clearly set on me. I acted as though I hadn't seen him and focused on my glass, but he was clearly intent on rolling out his new crowd-pleaser.
"So! You're out here chasing skirts while the old bag's snoozing at home, eh?"
Excuse me the fuck?